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The Kulture of Reality Television

"[Our parents] had arranged marriages. We had arranged friendships.”

By Kranthi_ReddyPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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The infamous line that caught my attention. Family Karma has all the same drama as any other reality show but as an Indian-American viewer, it was an out of body experience, at times.

I can remember when I watched my first television show that starred someone who was Indian-American. It wasn’t a fill in character or a minor character but it was someone who not only looked like me but their family traditions, customs, and ways of thinking were similar.

For those who don’t know about the show Family Karma, let me briefly explain. It’s a reality television show on Bravo that encompasses the lives of several wealthy Indian-American families whom live in Miami, Florida.

The wealth and drama isn’t what gave me this outer body experience but it’s the characters on the show itself and how they try to divide the concept of generational divides and trauma.

Let’s start with the aunties and uncles. To start, being an Indian-American myself it can be a tug a war between two cultures. For example, one culture often teaches us that one small mistake can dishonor our families forever, whilst the other culture encourages risk taking. One culture often teaches us to prioritize the family unit, whilst the other culture advocates prioritizing the individual. One culture can tell us to marry for family honor, whilst the other culture teaches us to put love above all else. Now, if you are anything like myself, you can relate to this and know what it’s like to feel torn between two cultures…or just have felt judged.

Now what got me so hooked on this show wasn’t the drama between the aunties and the families, or the thrill of watching their wealthy lifestyles. (There is a family who calls their home property, a compound..a COMPOUND!) Anyway, the warmth between the families and more importantly between their friendships, is apart of what got me so hooked.

One of the show’s central storylines features a gay wedding proposal. To catch you all up, lets discuss a specific family on the show, the Kapai’s. Amrit Kapai whom is the gay son, and Lavina and Suresh whom are his parents. Amrit is in a serious relationship with a guy named Nicholas, keep in mind Amrit has been open about his sexuality and came out to his parents in his 20’s. His parents are not only accepting of his relationship but they continue to devote complete and utter devotion onto him for simply being a wonderful son. It’s something that is easily overlooked in a community, where your reputation and stature as a family is constantly up for discussion. You can tell his parents had to go through their own emotional journeys and have since come to be accepting of his queerness and relationship with Nicholas. However on an episode where Amrit expresses to his parents him wanting to propose to Nicholas, his mother especially had a bit of hesitation before giving her blessings. She doesn’t react the same way she had when her older son was to be engaged to his now wife.

Most reality shows do NOT feature moments where people posses self-awareness— to put it lightly. Yet here, Lavina recognizes, acknowledges, and tries to work through her feelings in a productive and meaningful way. This culminates with a strikingly honest scene between her and Suresh in a parked car, where she started off by telling him there was something weighing heavy on her heart. She was upset she hadn’t felt the same excited ness she had when her first son announced his engagement to a woman. What was intriguing, was the open and honest discussion of what Desi parents deal with when it comes to the lifestyle of some of the current and possibly future generations to come. It’s simultaneously sad and hopeful, but a powerful sentiment to the generational trauma’s and divides that a lot of Indian-American young adults face today.

Overall this show does a great job of portraying what it feels like to be the “black sheep” in a family where being authentic was a struggle because so many of us were raised to worry about what others think, or taught to make choices based on what is acceptable to others. Rather this show is almost a testament of what being encouraged by those we love, does to let our interests, needs, and desires grow, since confidence and security are the foundations of authenticity.

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Kranthi_Reddy

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