Unspoken Love

“ALLAHU AKBAR” Eman exclaimed proudly as she raised her forehead from the floor, continuing in her prayer. Staring off into the interwoven threads on her prayer mat, her mind escaped from the cramped musty supply closet, devoted only to her worship. Finishing her prayers she wiped tears from her eyes, adjusted her hijab, and brushed off her scrubs. As she opened the door, she pretended not to see the looks from her colleagues. Continuing to the front desk only a smile and a nod was offered as a greeting from the charge nurse, she picked up a silver tray labeled for unit #255. Anticipation was starting to build, it was finally time to meet the newest troublesome resident. Rumors ran rampant following a violent altercation the other day and now none of the other girls dared to enter her unit. Being a woman who wore the hijab she had witnessed all too well how quick people are to ostracize those who are different. Balancing the tray of food in one hand Eman double-checked her secret weapon was still packed tightly away in her pocket.

Opening unit #255 Eman found a lady with the most radiant smile sitting by the window, staring out with youthful excitement. Her wrinkled hands held a curious black notebook, torn at the seams. Eman had heard about that book, Esmerelda and her notebook were never more than an arm's length from each other. The pages were constantly being filled with the pen strokes of its 90-year-old master and when the last nurse touched it Esmerelda lashed out, striking her across the face. Approaching cautiously Eman couldn't help but glance out the window, almost immediately becoming entranced by the majestic performance on display. Gliding delicately through the air the wind rushing through its feathers, freedom in its wings, the evening light bouncing off its white plumage making it shine. Eventually, it came to a halt elegantly landing on its nest, just a window or two away from Esmerelda's, a worm in its mouth it softly dropped it into the anxious mouths of its chicks.

Sadness began to fill Eman’s heart, snapping her out of the enchantment she placed the tray down on the table. Esmerelda, who still had her eyes locked on the birds, heard the noise and shot up letting out a flurry of what Eman could only guess were swears. Eman raised her hands, palms out, she wasn't here to cause any harm and wanted to prove she could be trusted. It was going to take a lot of work to get there, the previous altercation ended with Esmerelda being forcefully sedated. Reaching into her pocket for her secret weapon slowly and with finesse she pulled out a small book, showing its front cover to Esmerelda, a Spanish to English Dictionary. Eman’s excitement was short-lived, Esmerelda pointed to the word “español'' and shook her head. Frustrated by her coworker's incompetence Eman scoffed

Undoubtedly a major set back to her plan, Eman was undeterred in her quest to communicate with this lady. She pointed towards the food then to Esmerelda miming the motion of eating. Pointing to her mouth, Esmerelda fake gagged. A giggle slipped out of Eman, there was no denying the food here was horrendous, Esmerelda’s smile returned to her face. Sympathizing with the ladies' taste buds, Eman tried explaining she would make her some of her own food, by pointing towards herself then the food then to Esmerelda. Unsure if she even understood Eman began removing the sheets from the bed for cleaning. Esmerelda pointed towards the pillows. Eman grabbed one and felt it, they were far too hard. Eman piled the pillows at the door gesturing that she will bring back new ones. Eman pulled out a piece of paper filled with a range of faces, from happy to sad numbered 1-10 showing it to Esmerelda. Slightly shaking her finger traced its way to the second saddest face. She pointed to her head, made a fist beating it gently on her other palm. A headache? Eman had now collected a list of requests that could help make Esmerelda’s stay here at this depressing hospice a little more bearable; she left hurriedly to collect them.

Eman returned with a container with some samosas, Advil, and new fluffy pillows. Esmerelda got up with as much spring as was left in her step, taking the food with a thankful nod and smile. Returning to her chair, busily working away at her notebook, Eman starred, wondering how to find out more about this mysterious little lady. Haunting over her was the responsibility to inquire about Esmerelda's financial situation, staying here was not free. They took her in after finding her practically crawling at the doorstep, without any information apart from her first name, Esmerelda had nothing to cover her stay.

Esmerelda beckoned her over to witness her masterpiece, a life-like portrait of Eman sketched beautifully. Esmerelda gently tore off the sheet of paper handing it to her. An idea sparked into Eman's head. She beckoned and pointed indicating her intent to have the notebook, Esmerelda paused for a moment unsure. Slowly, as if relinquishing a child she passed the book over. With less grace and elegance than the pages were used to she drew two tall people, smiling and holding hands, just to the side of them were smaller people, with a question mark above. Esmerelda studied Eman's cryptic question until eventually, she realized what Eman had drawn. A Family.

Esmerelda took the pen, deliberately she drew underneath the man what was clearly a grave, before erasing the children. Shaking her head she gestured towards her stomach then pointed back towards the smudge marks that remained. Eman's head bowed, growing up that was one of her biggest fears. Esmerelda gestured towards Eman for her to answer the questions about family. A sharp pain built up in Eman's heart, so visible on her face that Esmerelda put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. The question of money had to be brought up, pressing on she drew a picture of a dollar sign, hoping the segue was not untactful. Esmerelda just shook her head, showing empty hands. Such a kind woman shouldn't be denied care, somehow they would find a way to get the money. Eman gestured this as best she could before having to continue with other residents.

Following their previous encounter, Eman came to work excited for another day with Esmerelda. Bringing a game of Connect 4, an Atlas, a magazine, a sharpie, a fresh home-cooked meal, and pamphlets from local charities. Esmerelda's energetic smile was there to meet her, together they sat and ate while playing a game of Connect 4, which became surprisingly competitive. As the last puck slid down, a gasp came out of Eman, she didn't see that coming. Esmerelda chuckled with pride. Eman pulled out the Atlas, pretending the loss didn't sting, flipping to a world map ready to learn where her new friend came from. Esmerelda's finger gave her the answer as it pointed at Portugal, Eman blushed with embarrassment. In turn, she pointed to Syria, a worried look came over Esmerelda. Eman’s pager went off, an emergency, she darted out of the room.

It wasn't until the next day that Eman reunited with Esmerelda, who upon seeing her smiled pointing towards the magazine. Flipping through it, Eman saw circles from the sharpie around interesting items, delectable-looking foods, beautiful scenery, or extravagant clothing. Smiling she paused to give Esmerelda a look, she had circled a half-naked man and drew a little cartoon of Eman with heart eyes beside him. Esmerelda was laughing hysterically, Eman showed off her wedding wing, wiggling it on her finger rolling her eyes jokingly. After a good laugh, Esmerelda pointed towards the ring, and the family drawing in the notebook. Eman took the notebook, taking a deep breath she prepared to tell her story.

Upon a fresh page Eman drew a figure of herself, then a man beside her holding her hand, a small girl joining them, all three of them noticeably sad. Around them sketches of broken buildings with a bomb symbol overhead. An arrow with an airplane above offered escape, on the other side of the arrow only Eman was carried to the new world. A graduation hat and a roll of paper singled her education was her key to freedom. Around her money signs appeared with the money being sent back home, and towards another plane. After a pause, Esmerelda took the pencil from Eman's hand and drew a ring than an arrow to the plane. Eman shook her head looking down at her wedding ring, it wouldn't be worth nearly enough to smuggle her family out of Syria and then pay for their flight here. Esmerelda shook her head too, she walked over to her nightstand and pulled from it a case handing it to Eman. Opening it slowly the brightest most gorgeous ring was held within, breathtaking in its beauty. Esmerelda pointed towards it and then towards the money, Eman shook her head and tried to give it back. Instead, Esmerelda just closed her hand around Eman’s making her grasp the ring she brought her hands to her heart, kissing them. As Esmerelda pushed her hands gently back towards her Eman noticed the silver cross around her neck for the very first time. Esmerelda embraced her, both sobbing, neither of them ever wanting to let go.

Eventually, they did have to let go, Eman had to continue with her day and caring for the other residents. Upon clocking out her excitement had reached a boiling point, she practically sprinted to a nearby pawnshop. Though she still had mixed feelings images of her family flooded into her mind. Her husband held her hand leading the way, her young daughter struggling to keep up with her pace. Before she knew it she was standing in the pawnshop awaiting their return, they had taken the ring to inspect it closer. Daydreams kept coming, this time a picnic with the three of them enjoying a meal. When the man came out he looked around the store cautiously before handing her paper with an offer. Eman thought it was a typo, $20,000, there's no way, Esmerelda couldn't have known it was worth this much. Looking up in disbelief the teller nodded his head affirming there had been no mistake.

The weight of the realization began to overwhelm her. How could this be possible, a woman who's on the verge of being homeless just gave away a $20000 ring? There's no way she could accept it, yet every time she thought of returning it she could hear bombs and gunshots nearby, the sounds her daughter hears every night. It just seemed so unreal, her family could be reunited with her again their laughter could fill the ring in her ears again. Maybe Esmerelda doesn't understand if she doesn't pay she will be removed, after all, Eman didn’t really explain that part.

Gunshots.

The next day when she opened the doors of unit #255 there was no smile, only a cold breeze greeted her. She shouldn't have been kicked out yet, she still had a few days of grace period. Eman found the black book on the table, open to a drawing of her family together in a park. Looking up ready to fight for Esmerelda to return, she saw the charge nurse, looking down and shaking her head with a paper in her hand. Eman knew what that paper meant, but there's no way, she was so healthy just the day before. The charge nurse handed her the paper, it happened peacefully in her sleep. Eman collapsed to the floor, looking out the window the little white bird caught her eye, its chicks begging for food, as it slowly lowered their sustenance into their helpless mouths.