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Memaw Rose

The Summer of Change

By Kohaku Dragon Rose Published 3 years ago 7 min read
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Memaw Rose
Photo by Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash

That was the summer when my relationship with Memaw Rose changed. I spent nearly every childhood summer on the family farm with Memaw. That summer I was 15 years old. My memaw, the term my family used for grandma, lived on an expansive farm. In the middle of the lush, green acres sat the family home, a spacious four story stone house. The house has been in our family for generations. I’ve been told that when our ancestors were able to buy land it was a big deal. They even started a family graveyard on a ridge opposite of the house, which our family nicknamed “Over Yonder Forest”. Because of the tradition where we only use plain ol’ rocks to mark graves and plant fruit trees next to the rocks. After so many decades the trees have become a patch of woods. It's symbolic of the cycle of life and death, I believe. The older trees have even swallowed up the headstone rocks. We only know whose graves are whose by oral records. But as time progressed our family spread out and away from each other and the family land. Fortunately Memaw wrote down the names for the future generations.

I loved Memaw but til that summer I always felt like she was wearin’ a mask with everybody, like she had to pretend to be happy. My guess was losin’ her family at a young age and then pawpaw, my grandpa, early in their marriage had made it hard for her to get close to people. Even my dad said she was a gentle and sweet mama but oddly distant at the same time. Her family died in a traffic accident and pawpaw died when a mine he was workin’ in collapsed. the distance between us made visits awkward. I kept thangs from gettin’ too awkward by stayin’ busy with chores. Waterin’ gardens, feedin’ animals, and repairin’ anythang’ that needed it. I also took hikes through the woods and climbed trees. Not the grave trees of course, even though I ate fruit from them. Climbin’ them just felt disrespectful while eatin’ the fruit felt like acceptin’ a gift from my ancestors. My favorite tree to climb was a massive pear tree next to the house. I remembered one summer when I played with a young girl under that same tree. I was around five years old at the time so I don’t remember her name or where she was from. But I did remember that she wore a bright, white dress and had braided hair. Memaw didn’t even remember her at all. I had always assumed she was a guest at the campground that lays south to our land. It was a quaint place down in a holler with a creek runnin’ through it. Sometimes campers wandered onto our land by mistake when they lost their way on the trails. I kinda hoped she would be back this summer. I needed a friend my age to pal around with.

A week or so into my stay we got word that my memaw’s cousin had passed away of old age. Memaw and I were busy the next few days makin’ arrangements and preparin’ rooms. Memaw seemed sad but kept it to herself. She would just smile at me like always buryin’ the emotions. Most of the family arrived days before service to help finish preparations and mourn together. I got to see my parents and hang out with relatives my age. The wife of the recently deceased was the first to arrive. She handed me an antique ring box and told me it was for memaw. I knew exactly what it was without askin’. When my memaw was a young’un, one of her uncles bought every child in the family a custom made ring. They had been mostly passed down to the next generations but this cousin didn’t have children. I opened the box, his ring was silver with a square piece of onyx embedded into the band. Memaw’s was gold, set with a pink sapphire heart. Her twin sister had one that matched, she told me, but it was lost when she died. “I don’t know if you’ll like it, but ya can have it. It ain’t my style and I already got one.” Memaw informed me after I handed the box off to her. I accepted the ring and wore it to the service a few days later. It was huge on my skinny finger but I managed not to lose it. The service was in the mornin’ and an apple sapling was planted on his grave. Right after the service we had a BBQ to celebrate his life.

The next mornin’ everyone headed out and I went to climb the pear tree afterwards. I was about ten feet up when the branch supportin’ my feet broke. I came tumblin’ down fast but I also felt somethin’ catch me so that I landed softly. I looked up into the tree, on instinct and saw the young girl I had played with years ago. She looked exactly the same! White dress, braided hair, even her face and height was the same. Instead of bein’ scared my first reaction was to climb the tree again to join her. But on my first step part of the bark came loose from the tree and I fell on my rear end. I looked up again and she had disappeared. As I was gettin’ up and tryin’ to comprehend everythang’ that just happened, somethin’ caught my eye. Stickin’ outta the bald spot the bark left behind was the corner of a rock. A chill ran across my shoulders like snowflakes were dancin’ on them. It was a grave tree, I had been climbin’ a grave tree! But why was it so far from the “Over Yonder Forest”?! In a panic I ran inside and told memaw all that had happened. “Whose grave is that, memaw?” Is the question I finished my story with. Memaw took a deep breath and turned away from me to hide her tears. “That's Lily’s grave, my twin sister. The girl ya saw looked like her”

“I thought she died with Great grandpa and ma?” I replied

Memaw finally broke down and cried for about 15 mins before she was able to answer. “No, I killed her! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to!” She screamed. I held her hand and got her calm enough to explain. When they were about six, they climbed the pear tree. They loved to hang out in the tree together. One day to tease her sister, Memaw shook the branch she was standin’ on. She didn’t think it would break and she never thought such a short fall would be deadly, but it was. Lily landed on her neck instantly killin’ her. Memaw had never told anyone, even her parents exactly what happened. She held in the guilty of what she thought was murder for 59 years.

“I know it won’t do any good, but I just gotta go and see if I can see her too! I need to apologise, I need to tell her I love her and miss her.”

Memaw and I went out to the ol’ pear tree. She looked down at the rock jettin’ out of the tree. “ I ain’t seen that in years, I knew how much Lily loved this tree and I insisted she was buried under it. I was still young, like I was way back then.” She bent down and touched the stone. When she raised up we both heard a noise and turned. There was Lily standin’ near the tree, starin’ and pointin’ down towards its roots. We walked closer, memaw tried to talk to her but she just kept pointin’

“I think she is tryin’ to show us somethin’, Memaw” I went to investigate and found a small borrow under all the grass. After a moment of fear I reached in and grabbed a small ring box. My eyes widened, I recognized that kind of ring box. Without openin’ it I handed it to Memaw, who was still tryin to talk to Lily. She was apologisin’ and tellin’ her how much she missed her. When she got a gander at the box she fell silent and immediately opened it. There it was the matchin’ gold ring with a heart-shaped Jewel. Memaw started to cry again and Lily walked up to her and hugged her. In an ethereal voice Lily said “I love you too! I never blamed you, don’t blame yourself. It was an accident. I'm glad you can finally see me now, I’ve really missed talkin’ to you. I’ve been here waitin’ for you to find the ring but now I have to leave for good...Bye Rose, I love you sister!” And she faded away. Memaw fell to the ground cryin’. “It feels like so much has been lifted off of me! I feel like a new person!” She smiled at me as tears rolled down her cheeks. And that was the first genuine smile I ever saw from her, the first of many to follow.

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Kohaku Dragon Rose

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