Recently I came across a ridiculous parenting trend, which is gender-neutral parenting. This is where parents expose their children to both genders and the things involved with both genders. Parents are raising their children like this because they believe it gives their children a choice to be what they want to be, a voice to express themselves and rejoice because they can do whatever they wish. However, in my opinion, gender-neutral parenting is a terrible idea, and it can also be dangerous for the child. It shows that society can never be happy with something running one way and that there are always going to be some people who wish to change the way everything works, and here they are trying to change the way children are brought up.
Fourteen years is how old I was when it all happened. I realized I wanted to live in New York City, my mom was having my little sister, I tried to harm myself, and my dad left us. We found out about my dad's affair when my little sister was already born, when we found out our entire world came down and in that moment I knew my life was not gonna be the same. My dad still lived in the US but would just leave out of the blue to see his mistress who lived in Ecuador. So it was just my mom, older sister, my baby sister, and me. He never cared what that did to us, he never cared how much pain he caused my mom, he never cared that he ruined our family, but most of all he did not care that he was leaving a new born to grow up without a father. I once had my dad on a pedestal. I would always wish to find someone to love me the way I thought my dad loved my mom. Now, all I ever wish for is to never find a man like him because he is not even a man, no real man abandons a family for a 26-year-old girl who got involved with a married man.
I'm a wife, stay at home mom, photographer, and a sometimes writer. But being a mom and wife are my first priorities. And every once in awhile I'll encounter the question, "What is it, that you do all day?" Now, this question can be really infuriating, but it always makes me wonder where it comes from.
My dad has had a positive influence on my life. Not many people have encouraged me like him. My dad has always been in my life, from the day I first opened my eyes to the present moment. He is a teacher, a guide, and a source of strength and support. If my dad has one trait that stands out, it is his positive mindset. He is always encouraging me with positive vibes and telling me that nothing is impossible.
Mothers everywhere are often condemned for daring to do what everyone has a right to do. Dream. Mothers are often thought of as a person who has it all together. Dream career, dream house, and dream husband. But what if she doesn't have those things? What if a mother has her child prior to finishing college? Or if she isn't married yet? If a mother chooses to attend college post baby, she may run into some scrutiny.
So…I locked my child in the car on Monday.
Everyone in there life has a father or father figure. Whether it be your biological father, step father, adopted father, or someone who has just been there for you since day one. No matter what, everyone has a father. But there is a difference between a father and a sperm donor. A father is someone who is there for you when you need them; they are someone who loves you no matter what. A sperm donor is a gentleman who just gives your mother a part of him that can make you. They can be a part of your life but not truly care for you. This is a story about the day my father died.
I think it's only appropriate to start at the beginning, and at the beginning is the one and only... mother. My mother, like any other mother, will go through thick and thin for her children, won't stop till they have what they need even if it destroys herself at the same time — that what you call motherhood. My mother is in her thirties and she has chronic neck and back pains. She was on disability, she was feeling so good that she got off of disability, she stopped volunteering and she is starting to work again. I'm so proud of her; she has accomplished so much with dealing with pain everyday and three children. You can see it in your eyes that she missed working; she likes having a purpose even if her purpose is just going to a job. My mother has children with different fathers; my brother Andrew and I have the same father and same mother; my little sister Ryanna has the same mom but a different dad. My mom is now single and lives with none of them. She always seems to find the dirtbags in life and I'm not too sure why, 'cause she's the one of the strongest people I know. My mother owns her own home, too, I look up to her; she's something I hope to be one day. I don't think I'll ever be able to go through what she goes through and be as strong as her. It seems like life just keeps pushing her down; even when she's at her lowest, she always finds a way to get back up, and I admire that. My mother was in four accidents. None of them were her fault; that's how she was diagnosed with chronic neck and back issues. Some days it was so difficult and so painful she couldn't even get up, and I had to make my sister's lunch for school. I took on the parent role for a little bit — but I didn't mind though, I liked to boss my siblings around. Because of everything that happened to my mother, I grew up faster than normal teenagers. I understand things that normal teenagers don't. But I do not blame her for missing out on my childhood. I appreciate her teaching me at such a young age; I feel like I understand so much more. My mother has been through a lot more than just that; my father likes to bring her to court a lot for child support. I don't think he quite understands that when you have children it takes two, not to mention my stepfather—who I don't classify as my stepfather—also causes multiple problems with the CA. My brother is 16 and he does not live at home he has some issues, but this story isn't about him. My 11-year-old sister lives with me and my mom. My mom is one of the strongest people I've ever met. She appreciates the little things and she has never ever left me. She is always there for me no matter what. She is what I aspire to be when I have children; she is one of the best mothers I think anyone could ask for. Sometimes money was hard but we managed to always have food on the table, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our head. Why? All because my mother never gave up. She had me at a young age — she was 19. She had Andrew when she was around 20; where you're at, he's 16 and I'm 17. In the end, I just wanted to say how much my mother has been through, and that you have no idea what people go through throughout their lives. This is just a part of hers that I've been through with her... this is only 17 years. What about the other 20? Or even the next 50?
The earliest memory I have of myself is one that, to anyone else, seems pointless to hold on to. A waste of memory space, so I've heard. But, I don't know...I cherish it too much.
Every daughter needs a father, for a million reasons. Father's are our biggest mentors. Father's are our biggest confidants. Fathers show us the type of men that we deserve in our life. Fathers sometimes tell us things we don't want to hear for our own good, which is likely to come out harsh and blunt. They don't mean to come across mean but us girls are pig-headed. Sometimes, it needs to be blunt to get the message through, even if it hurts our feelings. Emotions sometimes get in the way of good judgment, and that is a dad's only con to his job.
Growing up when I was younger was relatively easy from about one year of age to about six years of age. Both of my parents worked, but my mom was the one who was able to keep a steady job, while my dad wasn't able to hold one down. From the ages one year to about six years, we moved probably three different times that I can remember from a young age. After I turned seven years old, we moved to a small city called Santa Maria, California. It had a very comfortable and country-type of feel to it; there were farms, cows, and luckily enough, I had relatives who lived there, so I at least knew a few people.