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The difference between the old man and mom and dad when picking up the baby

Is carrying your child's school bag necessarily spoiling them? Not necessarily

By Sal ToriPublished about a year ago 6 min read
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Soon after the start of the new semester, every day when picking up and dropping off children, I found an interesting phenomenon in front of the school.

As long as the grandparent's grandma and grandpa pick up the child, after picking up the child, will be very natural to take the child's school bag from the child's hands and carry it on their shoulders.

Go to school

And pick up the child's mother and father, after picking up the child, or directly pull on the child, or parents in front of the walk, the child followed behind, school bags are often also carried on the back of the child.

The behavior of the old man carrying the school bag for the child is accused by many people, carrying the school bag for the child is spoiling the child

Many people criticize the phenomenon of the elderly carrying school bag for their children, believing that even a school bag is carried for the child, which is a manifestation of coddling children.

In the children's education program "Dear Little Desk", parenting expert Zhang Min once expressed his views on this issue as well. He believes that if you love your child, please return the schoolbag to your child.

The Hong Kong Polytechnic University has done a study, on the weight of a child's schoolbag, more than fifteen percent of body weight, more than twenty minutes of continuous carrying, before the child's spine development may be affected.

Ye Xix proposed that Samson's schoolbag in addition to books, there are computers, cups, and sometimes clothes and shoes, simply like a suitcase, indeed very heavy.

Zhang Min said that the heavy school bag is not to help children carry, but to find ways to make the weight of the school bag light down. For example, let children learn to organize their school bags, school bags only contain the books needed for the next day's class, rather than carrying the unneeded every day to carry around.

As a mother, I also carry my child's school bag after school

In fact, as a mother, I carry my child's school bag, in many groups of young parents, which is not an exception. When picking up Noble from school, I can also see several mothers carrying their children's school bags.

Although experts have scientific research and basis, from the heart, I still feel that the child's school bag is too heavy. Whenever I lift my child's school bag, I feel my arms sink hard.

At Noble's school, the schoolwork is not heavy, but the curriculum is much more varied than in many other schools. Writing and drawing, handicrafts, clay modeling, labor, music, and other courses, bring a lot of tools.

Noble organizes his school bag every night, putting in the books he needs for the next day and taking out the textbooks he doesn't use. Therefore, every day, the school bag contains all the books and tools that Nobuo must use the next day.

In the early fall, the weather is cool in the morning and hot in the afternoon. When the children come out of the school gate, most of the scene is like this: jacket draped on the shoulders, water bottle hanging around the neck, carrying a half-high mouth organ in the hands, back backpack.

What parent would not take one or two things from their child's hand when they see them? Not to mention the child, even if you see a family member or friend with so many things, you have to hurry to take one or two things to ease the burden of others!

I don't think this is spoiling the child, but rather that this is just a normal expression of love for the child.

On the contrary, when I see some parents see their children come out sweating and draped all over, and the parents just walk in front of them, while the children are struggling to follow behind, I would mutter in my heart: What kind of parents are these?

Relationship inequality and double standards should not occur in the parent-child relationship

Noble is in the second grade, and for the past year, it has become customary for me to carry Noble's school bag every day when I pick her up. But I'm not anxious because it has also become customary for Noble to carry my groceries or pick up the delivery.

Every time we go to the supermarket, or the neighborhood vegetable market after buying food, I carry the key bags, Noble carries lighter bags, this has become our daily routine.

Sometimes to the courier station to get the courier, I do not want to go in, let Noble go in to get the courier for me, which is also a common thing in our life.

I carry my child's school bag, in the strict sense, is I for her "package", but, Noble for me to carry the bag, take the courier, and why is not for me "package"?

Parents can't be called "do-it-for-you" for their children's school bags, children do something their parents are supposed to. Relationship inequality and double standards, which we usually abhor in life, should also not appear in the parent-child relationship.

Helping each other is a traditional virtue of our Chinese people, and this virtue is not only applied among classmates and friends, but also to family members.

In such a mutually supportive relationship, parents' fears that the lack of independent living skills caused by spoiling do not often appear.

The essence of not carrying your child's backpack is to foster independence.

At the time I was watching the program "Dear Little Desk", because Noble was still in kindergarten, I did not have much empathy for the words of the experts.

I just start from the theory with the reality, I feel that the expert's words are just to let people understand that children's independence is very important, parents should not do everything for their children, which will make children lose their independence in life and will.

This is a superficial and trivial matter that is not worth discussing or even causes a war of words about whether or not the child should carry the school bag.

If the child is very independent, what if you carry the child's backpack? It doesn't affect the child at all. If you do everything for your child in other places and don't let your child have a choice, even if you don't carry your child's school bag after school, it doesn't change the fact that you are "doing it".

I can't say that the logic of this reasoning is wrong, because I can see the essence of the elderly's love for their children from the phenomenon of carrying their school bags for them.

However, at least in the process of reasoning, the arguments are not sufficient.

Or, to see the essence through the phenomenon, but it depends on which essence you are looking at.

From the superficial phenomenon of carrying your child's school bag, you can realize that you can't do everything for your child, you know how to respect your child's opinions and ideas, and you can cultivate your child's independent living ability and independent will, which, I think, should be the real essence.

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About the Creator

Sal Tori

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one has learned in school.

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