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Pressure is never a motivator

by Bula Sete 2 months ago in children
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Never for children


In the world of adults, everyone always says: there is pressure, there is motivation. The greater the pressure, the greater the motivation. So, many parents use the "pressure" way to teach their young children. Hopefully, they can also sense the pressure and then break out of their immediate comfort zone.

But the fact is, children are just children, their minds are not too mature, for the pressure of digestion and understanding is limited. There is no such thing as a child who grows up overnight, so stress is not a motivator for them at all, and may even be a reason to retreat and give up.

What are parents' views on "stress education"?


Pro: There is no such thing as success in a handful of days. If you want to get ahead, you have to bear the pressure that others can't, and put in many times the effort. For children to be more successful in the future, they should be educated strictly from an early age, so that they can receive more pressure education, and then a little breakthrough.

Opposition: Even adults can't handle the pressure and break down, let alone children. It is not recommended to use stress education in elementary school because children are young and their minds are immature, which can easily backfire. Once the child can't handle it, then the consequences are particularly dangerous and this must not be the result the parents want.

So it seems that not all parents approve of pressure education. But regardless of whether they are for or against it, parents have a very simple idea: they want to find the right way to educate their children and then help them grow up quickly. Since we all share the same goal, why not choose a better way?

Instead of creating pressure on children and making them suffer beyond their years, why not choose a "fun and educational" approach? Children's minds are too simple, and they are more willing to accept a happy approach.

How to balance "fun education" and "stress education"?

For many parents, the hardest part is balancing the two. Here, parents should avoid the misconception that "stress education" is not about giving all the pressure on children, and that "happy education" is not about letting children grow up without any worries.

Society is cruel and there are many choices and competitions on the way to growing up. If you put pressure on your children and "force" them to be diligent and hard-working and to surpass others in everything, it is easy for them to become rebellious, rather than doing the opposite.

Try to balance the relationship between "happiness" and "pressure", so that the two cleverly blended. Let your child have a certain amount of pressure so that he can slowly develop a sense of responsibility, but also let him enjoy the joy of childhood, not be overwhelmed by the pressure.

Try to classify stress into different levels. Stress that can urge your child to develop positively is generally called positive stress, while stress that your child cannot tolerate and can even affect his physical and mental health is called toxic stress. Make good use of positive stress and let your child slowly adapt to these stresses that are helpful to him or her.

But there is a process to everything, and it is important to take a slow and pervasive approach to get your child to accept it gradually. Smart parents, instead of just making demands, focus on observation to see how well their child adapts and changes in the end, and then slowly adjust the way the pressure is given.

As for happy education, you need to pay attention to the principles and bottom line. It's not a matter of doing whatever you want, and it's not a matter of doing whatever you want, but it's based on rules. You can agree on the details of the rules with your child in advance to make sure that he accepts them all and fulfills them carefully.

If your child is under too much pressure, what can you do to ease their mood?

Do not rule out the fact that some children are delicate and sensitive at heart and already have problems with excessive stress. Living under high pressure for a long time can cause different degrees of damage to a child's physiology and psychology, so they need to be helped to relieve stress and slowly get out of anxiety, tension, and negative emotions.

1、Go out and relax

Read a million books, travel a million miles. When the pressure is too great, let your child temporarily put down their studies and get out of the house. Going out for a walk will allow them to temporarily forget their worries and immerse themselves in the novelty of the outside world. Even if they look at different scenery, they will feel happy physically and mentally, and their horizons become broadened.

2、Double your care

Must admit: many children's pressure, originated from the family, from the parents. Do not want to let the pressure ruin the child, then give them double the care, with love and action to touch them. It is important to note: care, but also to have the right amount, parents must not cross the line, give the child the space they want.

3, lower the requirements

Do not always use "high standards" to require children, they are the accumulation of experience at an age, and it is justifiable to make mistakes. What's more, a lot of successful experience is accumulated by the child to make mistakes. Parents should learn to lower their expectations and not push them too hard.


About the author

Bula Sete

Everyone is the moon, there is always a dark side, never let people see.

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