The Book Barn

My love of books started when I was very young. I would read everything, cereal boxes, newspapers, greeting cards...it didn't matter, I just loved to read any and everything. I loved words and learning what they meant when they were strewn together on pages telling a story, or describing anything. My life wasn't great so I ended up in foster homes most of it, but I got lucky with one home I landed in when I was eleven years old. The family I was placed with Sean and Dorris Lastnameforgotten, went to Seattle Washington every year for the summer. I was lucky enough to be placed in thier home 3 months before summer came, so I got to go on this magnificent trip with them.

I was so excited about going on a trip since I had never been on a "family" vacation. They sent me to a neighbors house to attend a birthday party that day and they stayed at home to nap for the drive that night. We were packed and on the road by midnight. I asked why we were going in the middle of the night, and Dorris told me that Sean liked to drive at night to miss traffic. It took about 7 hours to get there, and I slept in the car that night comfortably, as they made sure to bring enough blankets and pillows so I could stretch out on the backseat. I loved sleeping while moving, something about the movement and the engine running that just put me under like Sleepytime tea. I was awakened in the morning for breakfast, we had arrived at Aunt Lucy and Uncle Jims by 8 a.m. just in time for breakfast! The house was really something, it was huge, and it looked like an old southern two story house with a porch that wrapped around the entire house, it was white with plantation shutters on each of the huge victorian windows that were all opened daily to let the sunshine in and there was a large red barn behind it that took roughly 10 mins to get to on foot. I felt like I was dreaming, like this wasn't actually happening, but it definitely was happening, and for the first time, I felt normal.

I came down a very large staircase that wound down into a large foyer, and if I turned to the right I would go into a large kitchen, if I turned to the left, I would go out the large front door. If I went straight ahead through the two large doors it was a very elaborate living room or what they called the Parlor. They were originally from the south, so these were southern terms they used, like calling the huge wrap around porch the veranda. I loved their accent or southern drawl as it was called. After a lovely breakfast of ham and eggs with grits, plus fresh squeezed orange juice, we went outside to the veranda where there were tables and chairs to sit and visit at. Everything was white and so clean looking, I was looking around taking it all in when I saw the big red barn behind the house that was closed up and a board was nailed up across the doors with "KEEP OUT, PRIVATE" painted in large letters across the board. While the adults were talking I became curious so I decided to walk back to the barn and have a closer look. As I got to the door I could see there was a large space between the two doors and I could see in enough to see what looked like hundreds of books on the wall, so I got closer and put my eye up to the space to see better and all of a sudden I hear someone scream in a very loud voice "YOUNG LADY, GET AWAY FROM THERE RIGHT NOW YA HERE"! I jumped back at least 3 feet and thought I my heart would jump out of my chest! I barely turned around and the entire entourage was marching up to me, and Aunt Lucy was madder than a wet hen! "What are you doing young lady? can you read"? she asked in a very matter of fact tone, I replied; "yes ma'am, I wasn't going to go inside, I was just curious, I'm sorry"! she said "curosity killed the cat, so get away from there, private means exactly that, PRIVATE"! as she pointed to the house and ordered me to "march"! I didn't understand why, but I did understand that I broke a rule and that was unacceptable to my foster parents. I was sent to my room for a couple of hours to "think about what I had done" and when I could sincerily apologize and tell them why I was wrong, then I could come down. I waited a couple of hours then I went down and stood in the door of the foyer and waited to be called over. Aunt Lucy called me over to her, gave me a big smile and said "come here child, Aunt Lucy shouldn't have lost her temper, she is very sorry, do you forgive me"? I smiled back and nodded yes, she then explained choking back tears, that the reason why that barn was off limits was because they once had a young son who disobeyed her order to stay out of the barn unless she accompanied him and he didn't mind her, he ended up climbing where he shouldn't have climbed and fell to his death. He was only 9 years old, and it "broke her heart into pieces" as she put it. He had died some 5 years earlier and that barn has been nailed shut since. The adults spent the day and evening chatting, drinking wine, and laughing. I was sent to the parlor to watch television until bedtime, which was a bit boring so I snuck out to the door and cracked it so I could listen to the adults conversation, where I learned a bit more about "Calvin" thier son.

Apparently he loved to read, and that is why I saw so many books in the barn. Aunt Lucy was a grade school teacher and worked for the Seattle school district for 7 years before he died, so she was going to home school him and they had the barn made into a makeshift classroom so she could teach him herself because she didn't appreciate the school system's way of teaching. She thought all the schools were more interested in how much money they could get from making sure they followed strict academic guidlines to ensure the children had the highest possible test scores, otherwise the state would cut off funding to the schools. She was talking about how the states were putting the kids through rigorous testing periods every 4 weeks to ensure they would pass, which put her and all the teachers under alot of stress to come up with a teaching criteria that would all but guarantee the children would pass. She also explained that teachers were being pressured on a weekly basis, she also mentioned that the principal was calling them in every week and "reminding" them how important it was to make sure the teachers were always prepping them for the test. Aunt Lucy was crying at this point and said "I simply couldn't take another second of it, so I left that day and I never went back, and I learned 4 others did the same thing"! They all started consoling her, and Dorris decided it was my bedtime and got up to come in and put me to bed, so I scurried back to the living room and pretended to be asleep on the floor. She asked Sean to put me to bed, so he scooped me up in his arms and put me to bed.

We were staying there for two weeks and I was hoping to get Aunt Lucy to show me all of those wonderful books before I left, but after all I heard her say the night before and how upset just talking about it made her, I was very doubtful that would ever happen, so I put my hope to rest for the time being and decided to do my best to just give her as much love as I could...she needed it now more than ever. She came into my room and gently woke me for breakfast, and I could see the joy in her face just having me there to fuss over, so I was happy to be fussed over, and she treated me like family and I liked that a lot. She told me that I was the first person allowed to sleep in Calvins room since he passed, and I told her I was glad she let me and how much I loved being there, she gave me a big squeeze and we went down to the breakfast table. After breakfast she walked around the table to me, put her hand and said "I think it might be time to show you what's in the barn, it's been locked away long enough", I took her hand and we walked around the house and as we rounded the side I could see that the wood was gone and the doors were open, and what I saw inside was amazing! There were so many books in that barn that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open staring at the hundreds of beautiful books that lined the walls. I looked at Aunt Lucy and asked for permission to enter the barn, she nodded yes and I stepped inside, I walked up to the wall where I saw the first book I wanted to read...Charlottes Web the story about a spider named Charlotte who makes a very nervous pig named Wilbur (who overhears his beloved owner Fern begging her father not to sell him for slaughter) famous over night by using her web spinning talents to write messages that everyone can see such as "terrific pig" among many other catchy little slogans, it's a classic story worth reading over and over. Then there were such titles as The Adventures of Huck Finn, Moby Dick, Lord of the Flies, The Great Gatsby and so many more! I just wanted to sleep there and read all the books in the room, but I knew that would be impossible so Aunt Lucy insisted that I stay the whole summer and that we read as many of them together as we could! I was in heaven and it was probably the most amazing summer I have ever had. I know it sounds super hokey, but it did happen, and sometimes little dreams do come true, and since then I have taken some of the most amazing journeys through all the wonderful books I have read. You can go anywhere you want, or step into the shoes of the characters and imagine what they are feeling. Also, that summer also helped someone else partially heal from the pain caused by the loss of someone that meant more than anything to her, that pain never goes away, but it does become a little less unbearable when you learn to open up and share the pain with others. The longer you keep it in, the more damage it can do, so don't be afraid to let it out, it really does do a world of good, I would know, as a mother who also lost her son at a mere 18 years of age, I had to learn that it's ok to feel, and 18 years later, life is finally good and I can tell his story without crying, and I share my life with other children as well and it feels great, thank you for reading and God Bless.