The Middle Child

With the Internet as it is right now, you can easily find answers to almost everything. And so I stumbled upon comments and articles where people shared their stories of being treated unfairly by their parents as they are the middle child.

My brain wanted to deem it as a coincidence. But there were far too many stories to call it a coincidence. Not just that, after being made aware of it thanks to the Internet, I had to realize in a slow and painful way that I, too, was treated the same as them.

Yeah. I am the middle child. Well, technically I am the 2nd child amongst my 4 siblings. But bare with me.

Mother and Father got married and had my eldest sister and me. Both then got divorced. Father remarried with Step-Mother and they had a kid together. On the other hand, Mother remarried as well and had 2 more kids. And so I have 4 four siblings.

But then, Mother and Step-Father got divorced and both had custody of each kid; the older one went with Step-Father and the younger one went with Mother. Got out of reach with Step-Father's side of the family as we left things on bad terms. So we could not bond with their older child that much.

That left with my eldest sister and my father's child, and my mother's youngest child. Both are younger than me. And so when I am at my mother's home, I am the middle one. When I am at my father's home, I am the middle one once again.

The things that I wished were not real slowly revealed themselves to me. As both of my parents paid more attention to their two children and not me. The times when I would realize that my parents were not paying attention to me hurts me a little every time. Well, that was a lie, it hurt me a lot.

I can recall the number of times I was brought to the doctors by my parents when I got injured—that equals to zero. I can still remember that I had once bled quite badly but my mother did not bat an eye. There were also times when I sprained my ankle and my wrist, but neither of my parents were worried enough to bring me to the doctors.

I slowly and silently recovered at home, though I still have a bit of pain in both places till now. But when my eldest got injured slightly, Father was quick enough to book an appointment with the doctors. Guess my pain didn't matter to them.

When I wanted something, Mother would make a promise with me, only to break it later on and say that she doesn't remember doing that. Father, on the other hand, would make up excuses. I wanted a camera, he told me to focus on something else. I wanted a laptop, he never bothered to reply my messages. I wanted a bed for me to sleep easily in, he told me he doesn't want to buy it.

When Mother's youngest child wants something, she gets it in less than a month. All my life, I have only received one phone from my mother. But she has already given 5 phones to the youngest till today. When my eldest sister wanted a camera, Father bought it online in an instant. When she wanted a new phone, Father gave it to her as a birthday present.

But what did I get for my birthday? Nothing. Not a single present from my father nor my mother.

The achievements that I have made, are completely forgotten by my parents. The achievements that my siblings have made, are celebrated happily with dinners and drinks.

What went wrong? Was it my fault to be the middle child in both of my families? Was it my fault to be born as the second child? I feel so lost and alone.

Mother remembers every little things about the eldest and youngest. But doesn't even remember my favourite colour. It's even a colour that I have always loved ever since young. What hurts me the most is when Mother doesn't seem to care to remember what food I can and can't eat.

I am allergic to squid. But somehow, my mother would cook squid at least once a week. Way too many times for me to keep count. I couldn't even get mad at her as I had gotten so tired of dealing with it.

When I tell my father that I am searching for something that I want to purchase, he would just nod and ignore after that. But when my eldest sister shares that she wants to buy something, Father will pay for it in a heartbeat.

It pains me deep down to see how unfair I am being treated. But if I bring this up with my family, I know the reactions that I want from them will not be what I would get. There's nothing I could do but to accept it. Accept the fact that both my parents favors their eldest and youngest more.

I love my siblings. I really do. But I hate to watch from the side as they receive love and support from Mother and Father while I get none of that. I just don't understand how I deserve to be treated this way. I don't get why my parents are treating me like this.

Somewhere, deep down, a part of me wants to scream at them. Let them know my pain of being unseen. Let them know that I hate being treated differently. I want to pour out all of my pain and sufferings for them to see.

I want them to know my real feelings. I want them to understand how I feel. I want them to know that I feel this way. I want them to just... look at me.

Is that too much to ask for from my parents?