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Sisters...

Specifically-my sister.

By Shannon M LemirePublished 3 years ago 2 min read
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Sisters...
Photo by boram kim on Unsplash

I'm sitting here remembering my childhood. Where were the moments that my sister and I bonded? I close my eyes and snippets of images come to mind...we used to play in the attic a lot, we'd go ice skating together, and play Barbie.

Those memories are of when we were young...ages 5-10 or so. It's the other memories I cannot recall. Did we ever get along? Was there ever a connection between us? I remember my sister doing her own thing and me mine...we sort of danced around each other. We never really got to know one another.

All of this brings me to writing this now. It's the night before Thanksgiving and I haven't spoken to my sister in over a week. That's a huge breakthrough...we hadn't spoken in over 5 years at one point. I realize that this is ridiculous and it's small shit...and yet I haven't budged on calling her.

Might I point out that neither has she.

I had a sort of AHA moment about a month ago regarding our current sister relationship. You see...I was fighting and forcing myself to engage with her because I felt obligated to make up for 5 years of not communicating. I started out with coming up with the idea of calling each other every Friday.

It lasted 2 times. I'm not blaming anyone here as a matter of fact, I own my part of it 100%. If I really wanted to work on mending our relationship, I'd have stuck with it. Yeah I get that. And to be honest with anyone who is reading this- I don't want to right now.

I love my sister - love has nothing to do with this. This is classic sister sibling rivalry at it's best. I've realized that my pattern with her up until now has been to play passive aggressive. Not this time. This time I've set my boundary strong and won't allow myself to be sucked in to her space.

I've surrendered - SAID YES TO -to letting go of forcing and fighting. And by saying yes to that, I've said NO to struggling to be a good sister. It feels good to have a sense of freedom around my sister and me. I feel as though a piece of something heavy has fallen from my shoulders. I can take a deep breath.

I don't know what our relationship will look like...but I suppose a part of that answer is up to me right?

siblings
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About the Creator

Shannon M Lemire

I never know what I'm going to be inspired to write on and that's my favorite part of writing...allowing myself to go into the pause with curiosity. It's always interesting to witness what sprouts from this exercise. Hope you enjoy -

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