Two fifth-grade girls meet and jump from a building, hiding 10 million educational truths ignored by their parents: parents break their promises and their children accomplish nothing.

Once watched a CCTV program "Psychological interview", there was a girl who was impressive.

17-year-old Ai, a prospective high school examinee in a key high school, has excellent academic performance, which is the pride of his parents.

However, at the most critical moment of study, she suddenly said to her parents, "I'm not going to school."

At first I thought she was not feeling well, but she asked for leave for more than two months, and her parents became more and more anxious.

Said also said, scolded also scolded, but Xiao Ai refused to go out of the house half a step, but also conflict with his parents. A good family of three is clouded with sorrow all day.

It was not until his parents went to the show to ask for help that Xiao Ai revealed the real reason why he did not want to go to school.

It turned out that she thought her parents were "liars" and didn't care about her at all.

On her birthday, she obviously reminded her parents the day before, and her parents also promised to accompany her, but finally broke her promise.

She protested, but was criticized by her parents as "ignorant". It was clear that her parents were at fault first, but they still blamed it on her.

Xiao Ai felt very disappointed, so he had no motivation to continue to go to school and did not want to meet his parents' expectations.

Some people may say, how can you be as knowledgeable as your parents when you are so old?

In fact, it is precisely because children are sensible and care about that they cannot accept their parents'"broken promises".

American writer Nan Sifu said: "Children may not always remember their parents' repeated exhortations, but they will always remember exactly what their parents promised casually."

Don't think that children won't argue with their parents. It's not a big problem to go back on their promises once or twice.

But in the eyes of children, parents do not keep their promises, is deception, neglect, enough to remember for a lifetime.

Parents'"words" are true, and the harm is also true.

Psychologist Adler mentioned in the Art of Communication that language can make and break children.

Parents' commitment to their children is the instinct to respond to their children's needs.

But if you don't take it seriously and break your promise easily, it will be easy to turn the expression of love into irreversible harm.

There is a very popular video on the Internet, which is thought-provoking.

The little girl was chosen by the school as the lead singer of the chorus show. She was so excited that as soon as she got home, she invited her parents to go to school to watch.

But my parents are very busy at work, so if they want to open a shop to make money, they say, "think about it."

In order to convince her parents, the girl wrote a note to beg her parents to go.

Seeing his daughter's sincere invitation, the father decided to listen to his daughter.

On the night of the performance, I was finally looking forward to the last guest leaving, and my parents were getting ready to pack up and rush to school.

But suddenly came a large wave of diners, the mother saw the business door, could not bear to refuse, decided to give up her promise to her daughter.

They did not know that their daughter had been waiting for them to appear from before the stage, until the end of the show, there was no sign of them, so she had to sit alone on the stairs and feel sad.

Seeing them late, no matter how much they explained, the daughter wouldn't listen.

Their breach of faith deceived their daughter's feelings, completely dashed her hopes, and aroused her dissatisfaction.

There is a saying in the Japanese drama Quartet: "what is sadder than sadness is empty joy."

For children, what parents say under oath turns out to be a "lie". What could be more frustrating than this?

Not long ago, two little girls in Wenzhou, Zhejiang Province, because their parents did not keep their word and did not keep their promise to accompany them to each other's house, they sat on the edge of the fourth floor canopy ready to jump off the building.

If the parents break the appointment, they must have no idea that it will have such a great impact on their children.

But the truth is that children really listen to what their parents promise them and make sure that their parents will keep their promises.

Once things go against one's wishes, the parents' breach of faith will make the children bitter, and even become a kind of obsession that hurts themselves.

Parents'"lies" are unraveling their children's sense of security.

Professor Li Meijin said: "the feelings of children are often determined by the attitude of their parents."

Parents "deceive" their children again and again, no matter what the reason is, the children will only feel that they are not being noticed and valued, and it is difficult to establish a sense of self-confidence and sense of security.

Zhang Chao, a famous Chinese actor, has participated in his daughter's Reality Show show.

I wanted to understand the true thoughts of my daughter who did not grow up around me, but she was "accused" by her daughter.

Usually careless daughter, but sensitive and fragile, but also a little afraid of marriage.

The root cause lies in Zhang Chao's dishonesty.

Every time I promised to pick up my daughter on Saturday and Sunday, but every time I broke my promise and never showed up within the agreed time.

The daughter got up early to freshen up and waited eagerly, but his phone couldn't get through and no one answered.

Once, twice, three times... The mood also changes from expectation to disappointment to hopelessness.

All these years, the only evaluation he got was: an unreliable person.

Because of him, the daughter is not sense of security about intimacy, nor is she confident enough.

Lin Zak, a sociologist, said: "parents are the closest and most trusted people to their children, and every deception from parents is enough to crush the inner world of their children."

Children who lack sense of security and trust not only find it difficult to trust others, but also become untrustworthy people, unable to establish a trusting relationship with the world.

Under the hot topic "Why many children in China don't consider their parents' feelings", some people share this:

Her mother told her to help tidy up the groceries at home, but she agreed, but didn't bother to move.

As a result, he was scolded, "you child, you have gone back on your word".

At that moment, she wanted to go back: it was you who often failed to do what you promised me, which made me feel that promises were fake and that it didn't matter whether you kept your promises or not.

The dishonesty of the parents overdraws the trust of the children.

Children who are forced to be isolated will only slowly become numb after losing the last bit of fantasy about their parents.

It is not that he likes to be a "liar", but that his parents give him a wrong example, so that he can learn to break his promise and break his promise.

The benefits of being a "trustworthy" parent are far beyond imagination.

Recently, Dr. Zhao Yuyi, a doctor from Tsinghua University, has a share on Weibo.

A mother asked him that she had promised her daughter a new mobile phone in three years' time, but now the time was up. She saw that her daughter was ready for her third year of high school, and her cell phone was fine, and asked if she could "break her promise."

In Dr. Zhao's reply, I saw his answer: no.

Now that you have promised the child, you must keep your promise. Building a trust relationship with your child is more important than a cell phone.

I think so.

Far-sighted parents will never ignore their children's expectations of the promise because of their own self-interest, let alone find various excuses to refuse to fulfill the promise.

The right thing for parents to do about what they have said is:

1. Before you make a promise, think carefully about whether it can be fulfil