To My Future Daughter

To my future daughter, I haven’t yet met your father. I may never meet him, and as a result, you may never even come into existence. I haven’t even yet decided if I will ever be ready for you, or to be a mother in general. I don’t know if or when I will ever be ready to make that choice. But just in case I ever get to meet you, I want you to know that even before you were conceived you were already the strongest, toughest woman I will ever know.



If you are ever meant to be, you will be born into a world where women will still be struggling to overcome adversity and challenges based on their gender. Make no mistake, we have come such a long way over the past century, but there are still going to be challenges and struggles for you to overcome. You are going to deal with people questioning your motives for pursuing certain goals. You are going to have people question your competency for doing certain things. You are going to have people tell you that you are wanting all the wrong things in life. People aren’t going to believe you when you communicate your dreams, desires, and ambitions to them. I am going to tell you to ignore what they say. You’re not going to believe me, and will ignore me, because, I am only your mom, and what would I know. But because you are so strong, and so tough, you are going to listen to what they say, and then silently, and diligently, prove them wrong.



You are going to struggle with having your heartbroken by someone who isn’t yet ready for all you have to offer. This may even happen multiple times. You are going to be devastated, and cry. I am going to hold you in my arms and console you, and know there is nothing I can do to fix it. You are going to ask me why they left you, and I am not going to have an answer. You are going to ask how you could do better, and I am going to tell you there was nothing you could have done, you were just trying to be yourself. I am going to tell you someone should either love you for who you are or leave, and them leaving was a blessing in disguise. You’re not going to believe me, and will ignore me, because, I am only your mom, and what would I know. But because you are so strong, and so tough, you are going to spend your time grieving, and then you are going to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and keep on going.



You are going to question who you are. You are going to question if you are on the right path. You are going to question if you are letting someone down. You might even think you are letting me down. You are going to question everything. There will be days when you are lonely. There will be days when you are sad. There will be days when you don’t know who you can trust. There will be days when you don’t know if you will be able to trust again. You will call you me and say, “Mom, what am doing? Am I making a mistake?” And I will tell you to keep on following your dreams and your passions, and as long as you are happy, that’s all that matters. And I will watch as you continue to struggle, but I won’t tell you what to do. It’s your life, and my role is just to support you, and help you figure things out for yourself. You will struggle and succeed, struggle and succeed, and I will tell you that if you are happy, this means you are on the right path. You’re not going to believe me, and will ignore me, because, I am only your mom, and what would I know. But because you are so strong, and so tough, you will recognize that you are staying true to yourself, and that as long as you keep believing in yourself, that’s all that matters.



To my future daughter, I haven’t yet met your father. But because you are so strong, and so tough, I have realized that I am also so strong, and so tough. I have realized that I don’t necessarily need to meet him to know if I will ever be ready for you. And I am ready for you.