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Mama’s Boy

Unwavering Love

By LWAPublished 5 years ago 6 min read
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When I found out I was pregnant, I thought I wanted a girl. I thought I could relate more to a girl; after all, I am a girl. We’re emotional, dramatic, sometimes needy, and always sassy. I thought of all the cute outfits I’d seen at Target and of all the cute matching photo shoots that could come to life. I imagined a little mini me who would wanna do everything I did...

When I was about 15 weeks along, we went to one of those early gender prediction ultrasounds and you kept your legs crossed almost the entire time. I had made sure to drink juice, and I even danced a little while we walked into the appointment, all in hopes that you’d wiggle around for us so we could get a view of your “parts." By the end of the visit, we’d almost given up completely until you finally gave us a quick glimpse.. I couldn’t tell what I was looking at right away but without hesitation the ultrasound tech told us that you would be a boy.

I thought I’d of been more disappointed than I was, but all I could do was smile. I caught a couple tears on my fingers as I stared at what I could now only see as my little, baby boy. A couple days later, I had a very vivid dream that I had delivered a beautiful, chunky baby boy and I remember seeing his face and knowing without a doubt that I was actually having a boy. At our 20 week anatomy scan they confirmed what I was already sure of. — A boy... I’ll admit, I was a bit nervous. How would I really understand a boy? I had a brother growing up and we were always at odds.. But I knew from the moment I got pregnant that I would love whoever I was growing with my whole heart, for my whole life.

A few months later we brought him into the world. His daddy was smiling at him and then back at me as they cleaned him up. They placed him in my arms and I cried with him.. Through my swollen eyes I stared at his perfect face. My boy. Just like my dream, my perfect, chunky, beautiful baby boy... He was (and still is) the most amazing little boy. I’m so proud to be his mother.

I’ve never doubted my ability to be his mom. Since his birth I have put all my love and effort into being the best mom I can be. There are days that I feel like I’ve failed him. There are days when I’m so drained from taking care of him that I fail to take care of myself. But without a doubt I know that he loves me and that gets me through. It’s the kind of love that’s unending and so pure. He love me no matter how bad I feel. Sometimes I watch him when he sleeps and marvel at all we’ve accomplished that day. Even if all we did was play in the living room floor all day. We made it to bedtime and sometimes that’s an accomplishment in itself..

People told me before I knew if he was a boy or girl, that it doesn’t matter what gender I have. That having a baby would show me what pure and total love is... They were so right. However, there is something to be said about the relationship between a boy and his mama. It is so different! When he falls, he scans a room full of people, for me. If he’s sleepy he searches for me to hold him and snuggle him in. If he wakes in the night he calms the second I pull him to my chest... He always wants to sit with me and show me things he’s found. He always has a smile for me. His first word was “mama”. For him, I am everything. The feeling is mutual.

The power a mother has with her children is simply magical. But the mother/son bond is incomparable. We are teaching our sons how to love. We are teaching them how to treat women. We are teaching them how to be good husbands, fathers, friends... It’s a daunting task. But like I’ve said, before I give all of my love and effort into my son. That will never change. I want him to be the best man he can be. I want him to succeed in all that he does! I guess that’s really the general goal for all mothers and their children.. We all want to raise intelligent, responsible, and independent men and women.

Being a mother to a boy has been the most rewarding experience. I was his first kiss & first hug. I’m his first love and his first friend. The relationship we’re building will be lifelong and unwavering. He is my everything and then a little more. It’s the kind of relationship girls have with their daddies. Indescribable yet we’ve all seen it. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

I wish time would slow down sometimes but I’m so excited to see who my son will be — will he play sports? Baseball, soccer, football? Will he like music like his daddy and I? Will he wanna play instruments or sing? Both?? Will he be artistic? A business man? A doctor? A scientist? All of these things will be amazing to see unfold before him. While his future is limitless and unknown there is one thing I will always be sure of, anytime he’s pushed as far as he can, when he scans a room full of people he will always find me. I will be there every step of his journey. Rooting for his successes and crying with him when he falls. Not a day goes by that my heart doesn’t swell with pride at all he does. He amazes me daily.

There will never come a time, when I look into my sons eyes, that I will not still see that chunky, newborn face looking back at me. He could be 1, 21, 61, 101. He will always be my baby. My first born. The one who made me a mother. I pray that life takes him higher and farther than his wildest dreams. I pray that he becomes a genuine, good hearted man. A loving and protecting husband and father. I pray he knows how loved and important he will always be to me. I pray he knows that when all else fails, there’s mama. There will always, always be mama. Any day, anytime, anywhere. Never forget: Until the day I die, mama’s got you sweet boy.

“She said, ‘I don’t care if you’re 80, you’ll always be my baby.’” ~

children
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About the Creator

LWA

Live (& Love) With Abandon 🖤🧿🔆🌸

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