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Mental Roadblocks

How I’m Learning Not to Give Up Despite Feeling Like No One’s Listening

By Sandy GillmanPublished about a year ago • 4 min read
Mental Roadblocks
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

When I first wrote my Breast Pump article, I felt unstoppable, full of hope and excitement. Now, I feel empty and deflated. We’ve had a rough few weeks at my house and I feel like I’m hitting roadblocks, mental and external, at every turn. Does this mean it’s time to quit?

External Roadblocks

My first roadblock was when Vocal Media didn’t approve my Breast Pump article for publication. I searched their guidelines and couldn’t find a reason for it to be denied, so I got in touch with them. They were great, reviewed my article and decided there were no issues and it could be published. However, this process took over a week. I got the notification that it was published at 2 am when I was up with my son who was unwell and had stopped feeding. I was in the midst of a sick household, and I felt like the “Breast Pump” moment had passed and I’d moved on.

My second roadblock was Facebook rejecting my listing for the breast pump on Marketplace. I’d done my research and found several ads for used breast pumps on Facebook Marketplace, so I thought posting my ad would be simple. My breast pump had only been used once, so surely someone would want it. Well, my ad was rejected immediately as I was selling a medical item and they don’t allow this. I requested a review of my listing, but it was rejected a second time.

After having both my article and my Facebook listing rejected, I felt like the world was telling me to give up…and I almost did. At first, I felt like I had just spent so much precious time and energy on a project that was going to be swept under the rug like my son’s leftovers, but something inside of me just wouldn’t let it end there.

Mental Roadblocks

Probably the most brutal roadblocks are the ones I’ve created myself. Yep, the mental roadblocks constantly telling me I’m not good enough. I’ve now been sick for three weeks with the various illnesses my son is bringing home from childcare. On top of that, my son has also been unwell, meaning we’ve had a lot of broken sleep and none of us are operating at our full potential. Instead of being able to rest and recover, we have to keep going because we’re parents with responsibilities. I’m feeling so rundown and exhausted that I barely have the energy to cook dinner every night and do basic tasks. I’m feeling totally uninspired for writing ideas, and the negative thoughts are really creeping in.

I've pinned an article to one of my social media profiles and it's had 404 engagements which sounds great, but not one person has clicked on the link. It’s hard to not think that maybe my stories aren’t that relatable after all. I really thought reaching people via social media would be so simple, but it looks like I’m going to have to rethink my strategies.

I've found a couple of Facebook groups that will let me share links to my stories, that was a difficult task in itself! So many Facebook groups don't allow self-promotion, and even though, I feel like I'm just trying to offer advice to others, it's technically still classified as promotion. I'll post a link to one of my stories sharing some of the details and offering to chat with anyone who might be in a similar situation or need advice. I get so excited when I see someone has commented, only to discover that the commenter has a really great work-from-home opportunity (just cover the upfront costs to get started), or some amazing crypto investment idea and I should contact them for more details. That’s when I lose hope all over again. That elation of finally feeling like your words have spoken to someone, only to find out they haven’t even read your article can be soul-crushing.

Every day I deal with the rollercoaster of thoughts in my brain—climbing up, telling me to keep going and that I’m doing great, only to fly back down later, telling me I should give up because no one cares. The more tired and sick I feel, the less positive the thoughts are. It’s a constant day-to-day battle that I’m trying to win.

A Glimmer of Hope

On a positive note, I did end up having the courage to post a YouTube video. It only has 11 views so far, but the real takeaway here is I continued to follow through with my idea despite the negative thoughts telling me not to bother. It might seem like a small task, but this was my first personal YouTube video. I’ve made a few AI-generated videos about my articles. For me, stepping in front of the camera and sharing something personal, was a big step and I’m proud of myself for trying something new.

The purpose of this exercise was to jot down some thoughts to see where it all went. I’m really glad I did, because I realise, as I sit here to write this, I haven’t given up—I’m continuing to write. I’m not giving up, I’ll keep sharing. I will continue to work toward my goal of raising the funds to achieve Vocal+ status, a premium membership which grants me access to higher earnings, and exclusive content. But I think a few days of self-care might be in order first. When I’m feeling down, I like to do something I enjoy—usually watching horror movies. For some reason, I find this comforting. We have also decided to take a family holiday for a few days to get out of the house. I love to organise things, so I can get started on holiday plans!

Look after yourselves. I hope you can all find time for some self-care this week. ❤️

children

About the Creator

Sandy Gillman

I’m a mum to a toddler, just trying to get through the day. I like to write about the ups and downs of parenting. I hope you’ll find something here to laugh, relate to, and maybe even learn from. Author of Whispers in Your Mind

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    Written by Sandy Gillman