Was I Lucky To Have Two Mothers?

I had a mother forty years older than me, but never a blood father. I have since discovered where my father is, and I don't care. My birth mother Margaret, although intelligent was given a terrible hand with the abundance of illnesses she experienced in her life, apparently from a young age. This is because she had a beautiful mother, although a violent father, mainly because of PTSD from fighting in wars. As a result, he somehow had a curse towards women, and idolised men. My grandmother had a brutal time, having to go to the pub each pay day, to ensure that he doesn't spend his entire pay on alcohol. The family were hungry beyond measure at times (being my birth mother, and her two brothers.)

Not to gain any sympathy, because I have personally healed that part of my life, yet I was yanked out into the world, six weeks premature forty years ago myself, via a C-section at night. This is due to my birth mother not having the strength to induce normal labour. Through attending a past life regression session during the pandemic, I also discovered that my birth mother definitely miscarried six years earlier, and it turned out to be the same soul, as in me. It is scary that I could have been born six years earlier than I actually was, and that way my birth mother would have seen me reach adulthood before crossing the rainbow bridge, although it wasn't meant to be.

Guess life was meant to begin for me right now, in the midst of a global pandemic, as per that saying when you turn a certain age.

I knew that my birth mother wanted the best for me, like all birth mothers do. I was a brat of a child, and that was because of those circumstances, and I was behind the 8-ball at school (getting called retarded frequently). The teasing finally stopped in my final two years of school. Since then I have forgiven her, and my birth father, as well as myself. Life was hard for my mother. She mad Multiple Sclerosis, as well as many other illnesses, in addition to being rejected by my father for not marrying her. He did it with her to then become pregnant unexpectedly with me, while he was in the process of getting a divorce.

It saddened me to see my mother's health decline. 1989 was the year that took the ticket in that regard. I was brought up with asthma, and my birth mother was using a walking stick because of her MS, in addition to being a heavy smoker to calm her nerves. Not long after my cancer diagnosis (missing more school, now a blessing) my birth mother had to now use a wheelchair to get around.

Little did I know that my 'gift' from her was just around the corner.

Once I recovered from my surgery, I was introduced to a loving foster family who looked after me one weekend a month. Things at home were naturally hard, and due to these circumstances, my childhood was cut short. The time progressed where my foster family (I now have a father, as well as an older brother and sister suddenly, from being an only child) would also look after me when my birth mother was in hospital. Margaret's hospital stays were constant and long.

My first year in high school (what we call it in Australia, and in America it is Junior High) I was absent, as well as devastated. My birth mother ended up spending the last five months of her life in hospital, peacefully moving on at 4pm on the 22nd of November 1993 in palliative care. Turned out that my birth mother also had multiple cancers in the lung, and in the brain.

Missing more school as a result, the search was on for me to be placed with a permanent foster family (imagine that, I was close to getting three moms), and therefore I stayed with my current foster family until this happened. I had now moved on from living in public housing.

The universal law of attraction was in force, way before The Secret was released, and little did I know or understand that law at the time. I just knew I would be taken care of; and with my foster family, I finally realised what love actually is. My birth mother was not raised in a loving family, and therefore she did her best to pass on her interpretation of love to me. I also mentioned to my foster mother a few times I was staying with her that "I wish I could live with you."

You know where this is going. My foster family agreed to foster me on a permanent basis, and I was made a state ward until I was 18 years of age. That meant I had to see out high school until the very end. I was one of the lucky ones, with supportive case managers, a couple of which my foster mother and I became close friends with.

My foster mother and father were into personal development. That enthusiasm rubbed onto me, more than it did on their own children, even though my foster sister is also a certified NLP Practitioner. As a result, I enrolled in a positive thinking course just as I started high school. Life was still a piece of crap for me, yet it set the foundations for me to take my personal development studies further when I fulfilled an impossible dream of completing university when I was 25 years young, and then buying my first house to quickly move into at the same time, in addition to taking care of my own University tuition expenses.

I have realised that having foster parents was (and still is) a gift that my birth mother Margaret passed onto me. Even better, I am still in contact with my foster parents today. Other foster kids I met during my time in a foster home were not as fortunate. Some got shifted from family to family (hence more moms present), and one ended up living in a refuge (no more mothers), because the agency could not find another suitable family for him.

My second mom and first father have enriched my life for the better. Of course it was up to me, yet I had two amazing case managers who pleaded with them to give me another chance when I was almost kicked out of my foster home (and at school) at sixteen years of age. I also wanted to leave school at that time, yet out of the blue I was awarded a scholarship to carry on. Not always a bed of roses, yet the foster care agency called me a "success story."

In addition to providing talks about foster care to new foster carers as part of their training; I even visited one of the case managers in hospital back in early 2011, while I was on holidays in Sydney from Melbourne. I thanked her for saving my life, and luckily I did that, because she died a few months later at 75 years of age. I re-located back to Sydney, not long after her funeral in August 2012.

My foster mom has informed me that I have also enriched her life through this extra selfless act of adding a third (adopted) child to her family, and I can never thank her (and dad) enough. A million or two more thank you's will never do it. This is why it is an honour to write this article for the Vocal+ Boss Mom competition, with writing being so therapeutic for yours truly, in addition to being a handsome income earner. I am sure this is helping other people in the process, more importantly.

Not to harp on, yet although I have not given them a marriage ceremony or grandkids as yet; however I have given them a child who has won a few scholarships; the first to get a University (in America, college) degree, and attend my graduation ceremony (although now my older siblings are now University educated); and my foster mom was also honoured to be a sponsor for a special celebration for me (cannot mention, as per Vocal Media's guidelines). I have also given them a child who was an elected school prefect, and despite all odds (not bad for someone who was once retarded) winning academic awards. I have also given them a daughter who has purchased real estate (own home, and now investment property), stocks, and cryptocurrency; in addition to having an entrepreneur/business owner on their hands.

My foster mother is a legend, and I love her so much, more than she even realises. Only a few months ago (as at the time of writing this), I received a call from the nursing home/assisted care facility where my blood uncle lives (the only blood member left in my family, apart from me) that he is experiencing mood swings/depression as a result of being lonely and bored, due to being locked in, as a result of the COVID-19 Pandemic taking a toll on him in that way. I was due to quit my part-time retail job at that point anyway, because my new IT business (career change during the pandemic) was, and still is doing so well. This gave me the fire in my belly to quit that job sooner rather than later. I urgently visited him, and the time had come to get serious about organising a power of attorney, and to prepay his funeral in advance. All of that sad stuff. I tried hard to organise it myself, and I was unable to get through to him.

To the rescue, my foster mom drove thirty two hours (two return trips) from Deniliquin to Sydney to help organise the papers, and agreed to be a second power of attorney for my blood uncle, in case something happens to me. She organised the taxis to the lawyers office, and the signatories on his bank account (with her being one of them). I cannot thank her enough for this selfless act alone, even though I gave her a goodies bag of treats, mixed in with her Mothers Day presents. She appreciated that thank you, and did not expect it.

Thankfully a week after these affairs were organised, and COVID-19 was out of sight for the time being; I was able to travel to see her new place in Deniliquin; and bless her again, she gives me Sambucol and Codral cold and flu tablets to help get rid of my cold, of which turned out to be pneumonia.

At the same time, we did a motherly thing, and visited the Mathoura Bra Fence on my recent stay with my foster mom in Deniliquin. We each made a donation to a local charity for a bra each to hang on the fence, and we then made a donation in the tin, with proceeds towards helping breast cancer sufferers receive some much needed care in the bush.

Still a supportive and loving mother, and I aim to do the same in return for her. Bless her. She deserves a special award. Sadly, my foster parents separated when I was 16, and are now divorced. I am pleased as punch that my foster mother and father have remained as friends. I adore both of them.

On that, if I win any prize money from the Boss Mom contest, I will be giving half of my winnings to my foster mom. (For privacy reasons, my foster mom wishes not to be photographed. I do not have a photo of the burial plaque for my birth mother. Thank you for your understanding.)

Thank you birth mother for bringing me into the world, and doing your best to love and look after me. Thank you for putting me into good schools that you could afford at the time. Thank you for giving me what you have given me in the first thirteen years of my life.

Thank you to my foster mother for looking after me since I was nine years of age. Thank you for not giving up on me, and for giving me another few chances at life, and for helping me along the journey of healing and personal development. Thank you for supporting me over the last thirty one years of my life thus far. Thank you for being only half asleep in your bed, until I was home after a late night out with friends in my teenage and early adult years. That alone is also a selfless sacrifice. Thank you for also checking in on me, until all of those "what are you doing today?" questions phased out until I reached my mid-thirties, despite being independent in a forceful way so soon in life. Also thank you for not sending me to boarding school after my birth mother passed away, as that terrified me at the time. Thank you for allowing me to stay at the same school, despite the school giving me a year of no school fees after my birth mother passed on.

Cheers to all of those beautiful moms out there. Thank you for being in charge of us, until we became old enough to make our own decisions. Even after that stage, we still want you.

If you love your mother (and father) to bits, then please heart this article in gratitude for her (and for him), and for also bringing you into this world.