To My Biological Father

Just writing out some feelings towards my biological father and his family.

I was adopted by a loving man when I was three years old but I’ve always had questions about my biological father. I’m very thankful for the father who raised me. I wouldn't be the person today if it wasn't for him.

I figured other people could maybe relate to some of this that’s why I wanted to share it with you all.

Love shouldn’t hurt.

For starters, you’re pretty damn selfish.

How dare you tell me that I owe you anything?

Because I don’t.

I never once did anything but love this idea of you without actually knowing you.

I heard the stories I know you’re just a coward.

All I wanted was to invite you into my little familys life.

And you somehow managed to break your daughters heart again.

I don’t owe you anything.

You and your family could have been there for me instead of just talking down about the family that raised me.

For so many years you lived pretending I don’t exist.

Choosing whatever else fancied your interest rather than your own flesh and blood.

I had a great life thanks for asking.

I don’t care what you’ve “heard” about me.

I’m your child.

I know I love mine unconditionally and without question.

Isn’t that what a real parent does?

I just wanted a relationship where I didn’t have to walk around on eggshells.

“You owe me a relationship.”

No I really don’t.

I was just being kind to you by inviting you into my childrens lives.

I don’t care about whatever surprise is rolled up your sleeve.

You’ve missed how many birthdays, how many Christmases.

You chose not to be there and I could care less about your ego.

You signed those rights away when I was just three years old.

You could have chose me back then but you didn’t.

I’m braver than you, just trust me on that.

“Don’t fuck with my family”

What is that supposed to mean?

The family of drunks?

And what about your brother who stole from the family business I help run?

Was that supposed to be a slap in the face?

You selfish prick.

You could have chose your daughter a long time ago.

Instead you focused on the wrong thing I can assure you of that.

Get your head together and maybe I’ll give you that opportunity again.

Until that day comes I have my little peoples hearts to protect.

You won’t be welcome in my life because of a single nasty voicemail you left on my phone.

After years of no contact and misunderstanding.

Thanks for abandoning your only daughter and choosing to raise other peoples children without caring about her feelings towards that.

I swear to you, I’m more mature than an almost 50 year old man.

Don’t quote Neil Young lyrics while you’re drunk as a feeble attempt to get to know me again when you lost that opportunity a long time ago.

You ruined my day by calling me again.

I’m just sorry I even tried to be in your life.

I had hopes and dreams that you consistently managed to shatter.

Maybe my expectations of our relationship is what got my heart into a mess.

But for now, you’re not welcome in my life.

I’m sorry for that but I have my own children now and their hearts to protect on the matter.

I truly feel bad for you because it’s your loss and not mine.

I hope you see that one day.

I’m just sorry.

Love,

your only child

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹