Mom Guilt

With motherhood comes the natural inclination to take care of and desire all the best for your child. However, mom guilt is the unwanted, intrusive thoughts that create doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty concerning decisions relating to motherhood. Just like all feelings, these feelings of guilt come and go and can be the cause of a number of different factors. Society, personal insecurities, lack of trust in one's self, pressure from family or friends, social media, and/or many other factors can play into why a mother may feel guilt about how she chooses to raise her child. Even though it is common for a mom to experience "mom guilt," it's not impossible to beat!

Here are just a few ideas on how to beat these negative feelings:

Ask for help when you need it. There comes occasions for each of us when we need help. Don't be too afraid to ask a trusted friend, family member, doctor, or counselor for help. Sometimes it helps to listen to the advice of someone else, even if you end up not following exactly as they say. Which leads into the next tip...

Don't listen to everyone's advice. Everyone has an opinion, literally everyone. But that doesn't mean that you should listen to everyone, especially if they give advice that you didn't ask for. It's possible to be different and not agree with someone's method of parenting and still be polite and even friends. In the end you get to make the decisions that you believe are best for your child and yourself. Do not allow other people to guilt trip you into changing your mind.

Don't listen to how everyone defines you as a mother. Depending on your personality and how people see you interact with your child, people will automatically put you in categories. A few examples may be, "You're such a chill mom!," or "You're so paranoid, stop being such a helicopter mom." Remember YOU are the mother and you get to decide how you want to raise your child. When people make comments like these, it's usually harmless and funny but not really that person's business. If you feel like someone is crossing a line, tell them. And if it's something you agree with and can joke about, that's cool too.

Listen and interact with your child. This sounds like an obvious tip but honestly a lot of mom guilt comes from feeling like we're not spending enough time with our child/children. One way to solve this is to set aside some non-interrupted time during the day to spend quality time together. Set aside all of the distractions such as phones, the to-do list, house chores, or work related business and just enjoy each others company. When you know the truth, which is that you spend time with your child and listen well, it's easier to escape the guilt that tries to sneak up.

Take time for yourself. Motherhood is constant and always demands attention. However, it is important to take some time to yourself as well. Often moms feel guilty for taking time for themselves, but it is so so necessary! For example, an uninterrupted shower, going out for coffee with friends, or working out, can be really helpful to refocus your mind. With a fresh set of eyes and some time to be yourself, you can be more patient with your child as well as make more well thought out decisions.

Remember Mama, be gentle with yourself. We're all learning as we go and no one is perfect. It's okay to mess up sometimes or get a little impatient. This season will pass so enjoy every moment.

I appreciate you taking time to read this. I apologize for not writing consistently lately but if you liked what you read please take a moment to like and share with friends and family. Also be sure to check out my profile to see more topics I've written on and if you're feeling generous my tips are always open. Thank you!