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The Good Ol' Days

Leading in Love

By Sissi SmithPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 4 min read
2

As I come to the end of the fourth decade of my journey on this planet, I often find myself reflecting on everything that has led me to this point in life. I have much to be grateful for, but one thing that stands out to me is how fortunate I have been to have such an abundance of positive male figures in my life. Along with my father being a huge part of my upbringing, I also had the presence of my mom's father and step-dad and her grandfather, though he passed on early in my childhood. These were all wonderful men who brought a lot of attributes that shaped my values, but that man who most influenced my personal growth was my dad's step-father, Jodie... or "Grampa" as I would call him. I never got to know my dad's father, as he passed on and my grandmother remarried long before I was born. As nice as it would have been to know my biological grandfather, I do think that the powers that be somehow knew how much I needed someone like this man in my life.

He was simple at heart. He would often tell us how he only made it to the 8th grade before leaving school to work on his family's farm deep in the heart of Alabama. I remember being fascinated as a girl when he would regale us with tales of sloppin' the hogs or drivin' the mule. It seemed like a life so far removed from what I knew that I could scarcely imagine what it must have been like and was always deeply entranced by these stories. Though he was deeply devoted to his religious roots and lived his life as such, he was not one to impose his moral compass onto others and was simply kind to everyone he encountered. This was one of the traits I admired most about him if I'm being honest. It seemed such a rare quality.

Though I can't claim to be a religious person now, one of our weekly rituals well into my teen years was me accompanying him to church on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. No one else in the family really attended outside of special occasions, so for the most part it was just us. Sunday mornings, specifically, I really enjoyed as we would always go grab lunch after the big service let out. We would catch up on what I was doing in school and what kind of wood-working or craft projects he had going on, and of course there would be tales about the good ol' days sprinkled in. Then we would go back and sit with Grandma to watch a baseball game or whatever lazy Sunday activity we felt like devoting the day to. These are some of my fondest memories looking back, and ones I truly regret not appreciating more.

Aside from his kindness, I remember his work ethic. Though he had retired when I was very small, he continued to work out in his workshop or volunteer to lend a hand around the community whenever his specific skills were needed. If he didn't have the skills himself, then by golly he was going to find and recruit someone who did. There was much I admired in watching him serve others, though at the time I can't say I really understood the concept or the value in his acts of service like I do looking back now.

He was generous to a fault, really. No one would ever be in want, let alone need, in his presence. I still chuckle thinking back to a time when my grandparents were watching me after school. In my own household, whenever my mom would run to the store she would ask my dad if he needed anything and the response was usually "surprise me", which meant to bring him back some little treat like a candy bar or something. So one day, when my grandfather had to run to Wal Mart while I stayed with Grandma, he asked if we needed anything and I mirrored the response I had seen so many times from my father. This man didn't come home with a sweet treat but instead had a Teen Sweetheart Skipper in his shopping bag for me. That wasn't just some generic doll, that was one of the "must haves" of the day. As tickled as I was, I learned not to tell him to surprise me anymore lest I be spoiled rotten, though really I suppose that's what grandparents do no matter what.

As I grew older and became busy with work, marriage, parenthood, and eventual divorce (and all the yucky stuff that comes with that), the visits became less frequent. I would stop by when I could muster the time or energy, but for the most part life kept me spiraling and focused on so many things that I wish hadn't mattered as much now. When I sit here thinking back on all the wasted time I could have spent with loved ones if I had known the things I know now, there are certainly things I would have done differently but sadly that is not how time works. Instead, what I am left with are memories of one of the most valuable role models in my life and hopes that he is somehow seeing how I have grown in recent years and it makes him proud. He left behind a beautiful legacy through his kids, step-kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids and I am certain that none of our lives would have been as rich had we never been blessed to know him.

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About the Creator

Sissi Smith

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Michelle * Mike * Rick * Dharrsheena * Babs * Keila * Cathy * Jason * Joe * Dawn

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran2 years ago

    This had so many emotions to it

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