Single Parents Have A Tough Job

Introduction

A mother or father becomes a single parent for several reasons. Death, abandonment, divorce, adoption, military deployment, separation, and personal preference are among these reasons.

Sometimes this family structure is temporary. Other times it remains permanent.

Outward appearances can be deceiving. While single parents may seem to be well-organized, financially stable, and happy, what goes on internally remains unseen.

There are often covert struggles that only parents endure day after day in secret and solitude. Sometimes issues are associated with the lack of personal time or not enough of it. Sometimes anxieties exist because of the need for adequate and affordable child care. And sometimes their mental health may be jeopardized because of all the continuous demands placed upon them.

Whether family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, or acquaintances, other people need to remain sensitive to the plight of single parents. As members of our global village, we must be willing to volunteer and offer support to these parents. After all, that is what being a good neighbor is all about.

Ways to Offer Help

There are countless ways that others can be there for single mothers and fathers. Here are five examples.

Five Ways to Be There

1. As a gesture of goodwill and kindness, just ask them if they need anything to support them on their parenting journey. If you can provide the type of assistance they tell you that they need, provide it. It is great for these mothers and fathers to know that others care about them and their children enough to help them.

2. Offer to assist their children with their homework or special school projects on designated days and times. Showing empathy that includes their need for relief time demonstrates your support of single parents.

3. If you have a little extra money while shopping, pick up a few things at the grocery store that you know your family would enjoy. While an extremely simple gesture, a box of popsicles, a package of graham crackers, or a bag of apples reinforces the concern that you have for single-parent families.

4. Be a positive role model in the life of the children of only parents. Being a mentor not only provides an extra set of helping hands, but it also provides the children with someone to look up to who can positively influence their lives.

4. Acknowledge the efforts of a single parent by saying things like, “you are such a good parent…I see how hard you work as a parent...” builds their confidence. Words such as these reveal an understanding of the life of these parents and encourage them to persevere.

Consider some of the other ways that family members, friends, and other people enrich the existence of single parents and their children. Open your heart and be willing to spread your love to them.

I Know What Single Parents Go Through

I advocate for single parents because I understand them well and I want conditions to improve for them.

As an only parent, I fully embrace the joys that my daughter continues to add to my life. Despite the happiness, I am very familiar with some of the continuous challenges, too. Here are just a few that I have encountered.

1. Sometimes the load that I carry becomes overwhelming. Since I am the only source of all things related to raising a happy and well-adjusted child in a safe environment, it can be very difficult at times. Many people do not understand and some do not care.

2. With so many relatives, those who call me friends, and neighbors who surround me, it would have been nice if more people would have simply checked in to ask if I needed any help or simply provided me with a little assistance. To be honest, it would have also been a wonderful thing if male relatives would have been there to be a positive and consistent influence in my daughter’s life. Despite this, I am most grateful that my daughter has had beautiful friends throughout her life. Their families have included her in activities and special events. I am especially thankful for the times that her friend’s dads took their daughter and mine to fun events. As an only parent, I have always considered these times were priceless because my daughter does not have a daddy. There is something else related to this that has brought tears to my eyes. There have been many times when my daughter has completed in her sport and I have heard her teammate’s dads cheer for her exclusively. Those moments have been extremely affirming. My next-door neighbors have also been a source of quiet strength for me. They always do kind things around my home to show their support to me as a busy only parent. Shoveling snow from the sidewalk in front of our home and landscaping the side of our house are among the kind things they always do. My parents have always shown their unconditional love to me and my daughter. Before my father’s death in February 2020, he was the father she never had.

3. People make the unfair assumption that because I am a well-established mother and professional that all is well with me. They think because I am mature and travel with my daughter to expose her to the world that all is perfect with me. It is so wrong for people to assume that a single parent is living an easy life when they have no idea what in their life. They have no idea how much I sacrifice to provide a great life for my child because they do not travel the path that I do alone.

These are just a few of the challenges that are an only parent encounters. If I experience struggles as a very strong and independent mother, I know more intense struggles exist for other single parents who are not well-established in life.

The Final Word

Being a parent is a beautiful thing. Nothing can take the place of the love that we have for our children.

Despite the joy associated with being a mother or father, other people must realize that the job of a parent is extremely hard when one person assumes that role alone. It is very, very hard being a single or only parent.

Whether family, friends, co-workers, or neighbors, others must realize that those who parent alone could use some words of support or encouragement and a helping hand some of the time.

What are you willing to do to help a single parent?

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Thank you.

This story was originally published on Medium.com in A Parent Is Born.