The Woman Who Lived A Thousand Lifetimes

When I say she lived a thousand lifetimes, I don't mean literally but in that small part of my brain where I'm still a little girl on her knee, my grandma has been alive forever. She will continue to live forever long after she is gone from this earth because the truth is, she is an amazing woman!

She would probably say herself that her life has been nothing remarkable, at least on the scale of extraordinary things, but to me she has been and always will be an exceptional woman.

Born in 1935 as the youngest of TEN children, Iris Rose Fox found herself living through one of the worst events in the world's recent history, World War II. Although she was only around four years old when it began and ten when it ended, she still remembers the terror and destruction as well as fun times she had playing around crators left by falling bombs in the field behind her house, long after the war had ended.

Her experiences from the war at such a tender age have followed her through most of her adult life and to this day she is determined that not a single morsel of food be wasted. We would have killed for food like this during the war, you know!

As if living through the war wasn't bad enough, she never got to know her father and her mother died when she was around 19 (or so I remember her telling me).

This culminated in my grandma effectively being orphaned with nowhere to go.

She met my grandad at a local dance and from the way she tells it, they hit it off straight away. In the end, she moved in with my grandad. There was just one condition, they had to get married!

Whether they were in love beforehand or not, my grandma never let on, but at the age of 21 she married the man she would spend the rest of her life with.

They had three children together, two boys and a girl (my mum) and throughout there marriage had two dogs whom I never met but remember fondly through stories told by the whole family and a set of paw prints left in the garden path by one naughty sheltie called Shep.

Throughout my childhood, I remember one thing in particular and that was the close relationship between my grandparents. They did everything together, even travelling to Egypt to ride camels. My grandma was not impressed when one spat green fluid in her face!

I've always strived to have an amazing marriage like that.

Her family home became like a second home to me over the years and every evening after school I'd hurry round to dip biscuits in tea, watch television and listen to her stories. I think she secretly hated my cartoons but she sat through them and my brother and I love her for it!

In 2012 my grandad unfortunately passed after a long battle with dementia and my grandma found herself adrift. She had been married to an amazing man for 56 years, spending every day with him and building a life together. This may have destroyed many a woman but not my grandma. She picked herself up, dusted herself off and continued with a strength that can only be described as superhuman.

She played badminton well into her 80s, travelled around the country with her lifelong friends and always opened up her door whenever her grandchildren needed her.

Unfortunately a few years ago she was diagnosed with lewy body dementia, a nasty form of dementia (they are all horrible but this one even more so) that caused her to have hallucinations and I would be woken up late at night to hear that I was asleep on her sofa and she was scared to sit on me. Of course, I wasn't really there but her mind told her I was. She would see young children running around her living room and play with kittens who weren't really there. It was a horrible experience for the both of us and all the other family members involved but as the super strong woman she is, she continued on, fighting until she could fight no more.

Her amazing stories and the amazing memories she gave us in her home led to my husband and I buying the house from her after she was no longer physically able to live there.

Although she doesn't remember the place anymore and she thinks of her residential building as 'home' I like to think that she would be proud of what we have made of it.

The Fox Den as it is now called in her honour has been in the family since 1961! When my husband decided that he wished to change his surname before we got married (he had the surname of a man who he wasn't even related to but that's a story for another day) we knew right away the name we wished to take. My married surname is a testament to the amazingness of my grandma, Iris Rose Fox!

At the age of 86, she is still fighting and has welcomed 11 great-grandchildren into the world. I like to think she'll still be around when those great-grandchildren have their own children but we both know that's wishful thinking.

In a way she will be though because my daughter and step daughter will be told all the stories of the wonderful woman whose house we now live in!

If she could read a letter right now I'd tell her:

Dear Grandma,

You've put up with a lot over the years but I'm so glad you did. I aspire to be even half the woman you are and if I manage that I'll be a very proud woman.

Thank you for always being my safe haven in times of need and teaching me to love myself even when I felt the world was against me.

Thank you for all the amazing memories of holidays at the beach and playing badminton in the garden on summer days.

Thank you for birthing my mother so that she could give life to me because the truth is, I've had an amazing life, thanks to you!

I'll love you always and even long after you're gone you'll live on in the memories and stories of all whose lives you have touched.

You are a truly amazing woman and I try every day to be a woman you'd be proud to call your granddaughter.

I wish I could keep you here forever so that my children could learn from such an exceptional woman but I know it will be time for you to leave us soon. When that day comes the world will be a much darker place but I'll have my memories to light the way.

Love from

Your favourite grandchild

Katherine

P.s. We both know that last part is true but don't worry. I won't tell the others.

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