Set Your Kids Up for Success

Children start the learning process at a very young age. At just a few months old they learn what to do to get their needs met. Generally, newborn babies learn that if they cry when they are hungry, tired or have a dirty diaper an adult will come and help them. They are already learning and experiencing behaviors that help them get their needs met. This is when you can start teaching them how to get what they want without crying all of the time. Be proactive by putting your child on a feeding and sleep schedule. Keep track of the time they sleep and the times they need to feed. Make yourself a chart or download and app that keeps track of these things. By being proactive you are cutting down the probability of your child always crying to get what they want and need. Just by incorporating consistency in a newborn's daily routine, you are already setting them up for success.

As your children develop and grow, it's up to you to shape their behaviors and teach them how to get their needs met in a socially acceptable manner. Between 10 - 14 months children start learning words. This is when you need to start teaching them. If a child wants a toy and they cry so they can get it, refrain from giving it to them at that point. Teach them the right way to get the toy by modeling the behavior. You can start with pairing the toy with a word and a gesture. For example, if your child wants a toy truck you can show them the truck, point to it and say, "truck" "want truck". Prompt them how to touch the truck that they want. The second they respond by trying to say it or touch it, give them the toy. After you give them what they want it's important that you praise them verbally for asking the right way for what they want. "Good job asking for your toy". A simple phrase like that gives your child positive reinforcement and helps to shape their behavior. Be conscious of your own behavior and don't give them the toys every time they cry. Be patient and consistent when teaching any new behavior.

Once your children reach school age you can start setting them up for success by helping them learn behaviors that help them do a good job at school and at home. Start them on a daily chore chart that includes getting their school supplies ready and getting their homework done. Set up a system where they can earn stars or stickers, maybe a bigger reward at the end of the week. Perhaps they have a favorite dessert, extra television time or game time. Find something your child really enjoys and allow them to earn it by consistently using the chores and rewards chart. A few examples of what to put on the chart are:

- Got up for school on time.

- Ate my breakfast and brushed my teeth.

- Had my backpack and school supplies ready.

Start with a few simple tasks that you can teach them how to do. Remember, consistency is the key. Teaching your children how to be organized and how to get their needs met appropriately starts them on the road to success. When you start your children on simple routines at an early age and implement them consistently, you are teaching them how to be organized and successful. Make this a regular thing throughout their school career to help them develop positive, productive behaviors.

Communication is important. Help your children feel comfortable and safe when talking with you. Encourage them to talk to you and ask questions. It's ok if you don't have all of the answers, you can find answers together. By working on open and honest communication with your child, they learn how to verbally express their wants and needs, how to ask questions without feeling less than and how to have good communication with others.

A lot of people don't think about the fact that you can start shaping a child's behaviors and habits as young as a few months old, but you can. A child who feels safe, comfortable and confident will more than likely be on a good path to success. Remember this, kids learn by example. They will model behaviors they see others display. You have to be their model. With anything you want to teach them, you have to lead by example. Model the behavior by showing them what you want them to do, show them strategies and techniques that will help them be successful. Teach your child how to be successful and they will be successful.

Written by: Sue McGaughey