There are seven reasons why Chinese people are so tired of raising children. How many have you won?

In the past, parents were so busy living that they almost always let their children grow up freely.

Now, several adults revolve around a child, still complaining that it is "too difficult to carry".

At present, Chinese parents are tired of raising children, which is mainly reflected in these seven aspects. Take a look at how many are in your family.

Expect too much of your children.

In most Chinese families with children, children are the center of the center.

Parents revolve around their children all day, planning everything for their children, and this kind of planning, from pregnancy, to the birth of the child, to kindergarten, to primary and secondary school, to college, to work, to marriage, to buying a house, and to having children on their own, almost without a day off.

During this period, there are all kinds of worries, comparisons, choices, entanglements, all kinds of efforts, all kinds of inadequacy, all kinds of hopes, all kinds of frustration, all kinds of dissatisfaction, all kinds of early knowledge of today, all kinds of regrets, often the children are old, and then there are all kinds of expectations for children to repay their parents and be filial to their parents.

After decades of exhaustion, how can we not be tired?

The root cause of such tiredness lies in the fact that parents have high expectations of their children, not only for their own development, but also for their children to repay their parents.

Expectations are so high that it is not only parents but also children who are under great pressure.

But why should we expect so much from our children? isn't it good that he can become an independent, autonomous and happy adult?

If parents can let go of this, put aside all the expectations of their children's external fame and fortune, and care about the inner peace and satisfaction of their children and parents, family education will be much easier.

People other than parents are involved too much.

We might as well make an analogy.

A small family is like a company. Originally, Mom and Dad should be the wholly-owned shareholders and the highest responsible person, and they should have the power to make decisions on various affairs.

However, many families have accepted various "investments" from their elders-- subsidizing the purchase of houses, waiting on Yuezi, helping to take care of children, and so on, so grandmothers, grandfathers, grandparents have more or less ownership of the family because of their "investment." became a "shareholder."

Since they are shareholders, they have to express their opinions and participate in decision-making, and some even require themselves to have a "one-vote veto."

Such a governance structure makes the originally simple family affairs become extremely complicated. As the head of the family, how can the parents not be tired?

To make matters worse, some parents do not even protect the status of the head of the family, and their own family affairs still need to be decided by their own parents, so everyone is even more painstaking and full of contradictions.

The heart of keeping up with the comparison is too heavy.

Other children are in all kinds of tutoring classes. If we don't, will the children lose at the starting line?

Other children are wearing famous brands and big brands. If we don't buy them, will we be laughed at as poor?

Others, others, others.

In the eyes of quite a lot of parents, they see too many other people all the time. What they do and how to do it are often guided by what others do and how to do it.

You have to look at others all the time, and you have to keep up with each other all the time to avoid falling behind. How can you not be anxious and tired?

However, others are others, and we are ourselves. We have our own principles, our own choices and our own ways of behavior. Why should we follow others?

I believe that Mom and Dad can let go of this, and the hard work on the road of education will save a lot.

Meddle too much in children's affairs.

Parents want to do their best to their children, but they often meddle too much in their children's affairs and cultivate children who are unable to make their own decisions from an early age.

When the children go to school, they help carry their school bags and do their homework; when they do their homework, they accompany them and stare at them; what tasks are assigned by the teacher? often, before the children figure out what to do, their parents are desperate to help them finish.

Not to mention watching children eat, dress, take a bath, go to the toilet and so on.

For the children who are "taken care of" in this way, there are almost only two things left in their life: taking classes and attending interest classes. They can not develop the ability to learn independently, nor can they develop the ability to live independently, so their parents have to take care of and wait on them all the time.

Only by cultivating children's autonomy from an early age, including independent life, autonomous learning, independent reading and independent emotion, can parents be truly relaxed.

This is not to be lazy, but to let the child really grow up as an independent individual and become a better person.

Information overload and lack of independent opinions.

Chinese parents are tired of raising their children, in addition to the reasons mentioned above, there is another reason that is not so obvious, but the reason for their existence is that they are exposed to too much information, but lack opinions on how to educate their children.

A lot of time and energy is spent on gathering as much information as possible, and then running around with that information.

We need to do a certain degree of "separation" in the life of family education-we actually don't need that much information, but more importantly, through independent reading and learning, to form our own "opinions"-I know what methods are good. I know what I should do, and I know which methods I should adhere to and which methods should be debugged.

In this way, we do not need to be impacted and submerged by overloaded information, but also can take a simple, effective and constant way, the whole process will be much simpler and easier.

Dad is too little involved.

There is a very sharp saying, called "widowed parenting", which refers to the absence of the father in the growth of the child.

The fact that fathers do not participate in educating their children is entirely a matter for mothers alone. I am afraid it is the norm for many Chinese families, and it is also an important reason why many mothers feel tired of educating their children.

"parents cooperate", not only share the specific work in life, but also discuss the size of the child, reach a consensus, and then put it into action together.

The advantages of doing so are: first, the workload can be reduced through sharing; second, both the child and the parents can establish an intimate relationship; of course, more importantly, the common companionship of the parents will enable the child's psychology and personality to develop more healthily and healthily.

Consumption is not rational enough.

Raising children is the last and most unavoidable reason.