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My House Is Dirty

Maybe yours, too. Should we feel guilty?

By Loida CPublished 7 years ago 4 min read
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My house is dirty. Yes, I know. You're all thinking, "Surely not so much. Mine is much worse. Etc, etc." But believe me, it is dirty. At first glance, it does not look like it. But I have moved recently, and I've taken a few surprises.

Maybe the description of my house sounds familiar to you. Spread all over different parts of the floor, which I can more or less keep clean, there are toys of different shapes and sizes, with which we stumble. Some make noise and music, which makes it even more fun to stumble.

Dirty dishes in the kitchen sink never disappear. The laundry basket is never empty and the mountain of ironing clothes grows much faster than it decreases.

All the mirrors and crystals of the house are full of the little prints of a precious and tiny hand. Some have the marks that have been left by that same hand, when trying to clean them with a wipe full of cream.

As I said, around the furniture, sofas, shelves and so on, the floor is clean. But please do not try to move them and look underneath.

My car carries a mix of toys, cookie crumbs, missing pacifiers, and water bottles. And I could go on with the refrigerator, the oven, or the shelves that are too high to make eye contact with, but I think you got the idea.

My house is a home, not a palace. It is cozy, clean enough for my little girl to play on the floor or for our friends to come visit us, has scented candles and warm lights, and smells like vanilla. It is our home. But it’s not ready for an unexpected royal visit. The reason is simple: I do not spend the day cleaning. I guess in the opinion of many, I should do it, since I am a housewife. But I don’t do it.

Do not get me wrong, I love order and cleanliness. Since I was very young, the mess created anxiety in me, I needed to have everything perfectly clean and tidy around me. So when our little girl arrived and we made the decision that I would stay at home with her, we also made another decision: to prioritize. We decided that our little girl would be the first and most important thing.

Our children need the best of our time and in great quantity. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing that, because we are home with our children, we are giving them the time they need. But it is not necessarily so. When we are constantly busy with our many occupations, to the point that we lack the time and energy to sit on the floor playing with our children, we are doing something wrong. When, at the end of the day, our house is impeccable, but our shoes are not dirty from playing on the street with our little ones, we have done something wrong. If we have managed to finish all our tasks but our bellies don't hurt from all the laughing, we have done something wrong.

My house is dirty, it's true. We have given up a perfect house. But in exchange, we have obtained much more.

We've got laughter and games since we wake up, even before we get out of bed; sessions of hugs and cuddles at any time of the day; pages and pages of our notebook decorated with flowers and hearts; long walks in the countryside watching bugs, picking flowers and caressing horses; long afternoons playing ball in the garden or building the tallest tower in the world to topple it after...

We’ve got a place full of games, laughter, hugs, tickles, without hurry, and without looking at the clock. We have obtained a place full of love and trust, in which we can rest easy knowing that people will always be above everything else. We have exchanged our house for a home.

Long ago we made the decision that what is urgent would not steal the time for what is important. But it is a decision that we must continue to make every day, every moment. Whenever I am cleaning or studying and my little one comes to me with a book or with his doll, I need to make the same decision again.

I will not always be able to please her. Some tasks cannot wait. And it is in those moments when she will learn to handle her frustration. But never more than necessary.

This is her time, her moment. Our moment. Someday, my little girl will be ready to fly, and she will leave. Then I will have plenty of time again and my house will shine again like glass. But not yet. This is her moment, and I need to make sure that I do not regret a minute I have been given at his side; that I will look back and smile remembering all the things we have done together, without having to regret all the things we didn’t do.

I need that, after flying away, my "little one" will come home from time to time to receive more of the love and attention she received in her home. And when that happens, I'll leave what I'm doing and sit with her to laugh, cry, play and remember.

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