Postpartum Depression

It can happen to anyone, whether you're a first time mom or on your third child. It's not fun and it's one of the worst feelings a woman can go through—in my opinion, at least. Postpartum depression—for those of you who don't know what PPD is, let me tell you: the definition on Google—is "depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue." And for the most part, this is absolutely accurate. PPD is one of the worst all time lows I've ever experienced in my life. At least so far as I'm only 20. My name is Alicia and I'm here to tell you my story and what I went through, and let me tell you, if you are pregnant and reading this thinking, oh that will never happen to me, or it can't be that bad, you are wrong. I thought so before I had my daughter. I never thought that I would be a victim to PPD. I thought when I had my daughter I was going to be so lively as I just gave birth to my very first beautiful baby girl. But as all people, I was wrong. So wrong. Here is my story. And I hope this helps with whatever you're looking for.

I had my daughter in December of 2017, so not that long ago. She was five weeks premature, so obviously I was not expecting to be a mom for another five more weeks; but she was ready early. I thought everything was great. We had already had her home for about two to three weeks. Slowly I started locking myself up in my bedroom with my daughter. I would only come out to make her a bottle, go to the bathroom, eat, or leave if I had to go somewhere. Me and my little girl spent most of our day in my bedroom. It slowly started escalating into me not helping out around the house. My husband's mom would ask me to do the dishes and I found myself not doing them all the way or just not doing them at all because I didn't have the energy or motivation to get out of bed. Sometimes I didn't even have the motivation to get up in the morning and grab a cup of coffee. I found myself to be extremely emotional. Like my husband not giving me a kiss in the morning before he went to work. I would have spurts of energy where I cleaned the entire house and then really low lows where I would sit in bed and cry for hours for no reason. For the first two months of my baby's life, I didn't feel like I was a good enough mom. I felt like nothing I did was right. I wasn't sleeping enough so I was sleep deprived. I would just stare at a wall for hours because I didn't know what else to do. And it took me until now to realize it had it. Six months later. I'm speaking out, so if you have any of these symptoms or if you feel this type of way and any way, you need to see a doctor because they can help. Trust me. Some people let their depression get so bad they resorted to hurting the children or even murdering them. Doctors can help. Don't let it take over you, and get help.