Life in an Hourglass

Every time I looked at him, I'd see a man staring back from somewhere deep within his eyes. It was somewhere there, that I saw a bright young soul that I would always be proud to call my son. Even as a baby, I still felt an overwhelming sense of achievement every time I looked through his glowing eyes. It was there, in his perfect face, that I always felt home.

I'd often say to myself as the months flew by, "I wonder what he'll be when he grows up?". I'd wonder that, and I'd start to think about the sort of things he always loved doing and whether or not he'd make a career out of it someday. Just crazy things like that, you know.

I'd watch him shuffle around on his bum. I'd listen to him string together two words and form a language of his own. I'd learn with him, and I'd always be thinking of tomorrow, and what it would bring.

Perhaps he'll be bigger tomorrow? Perhaps he'll start walking?

I'd always focus on reaching the milestones, that I'd often forget to just live in the moment. Time and time again, I'd ignore the present and simply narrow my vision on the future, where I always believed a tomorrow was inevitable.

But, one thing I wish I remembered as that hourglass ran quicker than most, is that tomorrow is never guaranteed, and not all hourglasses contain endless grains of sand. In fact, some contain only enough to last a short while. And, in my son's case – only a years supply.

See, the problem I feel I made during my son's short life, is that I took everything for granted. I always believed he would be there when I woke up. I always insisted that he'd be around to take care of his old man someday when I wound up old and grey. I always thought he'd be around, and that nothing bad could ever happen to something so beautiful.

We all have it in our minds that losing a child is something that simply won't happen to us. Of course, I believed the same prior to losing my son. I honestly believed deep down that no power could ever take such purity away from this earth. But, life is unpredictable, and, of course – life is cruel, even at the best of times.

I see countless parents plastering tiresome posts on social media these days. Mainly about their children, of course. Whether it being from an exhausting day of tidying up after them, or having to take painkillers due to the migraine from the endless whining. It's that sort of stuff, that truly makes me shake my head in sadness.

What I would give just to hear a scream again. Or, better yet – what I would give just to feel exhausted for my son.

We take everything for granted in life – that's for sure. And, I only wish I knew that my boy had a smaller hourglass than most. Because, if I knew that, I'd never miss a grain. I'd always watch the sand fall, right up until his final moments.

Life is much shorter than we'd like to believe. That's a sad truth I don't think any of us are ready to digest. But, by knowing life is indeed within an hourglass, we should all learn to not take anything for granted. We shouldn't believe there's always going to be a tomorrow on our calendars. We shouldn't press on thinking a future will always be set in stone.

We should live for today. Right here. In this moment.

Parents, I urge you – please, don't let the little things your children do wind you up. Embrace them. Learn to laugh about them. Confront them and shrug them off like they're mere speedbumps. Make every moment count and never let a minor thing play a major part on your day.

Live for now. Love your little ones. Love your family. Because, as I said – life is within an hourglass, and we don't know just how many grains are left.

Never waste a moment.