Normalize Supporting Mothers

I remember it all too well. My newborn baby was in my arms, red faced, screaming bloody murder… Every fiber of my being was tense. Every instinct was telling me what to do: Just feed her!

It should be that simple, right? Feeding our babies from our breast is the most natural thing. It’s what we are built to do. It’s what breasts are there for. It should be as effortless and natural as breathing.

Except, as many new mothers find out, it’s not.

Breastfeeding is a skill that both mommy and baby have to learn together. And it can take time! But while we are learning, there is nothing more stressful. On top of our sleep-deprivation and all the other new-parent woes, the last thing we need is to worry about the most fundamental function of keeping our little one alive: feeding her.

What doesn’t help is all the misinformation when it comes to breastfeeding. So many women are told: but how will you know if she is getting enough? How do you know your milk has all of the vitamins and nutrition that she needs? Add to that misinformation the crippling exhaustion and raging hormones, and you have the recipe for some severe anxiety.

There is a lot of pressure to give up and feed her formula.

But, wait! We can’t even just do that… There’s something else stopping us: the judgement. The fear of being labeled a bad mom. So no matter which way we turn, new mothers are stuck.

Recently, Chrissy Tiegen tweeted something that shouldn’t have been controversial, but it was: Normalize formula.

She discussed how difficult it was with her new baby because she struggled to produce enough milk. This is another common hurdle that new mothers face.

Now, I could get into some specifics of how I feel she suffered from a lack of proper breastfeeding education—as so many of us do. Not everyone has access to a lactation consultant. Not everyone knows where to look online for the best info. (Please see below for an excellent resource if you need one.) Pumping milk is not a good indicator of your supply level; not everyone responds well to a pump. The best way to feed your baby is straight from the source. But, like so many other mothers, Chrissy feared that she would not know if her baby was getting enough.

I could address that further... BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

The point is that motherhood is stressful enough. Anxiety and fear are already constant. We don’t need to add to the plate.

Yes, most of us know that “breast is best”… And for those that don’t, we need to normalize breastfeeding and provide more education.

But, do you know what else? We should normalize formula, too. Because, guess what, a whole generation of us kiddos were raised on formula and we’re fine! I am a formula baby. Both my brothers are formula babies. We are all perfectly healthy.

Do you get more nutrients if you buy only organic vegetables and produce? Yes. But, organic food is expensive and not everyone can afford it. Feeding your baby a non-organic apple still gets them vitamins.

Of course we all want to give our babies the absolute best of the best. Not all of us are able to for a variety of different reasons, none of which are indicators that we are bad parents or that we don’t love our children. So, you know what’s not helpful? Feeling judged!

We need to make the path for new mothers easier not harder. There are enough obstacles as it is.

If you are able to breastfeed—wonderful! I really struggled at first but, with a lot of perseverance, I am finally at a point where it is effortless.

But, if for some reason you can’t breastfeed—whether it be because of supply or even just your own mental health—that’s okay too!

Either way, you’re feeding your baby. You are keeping them alive. That’s what mothers do. And just because you can’t give your kid all the best organic foods doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a good mother than those that can.

Let’s just normalize being a mother and doing the best we can. Let's normalize supporting each other.

(If you are in need of an excellent resource on breastfeeding, please check out the Kelly Mom blog. https://kellymom.com/blog/ This was recommended to me by both my lactation consultant and my midwife and it has all the information you need. In particular it discusses a lot of the misconceptions when it comes to knowing when your supply is low. The best and only true indicator is whether your little one is gaining weight. Please refer there for more info.)