Life of a first born

In many African cultures, the first-born child is considered the "protector" and "leader" of the family. They are often expected to be responsible, hardworking, and set a good example for their younger siblings.

As the first child, they may receive more attention and affection from their parents, but they also have higher expectations placed on them. They may be encouraged to pursue prestigious careers, such as medicine or law, that will bring honor to the family.

In addition to their own studies and responsibilities, they may also be expected to help care for their younger siblings and contribute to household chores. They may have less freedom and autonomy than their younger siblings, as their parents may feel a greater need to monitor and control their behavior.

Despite the high expectations and responsibilities, being the first-born child also affords certain privileges, such as inheriting property or becoming the head of the family upon their parents' passing.

You have to grow up fast, you have to take care of your siblings too much responsibilities on your shoulders, you have to protect your siblings from harm. There’s no time for you to be a child, you have to take over from your parents. Parents feel it’s okay for you to hear them fight or know the challenges they are going through or what’s going on in the house without looking for solutions. They pressurize you,parents impact on our life styles cause we look up to them and they affect how we think and act. We think the way they do things are right and want to follow on that footsteps. We take the blame of our siblings, they train us to be role models and prepare for leadership roles, we don’t have time to make mistakes cause we have to be perfect. Expectations are drilled into us from a young age and those expectations become burdens for us.

First borns are like experiments(practice) for parents to know if they want to bring more kids to the world and to know the right and wrong way to do things. First borns tend to not be open with their parents and not have a close relationship, first borns tend to keep their feelings and think they can do things without other people. We have to be strong for everybody meanwhile we are dying inside and going through a lot. We don’t have to be soft, we have to be strong headed, to be determined, to know how to made decisions.

I’m Oreoluwa and I’m the first born and first grandchild of my family. It hasn’t been easy for me and most times I regret being the first born cause of the pressure and responsibility on my shoulder. I sometimes resent my parents for putting so much pressure on me and trying to make me the perfect role model for my siblings. I hate the fact that I have to take care of my siblings when I can’t even take care of myself properly. It’s exhausting trying to be perfect all the time, I find myself taking more responsibility than I should and I can be quite domineering with my siblings. People keep saying first borns are strong; I don’t think I’m strong and I cry at the slightest inconvenience that comes my way and when things don’t go out as planned or i make mistakes, I feel like I’m not good enough. Most time I have suicidal thoughts cause I’m tired of trying to be perfect and the amount of responsibility on my shoulders.

Being the first born comes with its benefits but it also comes with its own burdens. And I have come to learn that I’m human and I don’t always have to be perfect and it’s okay to make mistakes and do things wrong and it’s also okay to help others but not at cost of my well-being.