Special Moments Between me and the kids

I have known "children" having been blessed with the opportunity to be a mother, a step-mother, and a nanny. Each "role" taught me a different perspective and a different feeling of responsibility and caring. I am a very critical person of myself and of my loved ones. I want us to be the best we can be at all times and always strive for perfection, whatever that means. This trait was genetically passed on to my son, but the other "children" that I had the pleasure to be acquainted with, did not seem to share this passionate trait as much. They had other gifts and personality stamps that were memorable and treasurable. I feel the time has come to praise those I've had the honor of knowing in my mind or heart as "children".

I go on and on about my son Tate. People get tired of it. For the past 24 years, whether he was in my care or not, whether he was my responsibility or not, I couldn't stop talking about him. Good or bad, I always had something to say about him. It either aggravated others or bored them because I was like a broken record. I suppose new parents are like that with a baby, but they usually start changing their tunes once the "child" reaches the teen years. Perhaps it was the unique experiences and relationship between me and my son, my biological child, that made me unable to stop talking about him. Whatever it was, I thought he was beautiful and brilliant upon his birth, and that has never changed in my heart or mind.

I had some time with three step-children: Josh, Tabitha, and Samantha. They were born to my husband and his first wife long before I married their father. They were almost adults when I first met them. Yet I dubbed myself "step-mother" and embraced the "role". I loved them to begin with, but they didn't see it. They thought I was the problem standing in the way of their mother's and father's reunion. They were wrong about that, but I didn't have the heart or the time to explain it to them in depth. My favorite of the three was Josh, and the girls probably knew that. He just seemed different than the girls. While the girls craved adventure and new possibilities, Josh was contented at home with his family doing simple things or taking on a humble yet satisfying job. I was proud of him, even if he wasn't "mine". I was proud of the girls for other things that I never shared with them. I was proud of Tabitha for her consistency in her romantic relationship and her job. I was proud of Samantha for her ability to stay silent during confusing and emotional times. It was an ability I had yet to learn, even if I was "older" than her. I critiqued the girls more than I did about Josh. I suppose I felt they needed "constructive criticism" more than he did. They never knew that I stored in my memory bank more than just the times we hurt each other with words or the lack of showing appreciation. My favorite moment with Josh was when he asked me to sing a song by "Disturbed" at Karaoke night. My favorite moment with Tabitha was when we "flew" on the rollercoaster at SeaWorld. My favorite moment with Samantha was when she came to my wedding dress fitting at David's Bridal and I saw tears in her eyes. Maybe they knew, or maybe they didn't, but it is time for me to say something about it now. I have forgiven myself for any mistakes I made with my husband's children, and I have forgiven his children for their mistakes also.

When I was a "Nanny" for three children in Hazlet, I got to know a different feeling again. They belonged to a single father, and it was my "job" to drive them to school and make sure dinner was ready for the family when they were home every night. There were two sons, the eldest Shawn and the middle child Tyler. The youngest was the daughter Amia. They were all very beautiful and intelligent regardless of how young they were. Shawn was in high school dealing with teen stuff. Tyler and Amia were still in elementary school about to reach middle school. The father spoiled Amia with many gifts, and spent his discipline on the boys. Maybe he was right, I don't know, I only know that it seemed to me that the boys were not happy even though that's what they "showed". My favorite moment with Shawn was sitting at the table eating dinner. My favorite moment with Tyler was laughing together as we sat with his friends. My favorite moment with Amia was when she sold her piano keyboard to me because she wanted money to get her father a gift. When I left the "job" and moved away, I knew those three children would remain in my heart.

Although I only gave birth to one son way back in 1997, in my heart and mind I have 7 children: four boys and three girls. I also have my animal "babies" and my toy "babies" but those are for another story. If you've had the blessed experience of parenting in any way, I imagine you understand the joy and pain of the love that one gets to know from it. I am grateful for my experiences.