Parents should understand that there is a clear gap between children who cry easily and those who do not cry when they grow up.

In the face of their children's crying, parents deal with it differently.

On weekends, I take my son to play football.

On the field, several children are playing happily together, while parents sit on the sidelines and chat.

For some reason, there was a conflict between the children and they moved their hands. A boy was wronged and ran over with tears: dad, they committed a foul and were unreasonable.

When the father heard this, his face drooped: boy, why are you crying? Useless!

Crying is the most common behavior in the process of growing up, and it is also the most troublesome behavior for parents. In the face of children's crying, different parents will have different ways to deal with it:

? Reprimand: what's the use of crying? Can crying solve the problem?

? Disdain: you are a boy, how can you cry, make people laugh.

? Cajole: all right, stop crying, let's go, mom will buy you candy.

In fact, whether it is coaxing, severely stopping, or criticizing, there is a common point of view behind it, that is, parents will feel from the bottom of their hearts that crying is a bad thing and should be stopped.

Few parents think that crying is a normal emotion.

And few children are allowed to cry happily.

As parents, we should treat the child crying calmly and correctly, and explore what is the truth behind the crying.

Crying is a normal emotional expression of a child.

Daniel, an American authority on brain science and a well-known expert on child development. After research, Seeger suggested that a child's brain is like a two-story building being built.

The lower brain responsible for survival and self-protection is built as soon as the child is born, while the upper brain responsible for thinking, planning and imagination is not built until the child is about 25 years old.

Because of this, when children encounter difficulties, fears and desperate situations, the amygdala in their lower brain, which is in charge of emotion, will respond to stress, such as resistance, crying and so on.

Crying is not only a reasonable physiological response of a child, but also a normal expression of emotion.

When children were young, they could not express complex emotions, so they would tell their mother in tears: I am hungry, I am sleepy, I want to hug.

When the children grow up, they will have more thoughts, they will cry to tell others: I do not like this very much, I feel very uncomfortable, I hope someone can help me.

Children cry to express their feelings, to ask for help, and to vent their negative emotions.

After crying, they can put down their baggage, shake off their hearts, and travel light.

Psychologist Kirby once did a "crying survey".

A total of 137 people who participated in the survey were divided into two groups: healthy group and sick group. Most of the people in the disease group suffer from diseases closely related to mental stress, such as ulcer and colitis.

The results showed that people in the healthy group cried far more often than those in the sick group, saying: after crying, they felt much more comfortable.

Moreover, in a sense, the child crying in front of us is a sign of trust in us.

It is only in front of those who are most trusted and closest that we are willing to show our weakest and truest side.

If the child cries, we should be glad that we have won their trust.

At this time, as parents, we should squat down, catch their tears, crack their password, so that they can laugh after drying their tears.

There is an obvious gap between crying and non-crying children when they grow up.

So, what kind of gap will there be between those children who love to cry and those who do not cry when they grow up?

1. Different emotional perception abilities.

There is an effect in psychology called the pendulum effect, which means that people's positive and negative emotions are symmetrical, just like the pendulum.

To put it simply, you can be happy as much as you can feel sadness.

Looking at the people around us, it is not difficult to see that those extroverted people who cannot hide things in their hearts can express their emotions happily and catch them, and their tears come and go quickly.

Therefore, those children who love to cry from an early age can freely express their emotions, needs and feelings, and they lead a free and easy life.

And those children who dare not cry since childhood, timid and introverted, they always hide their true feelings, of course, it is very difficult for them to have a really happy moment in their life.

2. Different abilities of empathy

A friend of mine has a very good personality. no matter when and where, he is always able to sensitively explore the hearts of others, perceive the needs of others, and give comfort and care in time.

When he is thirsty, he will hand over a bottle of water; when he is upset, he will take the initiative to change the subject; if he is embarrassed, he will take the initiative to resolve embarrassment.

It was not until one day when he talked about his upbringing that he knew that he had been a "crybaby" since childhood, but he was lucky to have a pair of parents who loved him and allowed him to cry.

Therefore, those children who love to cry from an early age, their emotions are more delicate, their sense of touch is more sensitive, they have delicate compassion and compassion.

And those children who hold tears from an early age are often indifferent to the emotional changes of others, so they seldom have close friends and have a strong sense of loneliness.

3. Different psychological defense mechanisms.

Psychologist William Fry once did a very interesting experiment.

He divided all the volunteers into two groups, one of which was arranged to watch a very moving movie, while the other cut onions in the office. The staff will collect their tears and conduct a comparative study.

The results of the study show that emotional tears contain tea phenolamine, while reflex tears do not contain this substance. And theophenolamines are secreted when the brain feels stressed.

This experiment also shows that when a person is under pressure and is unable to dredge, his body will continue to accumulate theophenolamine, thus increasing the risk of illness.

Therefore, those children who love to cry from an early a