The Twilight Angel

The first thing I really remember embroidering for my grandmother is a cross-stitch scene of a sparrow sitting on a branch surrounded by pink flowers. I’m sure she came to be in possession of one of my childhood attempts that consisted of a mishmash of straight stitches in various lengths and colors on a tiny wooden hoop, but this was the first real work that I made just for her. I chose the pattern at the needlework store because it was cute, nature-themed and -most importantly- small and only required the relatively easy cross stitch. I worked on it periodically, during homework breaks or while I was half- paying attention to something on TV. When it was done I proudly framed it and mailed it to her house on the prairies, 1700 miles away. In a few weeks I received a letter thanking me in her perfect cursive hand, telling me what a sweet surprise it was and how pleased she was that I had picked up the hobby again.

A couple years later when I visited her in the assisted living home she had begrudgingly moved to, I was honored to find that the sparrow had been given pride of place, displayed in the little living area on an antique doily between photos of her many grandchildren. I was so touched and proud to know that she had brought it with her to remind her of me, to help make her unfriendly new space feel like the beloved home she had built with her late husband and had to leave behind. I think traditional art and craft forms like needlework can really foster connections between generations of women. I learned it from my mother, who in turn learned from my grandmother when she was a child and so on, going back centuries. While I sit and stitch I love to think that I'm emulating my ancestors and all the women through history who took thread to cloth to express themselves.

Last April she had to spend a month in the hospital before moving again, to a long-term care facility. Not being able to be with her due to the global pandemic was scary and heart wrenching for our entire family. I felt distinctly helpless, stuck at home in my city while she was surrounded by strangers and brought to yet another new and unfamiliar place she had to call home. Thinking of the nursing staff moving her in and setting up her new room gave me the idea to make a new needlework piece for her. This time I wanted something intricate and fancy, both to make use of the new skills I had developed and hopefully to really impress her.

My grandmother has always loved angels. Stained glass angels glimmer as they hang in the windows of her farmhouse, porcelain and wooden angels play trumpets and wrap their wings protectively on end tables and in the china cabinet, and tempera angels swoop delicately from the clouds in paintings on the walls. Deciding on finding an angel pattern was pretty easy… and of course the ‘guardian angel’ symbolism felt pretty appropriate given the circumstances. I found a kit online for a ‘Twilight Angel’ who rises through the stars bearing the moon on a golden chain. She was perfect!

Once the kit arrived I got to work, beginning with her periwinkle blue cloak. I started with the base layer of cross stitches, carefully pulling the thread through, keeping it detangled and snipping the ends off with the little needlework scissors that look like they’re made for dolls. I learned pretty early not to use full size scissors at risk of accidentally cutting other stitches out or even worse, the fabric itself. I must have gone through a whole pack’s worth of needles too. I’m a master at losing needles; sticking them in a couch cushion or stray tea towel only to forget where, dropping them onto the floor where they seem to disappear from material reality or at least once pulling them through a densely- stitched area and bending them irreparably. I also had to make more than one extra thread order when I used up all of a color provided with the kit but had to redo the stitches and needed more… I guess they don’t account for many mistakes. I laid down all the cross stitches that make up the bulk of the figure, then outlined everything in matte and metallic back stitches over top. Finally, the fun part: the sequins and charms! In the night sky around the angel are gold beads and star-shaped sequins, and threaded through both her hands is a ‘rope’ of twisted gold thread ending with a star-shaped bead in one hand and a moon in the other, held up above her head. I was so pleased with how she turned out!

The final step on my end was framing her and shipping her out. The finished work is still in transit, and I’m eagerly awaiting its arrival. I think of all the time I spent making her as time spent trying to express my care and concern for my grandmother, putting my love and my dedication to her into every stitch. She’s still in transit, and I’m eagerly awaiting her arrival. My grandmother might not understand or remember for long when I tell her over the phone how much she means to me and how much I miss here, but I know that it will come through in the needlework by her bedside, the angel looking down on both of us from the moonlit sky.