The Big Decision

The very small girl in a metal folding chair in the kitchen facing the harvest gold refrigerator. She was wearing her brand new tennis shoes. She was very proud of them, up to now she had only had cowboy boots. She was sitting with her three siblings. As always they were lined up oldest to youngest, as always she was last in line. She was five and she did not really understand everything her dad was saying. She knew her mom was gone again, and it sounded like this time might be different from the other times.

The fact that her mom had taken everything with her was part of what made her think it was different this time. The chairs they were sitting on were borrowed, and in the space where the table used to be. There was nothing else in the kitchen. Her dad had not been able to replace all of the dishes, pots, pans and other things you would expect to find in a kitchen. Behind them the living room was equally empty, no couch, no tv, no pictures on the walls. Each and every bedroom was also empty. No beds, no clothes, no toys. She looked again at the refrigerator. She wondered why her mother had left it behind it was probably too heavy. It had been emptied out though. Her dad had bought food so they at least had that, and some sleeping bags. Her dad said they would go buy some new clothes in the morning.

First up was her sister, her sister was 16. To the little girl she seemed like a grown up, she drove a car, she helped her get dressed every morning, she gave her a bath and braided her hair every night. If the little girl was naughty it was usually her big sister that got after her. In the night if she had bad dreams it was her sister that calmed her down and sang to her until she went back to sleep. When their father asked her sister where she wanted to live, her sister said “with you” with no hesitation or question about it.

Next up was her oldest brother. He was 14. He had taught her how to tie her shoes last week. He had promised to teach her how to ride a bike as soon as they had one her size. He brought her with him when he didn’t have to and showed her off as his little sister. He always made her laugh. When their father asked him where he wanted to live he said “with you” with no hesitation or question about it.

Her older brother was 10 and he was the only one who had ever asked their mother to stay. One of the times she was leaving she had told them all she was leaving. No one else said anything, but he asked her to stay. She told him that she just had more important things to do right now. When their father asked him where he wanted to live, he said “with you” with no hesitation or question about it.

That left just the little girl. She knew what she was going to say, it was not a hard question. The truth be told, she had no strong opinion about either of her parents. She didn’t really spend enough time with either one to feel any sense of attachment. Her dad got up early every day and went to work, he was a logger and he stayed in the woods till he lost daylight. At night he came home smelling of sawdust and bar oil. Her mom was home most days, all day. But the little girl didn't really talk to her. The little girl longed to go to school with the other kids so that she would not be stuck home with her mom. Her mother spent her days watching soap operas and reading romance novels. Once the little girl had asked her mom to read her a book. She said no she was reading her own book. So the little girl asked if she would read to her from her book. The answer was no.

The little girl’s choice was clear. She wanted to be wherever the people were that she could not get along without. Those people were sitting next to her in the empty kitchen on borrowed metal folding chairs. When their father asked her where she wanted to live she said “with you” with no hesitation and no question about it.