Rebuilding Unity

What is a family? A simple definition would be, a group of people, that consists of parents and children living in the same house. But in reality, everyone knows family does not mean just that. A family is more than just a group of people, it is a group of people who love and care for one another. There are billions of families that live on this earth, but not every family is the same. The reason could be because of religion, culture, or family morals. But one trait that all families experience are the ups and downs. In addition, families are not as close to each other as they use to be or would like to be. As children grow up, parents may start to feel disconnected, unlike when they were little. As parents, they may also feel that they do not know anything about their child or what goes on in their lives at school, work, or with friends. On the other hand, children may feel as if their parents do not care about them because they are not close to each other. In fact, the children may feel neglected. What could be the reason for these feelings? Could it be because there is no trust or no love? That could be the answer; however, these feelings reflect poor relationships and lack of communication. The real problem is there is no bond between the parents and children; there is no unity. There are many causes for this problem. It could be because everyone has a different schedule and they come home at different times. Perhaps parents are too busy with work or are too tired to do anything. The lack of communication and too little time spent together could also be a few other reasons, as well as the growth of technology. Many families bypass these issues because they do not realize it until it is too late. Having no bonds in families can be a big problem because it contributes to broken relationships and separation between spouses. Many families lack unity; however, this can change if they spend more time together, communicate very frequently, and limit their time with technology.

What makes a family happy? Certainly, it is not money, cars, clothes, or material things, but simply doing things together. Material things and money can always be replaced, but the precious time spent with loved ones is something that could never be taken back or replaced. Although the lack of unity is a problem in families, one solution is spending quality time together. The more families spend time together, the better their relationships are. Spending time together does not mean they have to do things they would see “normal” families do in a movie, such as staying home playing monopoly and cards or going to the movie theatre every Saturday night. It could simply be, doing chores together, helping cook dinner, setting up the table, or eating at the dinner table. Spending time together as a family does not mean they always have to spend it inside of their home. They could go out to the park and play catch, stroll through the neighborhood, or even go to the gym together. Families could also go beyond that, by getting involved with their church and helping Sunday services. When everyone has a clear schedule, they could even go as a group and volunteer to help the homeless and less fortunate families. When families spend time together they also build a stronger relationship with each other and learn more about what their spouse and children like and dislike. For example, a mother decides she wants to have a mother and daughter day and do something together. The mother decides to go to the mall and take her daughter shopping. Little does the mother know that her daughter does not enjoy shopping. Instead, the daughter prefers spending the day with her mother walking around the park or the lake. The mother did not know that, because she never spent quality time with her daughter. Time equals love. As parents spend more time with their children and their spouse, they do not just learn about them, but they show more appreciation and love to each other.

Another solution to the lack of unity in families is communication. As youngsters become teens and begin to enter adulthood, communication begins to dwindle. Without communication, misunderstanding, bad judgment, and hurt feelings can occur. As well as spending time together, mothers and fathers need to make time to communicate with their children. Instead of passing by each other throughout the house and saying hi and bye, parents need to set aside time to talk with them. It doesn't matter where the conversation takes place, it could be at the dinner table, at the park, at school, or even during a drive home in the car. Communication is not just about talking. It is also about body language and listening. Body language reveals personal feelings that may be hidden within. Actively listening to children or a spouse allows one to understand their views, which leads to effective communication. Also when communicating with each other, family members need to show respect and control their emotions. For instances, if a father sits down with his son, the father shall allow his son to speak about his problem and not interrupt. For this reason, the son will feel that his father respects him and values him. As a result, the son will feel comfortable talking to his dad about his problems, which builds trust. Communicating with each other does not mean they have to talk to each other about problems that they have, but simply talking about how their day was or what they did throughout the day. As a result of families that communicate frequently, they are open, more understanding, and are able to trust one another. Good communication takes focus and serious effort by everyone. Working on communication skills can help families build stronger relationships as well.

In addition, limiting technology is the key to improving unity within family households. As many have realized, technology plays a huge role in today's society and continues to grow. Both children and parents spend too much time watching television, playing video games, being on the computer, or being on any other electronic device. Many parents would agree that technology greatly affects their families. It seems as if no one could leave their house without their cell phones, and many get upset when their cell phone dies. According to a study on media influence done by the Kaiser Family Foundation, eight to eighteen-year-olds spend over seven hours a day using entertainment media, which is way over fifty hours a week. As a result, children become lazy, gain weight, and are easily distracted. Thus it is hard for them, as well as parents, to develop and maintain relationships with their family and friends. Many people use technology to keep up with current events in the world and forget they have a life to live outside of it. Instead, they watch movies, play online video games, and participate on Facebook, Twitter, and any other social networks. Technology is, in fact, a great way to stay connected to the world and with others, but it undermines families as well. For example, the husband may meet a new lady on Facebook and begin chatting with her. Soon, he starts losing interest in his wife, which leads to divorce and breaking up the family. If parents and children limit their time on computers, cell phones, video games, and television, they would have time to interact with each other and communicate frequently. If technology happens to be a huge part of a family, they could take a different approach and play the video games together. But the best approach to improve unity within families, is to limit the time on electronics.

Today, lack of unity is a common issue in families. This is caused by the lack of communication, not enough time spent together, expansion of technology, different schedules and school or job demands. Families are important because they unite children as well as prevent divorce. It not only affects the family, but it also affects other family members, friends, and co-workers. Although the lack of unity is a common problem with families, this can be fixed by spending quality time together, communicating more frequently, and using technology less often. Spend quality time together can build a bond between parents and children as well as learning the things they enjoy doing. Communicating helps with knowing what each other is doing and also helps with trust issues. Spending less time on the computer and video games allows time for one rather than sitting in one spot for hours. Family unity inspires each other to do daily routines with one another as well as starting new traditions and adding excitement and fun to ordinary events. For example, instead of waking up in the morning and getting ready for school or work, the mother or father could cook breakfast and have a little time together before they start their day. Not only does unity inspire families, but it also keeps a family together; it is what keeps them strong. What would families have without it? Just a group of people living under the same roof, doing their own things, like they were roommates. Family unity means staying together, supporting one another, building a strong family relationship, balancing family priorities, and expressing themselves freely to one another. When they realize the things that are breaking up their family, they could take a few steps into rebuilding family unity.

Families are vital in society. But they cannot exist without communication and unity. Technology can contribute to both; however, it can also erode families. Because divorce is so common today, families suffer and experience disconnection. The break down of the family unit is a real problem. To remedy this, parents should talk to each other, make time to interact, and spend quality time with their children. It is wrong to stand silent and watch families dissolve. Instead, steps or programs need to be offered that will develop family life and make it strong. Family is what makes America great today. As people of America, Americans should make family their number one priority and focus on unity.

Works Cited

Cason, Katherine. "Building Family Strengths Unity." 25 Jul 2013. Clemson University, Web. 19 Feb. 2019.

Duncan, Stephen F., and Kristi McLane. "Family Strengths: Communication." Forever Families. Montana State University, n.d. Web. 19 Feb 2019.