My Sister, My Friend

Dear Jill,

I know you cannot read or understand this letter but I want to write this to you anyhow to express what a strong, wonderful big sister you are and always will be to me. I know that your illness has robbed you of so many things...your memory, your independence and the life you once lived. Since our mother had this horrible disease, Frontotemporal Dementia, which is highly genetic, there was a good chance it would be passed on to one or maybe even more of her children. I guess we all have the chance of being stricken by this disease and I want you to know how sorry I am that you have it now. You are such a young woman at only 57 years of age but you built yourself such a wonderful life. You are a wife, mother, sister, and friend. And you were a great teacher for over 30 years. Anyone who battles such a debilitating disease has to be a strong person.

I have so many good memories of us growing up together. Since we are only three years apart in age, we did so many things together. We shared a bedroom, we played with our Barbie dolls together and we even spent a year or two in the same school. In fact, I chose the college I attended because that is where you were at. You were always the sweetest person never giving our parents any problems whereas I was a bit of a problem child. Even though our personalities were different, we always got along. Yes, we had our fights like all siblings do but we always got over them fairly quickly. You always took such good care of me and I want you to know how much I appreciate it. As we got older, we continued to be close. When you got married I was your maid of honor and when you had your first child I was her godmother. I was also your #1 babysitter! The funny thing is that as we got older we sort of switched personalities. You turned into a little bit of a “wild child” and I became the “homebody”. I would babysit for you on Saturday nights while you went to the clubs dancing!

You are a great wife and mother. Your children are grown now and are wonderful, successful people. Now that you can’t care for yourself, your children take good care of you. And your husband cares for you the majority of the time. Who would think he could do such a great job coloring your hair and painting your nails? I am going to make an appointment with him to get my nails done he does such a great job! Your daughter who has a very demanding job and who lives hours away, comes home often to see you and she takes you to all your favorite places. Because you always took such great care of your children it taught them to take such great care of you. You were a strong, independent woman and now your daughter is just like you.

Teaching was such a big part of your life and you continued your studies eventually becoming a Reading Specialist. You also taught English as a Second Language and I know how much you loved that in particular. You loved your students so much you would even visit them during summer breaks taking them for walks and doing other fun things with them. All the other teachers loved you too. I know you might not realize it now but many of them still visit you and take you places. Now those are good friends, they stuck with you even during the sad times. Many of the other teachers also think about you and often ask how you are doing. You always were an easy person to get along with and you had many friends for as long as I can remember. Your college friends even still keep in touch and come to see you occasionally.

In conclusion, I just want you to know how much I love you and I am so glad I have you in my life. You may not remember all the good times we had together but I think about them everyday. I couldn’t have asked for a stronger, sweeter, funnier, or more lovable person to go through life with. You will forever and always be my wonderful big sister.

Love always,

Margie