- to become lost


“I’m lost,” The young boy says again, his small, quiet voice screaming in my head. Forcing me to listen, I look down at him, his dark brown hair falling just shy of his eyebrows, his bed dress a grey colour, drowning him in the material. And his beautiful lapis-lazuli eyes gazing at me with hope. I look away in shame and close my eyes tight to block out the image that is before me. I hold back tears with all my strength, not wanting to show the young one my guilt. As I look back to him, all I see is the edge of the cliff. I turn sharply and see the boy standing behind me, he coughs and I fly backwards off of the edge.

I sit up quickly in my bed, breathing heavily, not again. I can’t deal with this stress again. I look around my room, waiting for the crows to start to materialise and cascade onto me. My room is still and silent, nothing but my harsh breathing interrupting the silence. A knock at the door startles me, “‘Come in!” I say hastily, as the old wooden door creaks open on its ancient hinges. My little sister, Jenna, peers round with her stunning porphura eyes. She informs me that my breakfast is ready and asks if I am alright, a funny question to ask for, are we ever fully ok? She disappears back around the door and closes it lightly. “I’m lost” I hear the boys voice echo around my room, it’s all happening again.

I walk down the stairs to have my breakfast, but as I turn on the second landing, I see the small boy standing there with a crow resting on his small shoulder, It's claws gripping his shoulder with immense strength causing small trickles of blood to travel down his dress. He doesn't seem to notice as he gazes at me with his kaleidoscopic eyes. Time seems to stand still and I’m rooted to the spot. The boy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, smooth and circular stone and holds it out to me. I close my eyes, not wanting him to be there, as I open them and glance at the bottom of the stairs, in the boys place stands Jenna. “What’s going on Breanna? Are you ok?” I look at her, wondering and hoping that she will never have to go through what I am, “Yes Jenna I’m fine, I just need to talk to Paloma.” She shrugs at me and runs upstairs to her room. I hear her door slam shut as I reach the bottom of the stairs.

I saunter into the kitchen and take a seat at the small boat wood table, around the kitchen are small figurines of animals and resting budah’s. A rock juts out of the wall rudely into the kitchen, making everything live and work around it. A small cactus plant is balanced on top of its uneven surface. Paloma places a small marble cup filled with sweet herbal tea in front of me causing its heavenly aroma to fill my nose. As I sip from my cup I hear the heavy steps of Jenna coming down the stairs, “Breanna!” She drags my name out, informing me that she is after something, I turn in my chair so that I’m facing the wide doorway where I know she will appear in just a few short moments.

“What do you want Jenna? I have to get to school so make it quick please” I give her a look to let her know that I am in no way shape or form up for her crap this morning. Seeing this look she just dismisses it and decides to sit opposite me with her head hung low,

“Sit up Nita, breakfast is ready,” Paloma says in a loving way as she sets down a plate. Jenna just looks at it judgingly, and pushes it toward me,

“Breanna I need to talk to you, please.” She looks up at me, her eyes slightly watering. It is very rare for her to cry so I know that this is important. I stand and gesture for her to follow me to the common room of the house.

“What’s up?” my voice laced with concern as her eyes fill with tears.

“I saw Paloma this morning,” Her voice shakes as she talks, she doesn’t manage to finish her sentence before she bursts out crying. Paloma races by her side, holding us both in an embrace and whispering to Jenna that everything will be fine. The boy glares at me from across the room, I shudder into my grandmother and the boy is gone.

fact or fiction
Saffron Dixon
Saffron Dixon
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Saffron Dixon
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