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TO MY DAUGHTER

HONESTY# FORGIVENESS, LOVE#HATE,#FAITH#HOPE

By Daphne Doss SutherlunPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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DAUGHTERS LOVE

I Think I Must have Re-Written This Letter Over A Thousand Times, trying To Find The right words to say to you. Averi, My life didn't begin until you were born, with every breath you took brought A new adventure, Feelings that I had never experienced. You gave me A new understanding of the meaning of life.

The first few months I had no clue what I was doing no idea why you wouldn't stop crying. I admit I got angry. A few times, well more like A thousand times. The truth Is every minute with you has been A string of events that taught me the meaning of motherhood.

I Loved watching you learn to crawl and walk. I will never forget the day I was cleaning your room and found poop in your kitchen set. Those are memories that make me smile even today. I even embraced the times you were sick, because it meant I got extra cuddle time. Being A mom didn't come with instructions. I was young and stupid. I made so many mistakes that I wish I could take back. I missed your childhood and, that is something I will regret the rest of my life. There has not been A day that goes by that I haven't thought about you.

Averi I have failed you in so many ways. I failed at not Being there when You needed the most. I failed you at not giving You The love And, guidance that you deserved. I failed at not putting you and your sister first. I failed at not being there to help you get ready for school ,and playing dolls with you.I failed at not being there to help you get ready for your first date, and prom. I failed at not being there to with with you on your first Break-up. I failed at not giving you the love you so much deserve. I was selfish , I seemed to always fall short. I can't apologize to you enough For not being the mother you needed. I also want tell you that I i'm sorry for making every weekend, and summer you were here all about zack.

There has been so many times that I wanted to call or show up, Or ask Zack about you, but I didn't want to come in the way of the relationship between the two of you. When Kristian got married I wanted to run up and hug you. You looked so beautiful, but I wanted wanted to respect your wishes. Your father did A great job raising Yo, and Kristian. there are not enough words that I could say to your father for stepping up and raising you. Your dad did a amazing job. He gave you and your sister the life you deserved.

I remember the day that I called your dad to come get you like it was yesterday. I was not mature enough to give you, and your sister the life You so dearly deserved. I knew that your dad would give you the life I couldn't. He was an awesome dad and I knew you would be okay.

I also want you to know that I was so selfish to have y'all around with all the fighting with Dave and Jason. There is no excuse for that, and I have matured and changed. I am not the person I was before.

With everything going on in the world right now I wanted you to know how sorry I am. I know I can't change the past but, would do anything to have you apart of my future. I will be here whenever you decide to call, but if that day never comes I respect that, but wanted you to know how much I Love You.

I Am still not a perfect person, nor will I ever be. I Have not drank in over two years. I have not taken pain pills or done drugs in over four years. When I left Dave, Zack and I didn't have much but we made It. I knew it was for the best, and it made us stronger and more humble.

Even on my best days I will fall, but even on my worst days I will never give up on you, or the hope that you will someday forgive me.I promise to always love you no matter what.

Forever In My Heart,

Mom

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About the Creator

Daphne Doss Sutherlun

FeaR IsnT So DifficulT To UnderstanD AfteR All WerenT We All FrightenD as ChildreN

DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR FAITH IN A CAPE AND A HOOD

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