The Cost Of Separation: When Parents Migrate And Children Stay In Venezuela

Emigrating is hard, especially leaving loved ones. Those who stay also suffer a "mourning", especially difficult if they are children or teenagers who are separated from one or both parents for a time, sometimes uncertain, while they go abroad, stabilize and make a plan to reunite.

The Community Learning Centre (Cecodap) described this phenomenon as "Childhood left behind", since it is not they who migrate but their families, leaving them in the care of others.

The situation, warned the organization's psychologist and psychoanalyst Abel Saraiba, is delicate because "there is an experience of abandonment by the child" of one or both parents.

The specialist explained that children can feel fear and anxiety, not only because of the loss of this close affection and not being able to communicate as they used to, but also because of the fear of not seeing their parents again and staying in the country with the problems they are going through.

The Cost Of Separation: When Parents Migrate And Children Stay In Venezuela

Saraiba said this is compounded by what it means for the child to be in someone else's care.

She noted that there are risks that the care offered may not be what the parents planned or that there may be mismanagement of the money the parents send for their children.

Even so, under the best scenario, the children may have feelings of stress, fear or anger.

As a thermometer of this phenomenon, the psychologist from Cecodap stated that this is an increasing reason for consultation in the psychological care service they provide, where they also identify family members who are not in a position to assume the care and still end up raising the children and young people.

She suggests that the caregiver be honest about his or her abilities and build a support network. With older people, generation gaps can lead to conflict.

"The reasons why parents can make these decisions are understandable, but it is important to know the implications and what a child will require. If not, the suffering can be significant. The separation should be as short as possible," she said.

How to handle it

Saraiba believes that it may be helpful for children who are experiencing 'Childhood Left Behind' to receive psychological support, and she does not rule out the possibility that this may continue even after they are reunited with their families.

She stressed that in order to avoid the deterioration of the relationship between parents and children, it is necessary not to create false expectations about the dates of the reunion or to make promises that will not be fulfilled. On the contrary, trust must be strengthened.

"We have to work on how to fill the gaps and the lack of accompaniment at key moments," she said. Reactions and needs will depend on the stages of development.

First months and years of life

An infant or young child needs attachment, containment and closeness. They must be guaranteed these things, transmit affection by words and actions, and above all offer him security.

School age

At this stage children may have difficulty expressing themselves and it is the duty of the adult in charge to help them recognize how they feel.

He or she may sometimes prefer not to communicate with the parents because this "updates" the pain he or she is experiencing and does not know how to handle.

They may experience mood swings and irritability. It is important to offer honest information about the situation.

Teenagers

The foster caregiver needs to be an authoritative reference for the teenager, otherwise the young person may challenge him or her when setting limits and rules.

Care must also be taken to ensure that there is an affinity with the adult, but that he or she does not become complacent.

If the teenager is affected, his or her academic performance may drop and sometimes they may not want to establish communication with the person who left.

She recommended that when parents talk to them they should be prepared for greater complaints, since they are more aware of the situation in Venezuela.