The heartfelt words of two married men: no matter how much my wife gives, I will not be grateful, because …...

One spring a few years ago, Dangdang and I signed up for a tour to Yandang Mountain in Wenzhou.

Our group is not too small, 25 people, mainly family and friends.

When passing through a mountain spring, the guide told us that the water quality here is the best in Yandang Mountain and can be drunk directly as mineral water. if it is used to wash your face, it is the best cosmetics.

So, without saying a word, we poured out the water in the bottle and went down to fill it.

When you go down to water, you must take off your shoes and socks to avoid getting wet.

One of the men didn't take off the trouble. When he finished filling the water, his shoes and socks were wet to varying degrees.

Back at the hotel, he naturally said to his wife, "wash my socks later."

His wife said angrily, "I told you to take it off, but you won't listen. Now I have to wash it when it's wet. Do you think it's easy to come out? who's not tired to walk so much after a day?"

……

His wife complained a lot, and when he heard this, he hurriedly said, "all right, can't I wash it myself?"

But his wife complained and said, "here, I didn't say I wouldn't wash it for you."

The man said, "forget it. I'll wash it myself."

The woman was not happy: "you are really such a person, you are hypocritical after washing you."

Dangdang secretly pointed at the woman and said to me, "Oh, it's terrible to have a bad mouth. I don't do less, but it's not good, but it's bad on my mouth."

You don't have to do it, but don't say it, do it and say it again and again, it's nothing.

I think of a relative.

The person is very capable and quick to do things, and from the point of view of giving, she can also be regarded as virtuous. At least she will never lose to others for her husband and children.

But her husband and children were dissatisfied with her almost to the extreme.

We went to her house and saw with our own eyes how she obliterated all her efforts.

It was morning, and her son had just got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. She went in every ten minutes, and then I heard this conversation.

She said, "how old are you to throw the towel in the pool after washing your face? I must have done something wrong in my previous life. God sent you to take care of me."

Her son countered: "I used to hang it every time, but you either think my twist is too dry or too wet, no matter what is wrong, then I might as well throw it away!"

Then she began to chatter all the way for more than ten minutes, which made me a little impatient.

Her son couldn't stand it any longer and shouted, "Don't bother, I'll twist it again."

But she snatched the towel, wrung it out and hung it up herself, and said as she walked along, "if you do a good job, will I say to you? breakfast is ready. Go and eat!"

Her son gave her a white look, turned into the room and slammed the door. She talked about it for a long time.

At noon, she left everyone for lunch and made a table full of dishes, which was a wonderful thing.

But she spent the whole meal saying:

"who is more miserable than me? I have to go to work every day and do housework when I get home. No one gives me a hand. This big and small is the master and the young master. I have to wait on them after I finish my work every day. No one loves me, no one regrets me. "

Her husband could not listen to the excuse: "how come no one loves you and helps you with housework every time, but I have already told you that if you don't want to do it, you can quit, but don't count it every day."

As soon as she heard her husband dare to argue, she immediately stared: "how dare you say that what you do is called housework? it's not enough to help me."

We really had indigestion at that meal.

Her life is basically to serve her husband and son, and then complain that her husband and son make her so tired.

Over the years, my husband and son were so bored with her that they were not grateful to her at all. Some of them were so bored that they didn't even want to talk to her.

This is a new dissatisfaction with her, and her life has almost formed a vicious circle.

Sometimes, I would say, "since you are doing it so reluctantly, you might as well not do it at all."

She would choke back immediately: "it's easy for you to say," if you don't do it, I'll do it. "

So, I stopped and thought to myself, "it's not difficult to understand what your husband and son did to you."

A few years ago, I came into contact with a female reader who had similar problems.

She said that she waited on her husband and children from morning till night, but no one thanked herself, as if all her efforts were taken for granted.

At first, I thought her husband and child were very ungrateful, but as the communication went on, I realized that this was not the case.

But in the process of giving, she wiped out all her efforts with her own words.

At that time, I advised her, "I've done it anyway, so there's no need to say these heart-blocking words. I think if you don't say these words, maybe they will change too."

She turned a deaf ear and said excitedly, "I work hard every day, and I am as tired as a cow. Am I not even qualified to speak? I not only have to do it, but also coax them. There is no such reason in the world."

I tried to persuade her again, but she was quite stubborn, thinking that her tone could only improve if her husband and child changed their attitude towards her first. I sighed and stopped trying.

There is a kind of woman around us:

They do a lot of work, they are kind-hearted, and they always play a giving role in interpersonal relationships.

But their goodness is seldom remembered or even rejected by the people around them.

There is no other reason, but the fault lies in the mouth.

And quite stubborn, think that they have paid so much, can't you complain?

Rarely can listen to the advice of others, stubbornly live in their own thinking, the more you give, the more you complain, the more you are disliked.

They are aggrieved, they are angry, they expect to be affirmed and praised, but express their needs in a completely opposite way.

The people around them are getting farther and farther away from them, unwilling to talk to them, unwilling to communicate with them, and even unwilling to listen to them.

As a result, they are even more aggrieved and angry, and gradually turn themselves into a resentful hedgehog.

My mother used to have this problem. Every time I went home and changed my clothes, my mother would wash them and start nagging: "you are so grown up, you need me to do the laundry." when will I wait on you? when will I wash your clothes with you when you get married? "

Every time I hear such words, I will be very upset, immediately begged for mercy and said: "you put it first, I will wash it myself, just please don't read it."

But she absolutely won't leave it. You must wash it for her. Once, when she repeated the same words, I asked her, "Mom, what exactly are you trying to say? if you don't want to wash, leave it. If you are willing to wash, then why do you have to say that?"

She was stupefied for a moment and replied, "I'm used to it."

I said very seriously, "even if you don't do it, I'm an adult and no one will blame you, but you do it and say that what we hear is your reluctance."

You dislike our existence, and then we only remember your complaints and dislike, not your efforts. Those who do and talk are the stupidest.

This remark touched my mother so much that she gradually changed the habit. Occasionally, when she was about to make an old mistake, I would pick my eyebrows and remind her, "you forgot again."

Later, as I grew older, I gradually understood their psychology.

People who express their tiredness every day are not confident in their hearts, hoping to show that they are tired and that they want others to remember their efforts.

So, I used the stupidest way to express it, but in the other person's ear, the first reaction was:

She doesn't like to