Mom Shaming

Imagine being so excited to be a mom. You're pregnant, you're glowing. You're ready to have the amazing little human you're growing in your arms and with you to love and cherish forever. (If yours went this well. My pregnancy sucked and other people also ruined it for me).

DISCLAIMER: Before reading any further, if you aren't comfortable with a mom who swears, this is not the article for you. I wouldn't recommend reading any further.

So let's get right to it!

Here's the bullshit that no one tells you about. All of the men and women in the world that think they can give you an opinion on every single little thing that you can and can't do, because you're a mom now!

This shit is so real ladies. I didn't realize how real it was, until I have had other moms in my house.

"Oh, your kid isn't doing that yet?"

"Oh your kid isn't eating real food yet."

Oh, what you think your kid is better than mine because they can eat adult foods and mine is still eating baby food? News flash! I give way more f*cks about my doctor's opinion than yours honey!

Now I am not just talking about little things like that.

It is some of the most petty shit I have seen. And I am talking about all kinds of things I have read all over social media, a big one being TikTok, not just shaming I have gotten.

You're too fat to be dressing that way.

You're too fat to be posting those kind of videos.

You have too many tattoos, that looks trashy. (Personal favorite that I get ALL OF THE F*CKING TIME)

You shouldn't have face piercing when you're a mom. (Another Fave)

You shouldn't be dressing like that, you're a mom.

You shouldn't be dressing sexy, moms don't do that.

That last one really gets me.

Like, what?!

Are you kidding me!?

Step the f*ck back honey. Just because we have kids doesn't mean that we can't be sexy. We can dress however the hell we want! That's our right as a human, and if you don't like it. Don't look at us. Keep scrolling. Keep your shitty comments to your self, ain't one woman wants to hear them.

STOP MOM SHAMING!

There are enough moms who are really trying their hardest. They're falling apart inside trying to keep it together, then a**holes like you have to come along with your comments and just destroy them. Destroy everything they have kept inside for so long, because they are trying to keep it together for their kids.

I'm guilty of it. I have broke down because of the things people say about me. Judging my tattoos and piercings I have.

"You really shouldn't get anymore tattoos."

"They look trashy."

"Why would you do that to your body?"

Guess what?

IT ISN'T EVEN YOUR BODY!!!!!!

WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?!?!?!!

I can't speak for all women, we all handle things differently,but....

As one that suffers from severe depression, I battle with my own head constantly. I have cried more in the past 3 weeks than I have in my entire life. I cry myself to sleep all of the time. I cry in the bathroom. I cry in the shower. I cry when I'm alone so nobody has to see me. I have to go cry in another room because, my daughter will start crying if she sees me crying. She's 7 months old and has more empathy than some of the people trolling on the internet. She hates seeing me hurt. That's why I don't let her see me hurt. I even try not to let Ty see my cry. He doesn't take it well either. He doesn't like to see me hurt either. I hate being the one to make someone else cry because I can't handle my own shit, so I put on a smile and say f*ck it. If I'm smiling nobody knows what's wrong. It's an unhealthy defense mechanism I have developed over the years.

I am constantly failing at being a mom in my own mind. I suck at cleaning most of the time. I suck at doing the laundry. If I do get it done, it hardly ever gets put up. I suck at making dinner for my fiancé, who deserves the absolute world and half of the time I can't even give him that. My daughter and him deserve so much better than me, but this is what I am. So I try my damn hardest to bust my ass and try to keep them both happy when I am crumbling and losing it inside. I try not to let things get to me but bad thoughts just keep popping back up at some point.

You're fat. You're ugly. You're not good enough. You never will be good enough. You're a bad mom. You're a bad spouse. You're pathetic.

I know they're only words, but they're embedded in my brain forever. I don't know if all of the therapy in the world can help me get rid of that shit.

Not only is there body shaming, there's the actual mom shaming.

"I can't believe you don't stay at home and go to work every day."

"I can't believe you stay home and do nothing all day long, must be nice."

"MUST BE NICE" (I wish you could see my face typing this)

That specific phrase make me want to throat punch someone.

Must be nice. What!? Must be nice taking care of your kid 24/7. Not getting any breaks. Then also cooking, cleaning, laundry, and whatever other madness goes on in your house. Now, yes. I did sign up for this. It is my job to be a mom, I chose to have my daughter. That doesn't mean I have to enjoy being a mom every single day. I am allowed to have a bad day, or several bad days. Who are you to tell me that I can't? Every mom deserves to have her bad days.

WE ARE ONLY HUMAN. ONE HUMAN AT THAT.

Being a mom is hard. I give props to the women who go out and work every day. Then come home and take care of the kids, house, and their man. You are some boss bitches!

Then there are the single moms. Do you think that any woman has a baby wanting to be a single mom? Uh, No. Nobody that I know of goes into a relationship thinking that. I don't know how some of ya'll do it. That's the hardest one right there. Doing it all, playing both parts, and still keeping yourself together enough to your kids always think you're okay and are't dealing with something deep and dark. You go ladies! You're the real VIPS!

Then there's the household shaming

"Do you really let your kids eat that?"

"Do they really watch TV that much?"

"Why is your kid so hooked on technology?"

"Why don't you have a nicer looking house, you're home all day."

"You Swear Too Much"

I'll say it a little louder for the women in the back:

BEING A MOM IS HARD.

Sometimes we don't feel like cleaning. Sometimes we don't feel like doing much. Sometimes we sit on our phones all day and that's okay.

My 7 month old loves watching cartoons. She loves playing little fun games on my giant Ipad. She loves playing with my phone, because she knows it has her favorite cartoon on it and that's how we FaceTime grandma. (She holds the phone herself when she FaceTimes with grandma). So get off my ass. My kid, my rules.

Yes. I swear too much and I know it, but does that mean I care? Nope. I don't. My kids will learn what words we say and don't say. I know when I should and shouldn't swear around my kids. Don't like it, get out of my house, get off my social media. You'll be seriously offended. Again, I don't really care.

If you have/had kids. You had/have your chance to raise them, back the hell off of mine.

If you don't have kids? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! You have absolutely no right to be telling a mom how to take care of her kids if you don't have any yourself. Get in your own lane honey.

At the end of the day, answer these questions for me:

1) Is your kid/s clothed/has clothing? (Idc if you let them run around naked, as long as they have clothes available)

2) Is your kid/s clean and has good hygiene?

3) Have you fed your kid/s today and they're full and happy?

4) Did you love your kid/s today? (Hug them, cuddle them, say I love you, whatever your form of love is)

5) Most importantly, is your kid/s happy?

If you can say yes to the questions. You're doing great momma!

If you can't, you're still doing great momma. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need some. There is always someone out there willing to help you. You've got this!

You're beautiful and don't let anyone make you question that.

Just because you don't fit into their stereotype of the "Perfect Mom" or "Good Mom" doesn't mean you aren't.

I have tattoos, piercings, jiggly thighs, and some love handles, I probably won't ever fit into their stereo types. And that's just fine with me.

You're trying your best and that's all that matters.

I love every single one of you ladies!

Follow me on TikTok to see some fun videos.

My daughter and I will be doing a fun TikTok challenge today just to piss off some people.

Come join in the fun.

And let's blow this up. Let the mom's out there know that they're aren't alone. There is a whole group of us on TikTok that would love to be your friend. That app has some of the most support, amazing, confident women I have ever seen. It's honestly pretty amazing. Check them out, they might just make your day.

Til Next Time!