Sibling Abuse (Potential Triggers)

About 2.5 weeks ago this turned my life upside down. First off, we need to understand what sibling abuse is. Just like other types of big name abuses, sibling abuse can include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Now when I was asking some people "how do you know if you are a victim of sibling abuse?" I got the same response: "Did they touch you sexually?" That completely infuriated my knowing that people only think that abuse is sexual, which also says a lot as to why women who are being physically abused tend to keep quiet.

After receiving an answer I didn't accept, I went on a research binge. That's when I realized the main abuse that they focused on was sexual, and I found it odd that the others weren't even considered. So when I found this one site that listed the other forms, I decided to read it. But then I realized something else. It seems as though they only talk about sibling abuse as younger and not older. Apparently, sibling abuse is more common than child abuse or spousal abuse.

Anyway the point of this was to explain that sibling abuse can happen at any age. I am 24, almost 25 (I'm 5'3" and 120 lbs) and my 22-year-old brother (6'0" and 170 lbs) thought he would bully and intimidate me to getting his way. For months we walked on egg shells because he was always threatening to commit suicide so basically whatever he did or said we couldn't respond to. At one point I drained my bank account for him and still he goes around telling people I don't do $#@% for him.

Well less than three weeks ago we had to switch places. He got mad at me because I didn't tell him (the new place wasn't ready for another hour) so a friend came by and told them we were moving a few doors down and said the number. When we were done talking I walked back in and started packing and cleaning. And he started his crap, telling me I'm stupid, worthless, a b****, and many other names. So I called my aunt in New Jersey. Throughout the hours (yes hours) I was talking to her, he became physically abusive. He was throwing kitchen utensils, cups, books, and more at me, while my aunt heard absolutely everything he was saying to me. She was completely baffled. Well, I left to talk to my aunt and calm down a bit since he was vacuuming. I came back 30 minutes later and he was done (done as in cord wrapped and all) so I grabbed it out by me, bent down to pick up the bigger pieces, and that's when hell broke out and I released an inner demon. He came asking for the vacuum, and I said no that he could wait five minutes when I was done. And he stepped closer in my face (at this point I'm standing upright) and was demanding it. And I just kept saying no.

Eventually he got pissed and grabbed hold of my shoulders and tried to move me. I broke his hold on me and warned him about touching me. Well, the next few minutes will forever be vividly ingrained in my my mind. He grabbed hold again and I wasn't having it. So I grabbed hold of his throat, not even a full grab but used a lot of pressure of the web (the part between the thumb and index finger) of my hand against his throat and used full force to push him back. He wasn't having it and threw a punch that I blocked with my right inner forearm (does that make sense? If not, picture right hand palm up and look at your forearm that way.) In this case, I turned my arms out so palms and wrists were out to him and the hit landed. Again I pushed him away but this time I was grabbed by my wrists and thrown on the bed where he was attempting to slap me (not gonna lie, he landed a few). I managed to get my leg up between us and against his chest. All my energy went towards forcing him off. I used so much force he hit a table by the window and knocked it into the window (glad nothing broke). At this point, I'm drained so he grabbed me again by shoulders and shook me. I broke the grip and left.

At the point I was gone, the bruises were forming and purple marks were becoming visible. I had to make calls. First call was to mother who—I don't know why—told me not to call the cops. Even though a voice inside told me to call them, she said she would deal with him. I should have known better. Before I made the second call I was attempting to pull myself together when a stranger approached. I did my best to hide the marks. He had already seen them. He gave me a card and his number. He told me he doesn't like men who beat their girls and heard everything, I managed a chuckle and said, "I'm not in a relationship with him." He looked at me and said if I need anything or even help to call him. Usually I'm the one who is supporting the victims but this time I was the victim, a position I never thought I would find myself in.

To skip all of his dramatics of throwing his phone and keys down in front of people yelling that he lives with a b****, now weeks later I overheard a rumor that he started saying that he had to beat me because I disrespected him. I had to hide for a few days while the marks on my face went away and had to wrap my right forearm since the bruising and swelling was huge. Whenever someone asked, the story was that I had my arm in the door and when I moved my foot from holding the door back, it slammed on my forearm (heavy door). But there was one guy who always joked when he saw me out and about, saying it's about time you took a break from beating your brother. But when he saw my arm and said that, I looked at him and froze for a second before telling him the story I came up with. But something in me tells me he didn't believe a word I said.

Basically my point is sibling abuse is real and can happen at any age. My relationship with both my brothers has since deteriorated to the point where they have been deleted and blocked from all social media and their numbers are blocked on my phone as well. It's not fair but it seems like the baby brother decided to support his brother's claims without hearing my side and that's fine. I wish them all the best and I wish anyone who is going through sibling abuse or any other type of abuse, I hope someone reaches out to you like the guy did for me. I hope you tell someone about what's going on so that the proper actions can be taken.

(I would upload the pictures of the bruises but they have identifying tattoos.)