Multi-Family Living

In our house we have 4 different House Holds even though we live under the same roof and most of us are family, that also includes a friend we are helping out.

The house was bought by my mom (who passed April 2020) and my sister Donna who has Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy.

When mom made the decision to purchase this house, it was so I could move in with my 3 year old daughter and help with Donna’s care and finances. I got married to my daughter’s father 5 years later with the understanding that we would be living in mom’s house.

We made room a few times here and there for friends who needed a place to stay, even people we had just met. Mom and I always found a way.

My youngest sister had been away to college and had something unfortunate happen and had to come home where she made the decision to keep the baby and love him unconditionally.

Now there were 7 under one roof.

Some of us have disabilities that limit some - much of what we do on a daily basis, each day is a challenge of its own.

Mom was a always doing something, housework, yard work, taking care of dogs, bills, people, listening to Joel Osteen, watching Elevation Church online, contacting her friends, learning the computer, contacting her kids and other family members. She was a force to be recond with.

Then her brother came to live with us till his passing and there were 8 of us.

We had my Uncle pass, a few months later then my husband’s mom, 2 years later my mom and then my dog passed.

I was a mess, we were a mess (are).

Now there was 6 of us in the house and the dynamics have Drastically changed. Who is to be Head of the house, the one in charge as mom had done for so many years?

Changes had to be made, some gradual and still in process while other changes were drastic and hard to adapt to.

Cooperation and consideration are a must, plus Communication!

Things were in caos, COVID-19 happened!

To overcome challenges, we have to sit down and go over things we need, problems, things we want to do, chores, bills, animal/people care, menu options where there are different dietary needs in the house, yard work & taking care of pets; grieving and remembering those who are gone. How to help others in need.

Communication has been Key to working together because when we don’t, things get overwhelming really fast with 6-7 people living under the same roof even without disability issues, disability issues provide different challenges of their own. Not expecting other people to do everything for you, taking responsibility for self and your child, plus the care of animals and property in itself is a full time job!

People who work and balance all the above, I have great admiration for; adding a job on top of all this was a lot of work when I could go to work.

We look forward to game nights, movie time, music and playing pool or darts in the garage. The guys and the kids love it when we can grill the meat even if it is cold outside.

My youngest sister and her son both choose to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ instead of he or she most of the time and prefer to think of themselves as “gender fluid”. They receive a lot of negative come backs even from family members, yet each day is treated as a new day and a Positive new beginning.

My sister Donna’s health continues to decline and we are slowly approaching the stage where she will not be able to walk even with a walker, maybe even bed ridden.... until that happens, she looks forward to game night and time with her boyfriend who is also disabled. Donna looks forward to getting up when shy and and having time with her niece and nephew.

This year since she (53) will not be able to go trick or treating With the kids, we posted in Facebook for those looking for a safe place to trick or treat, to rsvp goody gloves (bags) to bring the kids to pick up on Halloween. Donna gets to dress up and hand the goodies out to the kids and their families and she is so excited! We just love the kid side of her so much.

My husband, daughter and I try to make sure we also have our family time, plus it is important for my husband and I to get away together once in a while so we can keep our sanity!

I know we are not the only ones with several family members living under the same roof, this is starting to be a thing where the economy has gotten so bad, jobs are scarce, prices are high, products are in high demand and becoming scarce at a steady rate.

Just know you are not alone, we are here for you and keeping everyone in our thoughts and prayers daily.

Together, we can accomplish and build each other up with positivity and encouragement.

There is nothing we can’t get through together.