Marriage=Work

Marriage is not an easy task. It requires a lot of work on oneself and as a whole. Before you both get married, you must know a little bit about one another, even during the marriage. I would like to share my experiences with you on how I manage my marriage and how my husband and I got better with ourselves and each other.

The Beginning:

I met my husband in November 2012. I was walking to the capitol one bank. We both had the idea of just using one another, no commitment, just sex. The universe had a different plan for the both of us and it took us years before coming to realization we were built and made for one another. I did make him wait until New Years day in 2013. We became pregnant two months later. We basically rushed into a relationship! We were having fun acting like little children in the house. November of 2013 we had our daughter, things got heated between us fast! My husband and I was always in turmoil. Whenever we get into an argument, I would take our daughter and be on the run every time. During our little break I would go back to doing me. Being a player was my thang! LOL. looking back now it was a hilarious but sad situation. I say this because I really didn't know who I was at the time and I had just left a very abusive relationship. I gave my husband a hard time, (as I thought!) Really I gave myself the hard time! When I reached the end of my road on July 4th 2018, I promised myself and my husband a new me, new attitude, new behavior. Of course my husband didn't believe me at first because I have ran with that line many times over, but my husband saw I was serious. I had felled into a deep depression, but I had a awaken of myself and how I was living. Living by a doubled-edge sword is no fun! believe me, I had lived most of my life like that. I had no guidance but my husband was willing to help and I was willing to work for it, no matter the cost. I had then realized that the prayer I had made as a child was granted to me. It was right in my face and I almost lost it, My husband and my daughter would have been gone if I didn't come to.

What it's like now:

My husband and I now are getting alone, of course there is some hiccup's in the marriage but it's worth it. We are now learning one another and accepting each other's flaws. It's not easy but we are getting it done. When I returned home to my husband and daughter, I became pregnant with our son who is (now 1yrs old). Life is peachy I can say because our marriage is getting stronger by the day and we are getting better with one another by the hour(Laughing). My husband was just telling me over the phone ( Hubby at work at the timing of our conversation) how he didn't except me to turn out this way! I laughed and said yeah I didn't either, but when we step aside and allow the universe to guide you anything is possible! Period! We are handling our emotions and ourselves better than ever.

My Suggestions and Experience's:

My experience has lead me to say this. Now what I am about to say is not written in stone. These are just my experience and suggestions. It's totally up to you to how to tackle your marriage.

1)I realized that I had to do work on my self. This is a most important step. Knowing who you are and what you want in life is crucial. Not knowing this everything will seem as if life is against you and your marriage just might go into shambles.

2)Patience, Patience, Patience! When your spouse does something or tell you they will do this and that sometimes it pays to have patience with them. they may not move like you do but you both complement each other if you didn't you wouldn't have got married right?

3) Wow this one goes right with patience. Do you know what it is? Well it's understanding. It's best to understand someone then to be understood. I say this because you must let yourself go to a certain extend. You can not be selfish!

4) Compromise. I can't say this enough. This aligns with 2 and 3. Now I am not saying to completely compromise your complete self, but to meet one another half way. There may be some areas you are good in that your mate may not be and there are some areas that your mate is good in that you may not be. All of this means you are both compatible. Do not let personality get in the way of your love for your mate. You both complement one another. For instance, My husband is not good with today's technology like I am and my husband shows me how to build character so I may be able understand people and look at principals not personality.

5)What would we do without Communication. We wouldn't get very far in our marriage our any relationship for the matter. Communication has to be there and strong. I sometimes have a hard time expressing myself to my husband and he would say slow down yourself and thoughts then say it. He can say this because he has witness how I have a hard time expressing myself. Sometimes I may have to be quiet just so I won't say anything offensive when we have our disagreements. It's okay to disagree without being disagreeable!

6) The final piece. You know it, come on....Trust. That's right! If I can't trust my husband or my husband can't trust me then we on the road to pure destruction and insanity. When you hit that side of the fence, you both have to ask yourselves why we in this relationship in the first place? Now this is where you look at the balance in your relationship. If the bad out weighs the good then it's best you both leave each other alone, but if the good out weighs the bad have a sit down talk, a serious note to figure out what may hold the both of you back from enjoying one another. If personality exist, please cast it to the side and look on the inside of your mate.

This is what has helped my marriage, all 6 of these character traits in my marriage has helped a ton. Of course I had to earn my husband's trust, but the work is worth it because I truly love my husband and I know he feels the same for me. My husband encouraged me to embark on my writing because he saw I have potential in this area of course I may need a touch-up but I don't mind. When you find someone to trust, call you on your stuff, and wants to nourish your potential you have found the one.

I hope you find my suggestions very helpful and I hope you implement them to have a better marriage and a better you. Enjoy your life and marriage

With love,

Kimica Sledge