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My Grandfather: A Man Ahead of His Time

An Everyday Australian Hero

By L. O'SheaPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Abstract Australian Landscape in Watercolour painted by the author

If life is a test of compassion, then my grandfather excels. I often wonder who he could've been, if he'd allowed himself to be unquestioningly moulded by his environment.

Born on 10th December 1930, Patrick O'Shea grew up during the Great Depression as the son of an Irish man: and no one wanted to hire the Irish. His father, Walter O'Shea, had served in World War One. He carried both physical and psychic scars during a time where mental health was not well understood. I've no doubt Walter did his best, but I often wonder how the struggles of trauma and unemployment manifested themselves in his daily life and the effects this would've had on an only child. My grandfather often describes his childhood as lonely, yet lucky; at least they had a roof over their heads.

That loneliness led him to seek connection and he found that through stories, particularly historical ones. He was very close to his mother, Irene O'Shea; I remember him animatedly showing me books that had belonged to her, many of which had a historical theme. He's been a collector of stories for as long as I can remember, always seeking out written pieces of history from his friends and neighbours. During retirement he joined the Chermside Historical Society, where he recorded and organised stories nearly lost to time. It is very important to him that history is remembered, because as he often says: "history doesn't repeat itself, but it does echo".

One of my great-grandmother's books that my grandfather has kept

My grandfather is also shaped by his faith; he is a catholic man, still dutifully attending church every week. It was through church that he met my grandmother, Lois Lovegrove, who would become Lois O'Shea. She was witty, clever, and cheeky; she was calm where he was anxious, she was affable where he was shy, and she was good with numbers while he had a love of history. But in their faith, they were the same; they chose to frame belief through a lens of compassion. For my grandfather's part, I always wonder if his love of human history has imbued him with a compassionate mindset for Catholicism, or if Catholicism imbued him with a compassionate mindset for human history.

Whichever the case, he always chooses compassion. He lived through the White Australia Policy, segregation, and the Stolen Generation. He was raised during a time where the ultimate aim for the Australian indigenous people was to "merge" them into white society by stealing children of mixed descent; erasing culture, language, and connection to country. He grew up in an environment that glorified white European descent and actively portrayed non-European peoples as an existential threat to society. Much of this deep cultural racism remains today; many of those who supported these policies are still here, and not all of them have learned for the better. I am proud that my grandfather was not, and is not, one of these people. As a small child in the mid-nineties, I remember reading the titles of every book on the bookshelves scattered throughout the house, with titles like: "White Australia Has A Black History". I remember talking with my grandfather about how uninspiring our national anthem is: we cannot be "young and free" when Australia has the oldest living culture on earth, one that continues to suffer from the binds of intergenerational trauma inflicted upon it.

The one line my grandfather appreciates from Advance Australia Fair is "for those who've come across the sea, we've boundless plains to share": but he believes the sentiment is better captured by "we are one, but we are many, and from all the lands on earth we come", from I Am Australian by the Seekers. Not only does this unofficial national anthem properly honour ancient aboriginal cultures, it actively promotes the reality; Australia is what it is because of the multitude of cultures that contribute to it.

My grandfather was also raised in a society where homosexuality wasn't just sinful, but openly portrayed as a sickness, with religion used to justify that. My grandparents would have four children together during the sixties, two of which would turn out to be gay. When my uncle came out to them, my grandparents were faced with two choices; abandon him, or accept him. They could have adopted the popular approach of the day and sent him to conversion therapy or made him homeless; instead, they chose love. They chose to learn everything they could about the LGBTQIA+ community and joined groups for parents of LGBTQIA+ people, making sure they could be the best parents possible for him. They paid no mind to what anyone else would think of this, or of them. Even forty years on, many parents could stand to learn from them.

Even now, my grandfather chooses compassion in his everyday life. For decades, he'd wake up early every morning and ride his bike through the nearby park, clearing it of all the trash left behind from the night before. He talks to his neighbours and friends, preserving pieces of their lives in an Australian historical narrative. He makes sure the big moments of our past are never forgotten, pushing local councils to repair public memorials and plaques. He talks to new Australians to make sure they feel welcomed and part of the community, avidly listening to their journey here.

My grandfather is a man ahead of his time: he could have allowed himself to be moulded into a homophobic racist by the popular ideals of the past. He could have taken his faith, and extracted biblical passages to justify that. But he didn't; instead, he chose "love one another", devoting himself to human stories. In his quiet and consistent way, my grandfather has taught me that we do not choose the circumstances in which we are born and raised, but we do choose who we become.

grandparents
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About the Creator

L. O'Shea

If you like science, mobsters, fantasy novellas, and ancient humans, then this is probably the profile for you.

Call of the Crow series: New chapters released fortnightly!

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