The Secret Life of a SAHM

It’s a piece of cake! That’s what they think when they hear you are a stay at home mom. I must admit that’s what I thought before I was a mom. Little did I know how much of myself I would put into being a stay at home mom.

The decision wasn’t made lightly, the decision to become a stay-at-home mom was really out of necessity. The year I became a SAHM was a rough one. My oldest child was going through testing on his immune system. He was constantly sick, therefore I was constantly calling out of work. My paycheck was hurting and it was becoming more and more clear that it wasn’t going to change any time soon. I didn’t see how it would be possible for me not to work so we continued on the trail we were on.

A few months into the struggle of juggling a sickly child and a job that was losing patience with the situation we found out I was pregnant with our third child. We were surprised, happy and extremely nervous. Once it was made clear that the job wasn’t going to work between a sickly child and a pregnancy I left. I stepped out on faith and didn’t look back. We struggled for a while, I won’t lie, but I knew it is where we needed to be. Then the diagnosis came. My son had a compromised immune system. He is unable to build immunity to anything. We were told to keep him healthy, we would have to completely change how we did things. No crowds, at family events if people were sick we had to leave, we had to be strict for a while because he had been so sick for so long. They said best case scenario he would be able to build immunity as he got older, worse case scenario he would be put on weekly shots for the rest of his life. After doing a lot of research and endless hours of praying and worrying we decided to start our homeschool journey.

Things fell into place, we found our rhythm, things started to run a little more smoothly. I delivered our third child. We were a family of five and things were crazy! Keeping up with housework, laundry, cooking, homeschool lessons, 3 amazing yet crazy kids... it was not at all what I imagined. I felt like I was failing in every aspect of life. Was this what being a SAHM was going to be like? Was I just not made out to be at home?

Drowning. That’s what I felt like. I was drowning in motherhood. It was stressful. I couldn’t be the Pinterest mom that I had always envisioned for myself. My first problem was losing myself. I didn’t do things for myself anymore... I was a mombot... going through the motions of life but not living it. I had to find myself before I could be the mom I wanted to be. Once I dug myself out of the hole I was in, I figured out a routine that worked for me . This was the second mistake I made in the beginning. I didn’t have a schedule therefore I became overwhelmed and stressed over the list of things I felt I needed to do. A routine solved this problem. I had a schedule of chores to do on different days as well as daily routines and schedules for myself and my kids. I was starting to get the hang of it.

Once I finally realized where I went wrong I was able to correct it and change things for the better. Things are far from a piece of cake but they are enjoyable now! I may not be the Pinterest mom I envisioned originally but I am getting there. We have been homeschooling for over a year now and it’s an amazing journey. There is never a dull moment with three little ones running around and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.