Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family.
Why Didn't You Love Me?
We come into this world unable to fend for our own self, we naturally rely on our parent or guardian. Assuming they will be our forever protector. Not often do we think that our protector is the one we need saving from.
A Personal Hero Story
We take many things granted in life, whether it is material, personal, or emotional. We realize their true value when they are absent from us. Unfortunately, family can fall under this category. But have we ever stopped to think, why should it? This is my personal story about how I found a hero right next to me after years of not realizing it.
Number 22, my home for the past 18 years, the home which I love so much. The home which is always filled with music, for as long as I can remember. Mum forcing my brothers and I to do our violin practise, Gil playing the guitar loudly until late at night. Shai attempting to play the trombone, an instrument that was just too big for him at his young age. Myself finding peace in the piano, learning from YouTube videos, playing the same song for hours on end. My mum and dad blasting music from their childhoods through the speakers, dancing and laughing. My brothers and I could never clean the kitchen after dinner without listening to our music. Number 22 without music is a rare occurrence.
Family, you would think that they always have your back and help you each step of the way. But that’s where you need to look at in different angles, I’m gonna tell you a story of my own. A story about me and my family.
When Holding on Hurts More Than Letting Go
I saw something awhile back. I can't recall if it was a meme, a post or one of those click bait articles that the internet is flooded with. Either way, I saw it and it was about how holding onto certain relationships can actually be more harmful then letting go, like holding onto a razor wire. We hold onto them so tightly, and by not letting go, we are allowing that relationship to keep cutting into us. A steady stream of pain and hurt as that wire cuts into us the more we hold on, instead of a blast of pain and hurt that can be over come... eventually. I agreed with the analogy, as it has merit, and thought nothing of it until recently, when I was faced with the reality of having to make a choice: do I hold onto that wire or do I let it go?
Tips for Having Boundaries
Feeling frustrated over navigating the relationships within your family? Its hard accepting that nothing you do or say will ever change...
I Can’t Bare to Look
The McKenzie River flowed to the North of my childhood home. Past several farmer’s fields and a narrow strip of trees and brush that each year would ebb and flow as the river carved out its path from the cascades range East of Eugene Oregon to the southernmost end of the Willamette Valley.
A Note as I Fly…
The 18th day of May, 2016. It’s a pleasant morning… I watched the sun rise through the window of the aircraft, alone. I’ve learnt one thing… not learnt, rediscovered… The only one that cares about you the most is your mother, be it biological or otherwise. (Obvious?) The one that knows what you want materialistically is... You! No one else. So instead of hoping for something that you want, ask or work for it… This is just the materialistic part that I’m talking about… The other wants will take a whole new dimension if I talk about it.
Red, that is the color she saw the moment Lilly heard her mother utter the words, “You have a week to get your stuff out of the house.” She was livid that, after the years of mental abuse she suffered for that woman’s enjoyment and her sister’s benefit, she was being thrown out of her own home. All because her mother decided to start an affair with a married man and then when that fell apart, move several states away after stopping paying all bills.
Imagine this. Your significant other starts manipulating you early in your relationship. You don’t recognize it right away because you trust this person. They haven’t done anything to you that you recognize as harmful. You just notice that once in a while, they make you feel guilty for hanging out with your friends instead of them. Then, things get more intense. They start lying to you, and when you finally get the courage to confront them, they turn it around on you, making you question yourself. Making you not trust your own instincts. They start calling you all the time and getting upset when you can’t answer right away no matter if you’re working, if your phone is dead, or if you’re doing something important for yourself. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t matter. You’re there as a tool for your significant other to use to help feed their own ego.
Family or Family?
I was stumped, pondering the choice that I was given. They needed the answer within two weeks whether I was ready or not. I needed to think about the pros and cons as it will affect my life for either the next four months or for the rest of my life. It’s not something that I could just immediately answer.
The Story of a Twenty-One Year Old Girl
You must be thinking, "Oh god, here we go again with a life story." Ah, sure it may be another life story but you may learn something from this story. That or you might think you just wasted your time reading this. Who knows? If you do decide to stick around, let's get to it.