National Siblings Day!
April Fools! I have a sister!
National Siblings Day…
The day was founded after Claudia Evart, lost both her siblings early in life. She chose April 10 because that was the birthday of her late sister, Lisette.
Unlike Claudia Evart, I gained one more sibling on April Fools Day!
Quick backstory: I grew up an only child with a hard-working, spiritual, beautiful black mother and sperm donor for a father. I was raised in an unhealthy environment, but my parents did their best to keep my rose-colored glasses on my face, as to not disturb my innocence tremendously.
However, one major mistake that a parent can (deliberately) make is separate their child from their parent, and their siblings! If you have a narcissist for a parent—then you understand their agenda to maintain control and upkeep a “picture-perfect” image of themselves. This is still the case for my father. Anyway, my father did a lot of dirt back in the day (still to this day as we speak) and damaged the relationships with the women in his life. Important side-note: Typically, once an abuser, always an abuser—unless they get help. An abuser does not fully acknowledge their toxic past/try to make amends with the survivors. They are egoistic and live in this imaginary world that everybody is out to get them. *cough* R. Kelly *cough* If you’ve been a good spouse to your S.O., word around town should not be that they’re working to get a restraining order against you!
I was elementary-school age when I learned that I had an older brother. Our father's excuse was that his mother was “bitter” and that’s why he stayed out of his son’s life. No, mothafucka, she was smart enough to leave yo ass! Some time passed and I learned that I had a younger sister. I would ask questions about both of them, more specifically my brother because it wasn't a definite that I had a sister.
August 11, 2013 marks the happiest day of my life! I remember this moment clear as day. I was getting off the bus at the sheriff station after a week of being a youth counselor at camp UPAC in Big Bear... It was over-cast and my mom and dad met me on the curb with the other parents waiting to pick-up their children. My dad was carrying my suitcase to the car while I rambled about my experience at the camp. When we got to the car—my heart skipped a beat!
It was him! I was in love with my brother before he even knew that I existed. I squealed and ran into his burly embrace. The four of us ate at In-N-Out and I couldn’t stop cheesin’! I finally met my big brother... He came back home with us to Las Vegas for a week, but let me tell you... My life washed away when he had to leave ME, his one and only baby sister (at the time this is what I thought), and fly back home to Buena Park, CA.
It’s been five years since my mom and I escaped prison from that sad, sad excuse for a man. Over these five years, my brother and I have tried to strengthen our relationship, but as of February, we’re closer than ever! We had a “little” incident happen between us a few months ago that we were too scared to address and talk out. So, we were pretty awkward with each other after that situation. Until he called me one afternoon and an hour into our conversation he did the right thing as a big brother and asked me what happened. Why did we fall-off afterwards? Finally! We had a safe moment to be vulnerable with each other, express our fears, and validate the other siblings concerns. Since then, we’ve been ace coom boom. Our relationship is stronger than ever!
Jump ahead to March. I felt something pull at my heartstrings. I purchased an Ancestry DNA test. My logic: If I can’t know the rest of my family, I at least deserve to know my roots. So the results came back March 30. March 31st, I found that my auntie had purchased a test as well because it listed her as a relative. A light bulb went off over my head! April 1, I log onto PeopleFinders.com and search out father's name. I found our grandmother's and grandfather's contact information. Maaan, living in the 21st century is DOPE! I sent the screenshots to my brother then we called our grandmother...
Almost an hour into exchanging words, answering questions, and reminiscing... We find out that we do have a sister! Honeyyyy... There is absolutely no mistaking that we’re all related—from our cheeks, button nose, lip structure, to the ratio of our eyebrows to corner of our eyes.
Our father created some beautiful ass kids!
In closing: April 1st was the best day of my life! My big family was finally complete and I felt whole for the first time in my twenty-two years of life.
To my readers: Never give up. Don’t hold resentment in your heart against those who hurt you because you’re only hurting yourself. Surround yourself with good-spirited individuals who bring out the best qualities in you. Stay away from those who trigger you. Recognizing that you need help is the first step.
From Drake’s Outro “From Time,” Baka stated, “Y’all need to know yourselves!”
Your Favorite Pretty Girl
The virtual words of an expressive 90s baby typed, revised, and publised.. Not for the faint of heart - unless you're ready for a good cry on self-reflection, and a gut-wrenchin' laugh! IG @astianaalissia