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Postpartum Depression

Having a child is hard, but postpartum depression is harder.

By tnkPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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It's what most mothers struggle with but never talk about. It's staying up all night thinking about whether you are a good mother, or not. It's thinking that you hurt your baby even though all you did was pick them up. It's crying without having a good reason to cry. It's postpartum depression. Depressing thoughts, harmful feelings, and a mother never thinking they are good enough. Postpartum depression is defeating, and it's something nobody can cure on their own. It will defeat you. You will not win, unless you get the help you need. The thoughts will never go away. They will either be there in full force, or they will be subsided with medications, but they never go away.

Because being a mother is so stressful, the thoughts of whether our child is going to grow up to be a healthy girl or healthy boy is almost always in the back of our minds. Until they get to the age to care for themselves, we will always worry about whether we are doing a good job as a mother. Even after our children leave the house, we will always continue to worry. That's what a mother does, and it's what you sign up for once the plus sign or double line appears on the pregnancy test. A single stick can change our lives forever. And even though children are amazing and no doubt, a blessing, the thoughts that come along after them are not.

I am currently struggling with postpartum depression, and I am not afraid to admit it. Talking to someone is literally what saved my life. Postpartum depression is so strong that it can literally make us want to commit suicide or harm our child for no good reason other than he or she might be crying too much. Having postpartum depression DOES NOT make you any less of a mother than someone that has never struggled with it. Honestly, it makes you stronger, especially if you overcome it. It's something to talk about and share with other mothers and not be ashamed to do so. My postpartum depression almost tore my relationship with my husband apart. It made me angry to take care of my son. I didn't want to hold him or have anything to do with him because I didn't want to accidentally hurt him. My son loved me, but I didn't feel the same way.

I knew I wanted to love him and hold him in my arms so tight, but something in my mind was telling me not to do it. It was my postpartum depression. After going to the doctors and seeking help from other mothers that knew about postpartum depressions and mothers that have went through it themselves, I finally have recovered from it. I still have subsided thoughts, but they are easier to ignore than they were before. It's easier to not listen and continue to take care of my son rather than putting my son down and letting my thoughts take over. Medications are a key ingredient that help with postpartum depression, and they actually work. If you are struggling with postpartum depression, take control. Take back your body and defeat all the negative thoughts that appear when postpartum depression is present. Be strong for you but stronger for you child.

Postpartum depression is proven to have a negative impact on your child if you do not seek help. So please do. If you have any thoughts at all, call your doctor. They take postpartum depression serious because it is a serious disease that can come upon us mothers quicker than anything else. It's okay to seek help. It does not make you any less of a mother to admit that you are struggling with it. I've struggled. Many other mothers have struggled. You're not alone.

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About the Creator

tnk

"writing is like the painting of a voice."

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