Lessons in Homeschooling

Dear Student Teachers,

It was March 2020 when the news of a Global pandemic changed the learning environment from schools to home.

As we prepared to put on our teacher's hats, we quickly learned that we would become the students for you have taught us more than we could ever have imagined during this time.

We have learned the value of the teacher becoming the student after the first week of homeschooling wore out its welcome.

We learned that attempting to hold on to what was, in hopes it would make you feel safe, actually made you lose interest in learning altogether and we could see the disappointment in your posture and the tone on your voices.

"Why do I have to go to school?" You would question every day.

"Learning is important for everyone." we would respond hoping it was enough to satisfy your bored soul.

We couldn't tell you that we were worried that too much time out of your routine would create difficulties when returning to school, or that the pressure of social media pictures of family's posting their creative homeschooling ideas made us feel incompetent.

We continued to stick to your actual school schedule with good intentions in our hearts.

We would wake up at the same time as school, begin at the same time as school, and end at the same time as school.

This schedule would have worked very well for all of us, had it been implemented at your actual school.

The pandemic had forced us to live from home.

We wanted you to feel stable and secure so we tried to mimic your school life, from home.

Great idea, great intentions, not so great outcome.

We quickly realized that instead of creating the same, we had an opportunity to create something new and make the most out of what was showing up in life.

We couldn't control the outside, but we could control the inside... well at least the inside of it.

Overnight, the kitchen and living room changed into a schoolhouse, and at 8 am the next morning, the invisible bell rang and we learned from home together.

The titles seemed clear. The caregivers were the teachers, and the offspring were the students.

How amazing it is to say that we were mistaken.

Yes, we guided you throughout the experience but we learned so much from you, student teachers, as you taught us to adjust to the changing times.

Honestly, once we let YOU lead in your learning, we all learned more together.

Having you contribute in a bigger way to your learning improved your quality of life more than we could have ever imagined.

We stopped calling outside time recess or gym. We caught ourselves wanting to label our gardening, "science."

We saw how trying to play school stressed you out and when school was out for the day, it was almost impossible to spend time together because of the hours of hard work we attempted to mimic.

We tried to be it all for you, and all it did was overwhelm us, put more responsibility on you, and we almost missed the opportunity to create something magical together.

Until the days you began showing up for class but not as your student self, but as your begrudged, "you can make me come but you can't make me like it," self.

We watched you feel your feelings while we labelled, questioned and pried. You said you were fine but we knew you weren't and either were we.

Wanting to end school early for good behavior, your dad, grandma and I reviewed what was working.

Schedules helped to keep us all accountable but you came alive when participating in your schedule.

From the time you chose to begin your day which was an hour later, to the subjects you chose... subjects were shorter and breaks were longer.

Turns out you were able to learn more this way.

Each day at the end of your day, we watched you excitedly fill out your schedules for the next day.

We all cooperated and because of that, we began to enjoy the time together. The stress melted away as the day began to flow smoothly. It didn't feel like work at all, only learning.

Dear student students, thank you for teaching the teacher.

For paving the way, lighting up the dark parts of learning that were ignored because life demanded more of us all the time.

For being patient with us as we tried on the new hat we were trying to wear so perfectly.

Thank you for schooling us in Life School about what is essential: harmony, growth, acceptance, learning, and most important Love.

It is now November 2021 and you are out of school again due to a strike.

You woke up October 29th, 2021, and just before you left the house in your Halloween costume to go to school, we were alerted that school was canceled.

When you asked why there was no school the day of your Halloween party we considered the youth appropriate response before explaining that all you needed to know about the why was this: adults employed as custodians, teaching assistants and bus drivers, plus health care workers asked the government for a raise because their quality of life required more for them to provide better services.

The government didn't agree, so they went on strike to encourage them to talk about it and be fair.

When you asked how come you couldn't go to school if there were teachers there, we responded, "those are the rules."

You were disappointed.

You signed on to your school team account and connected with a few classmates that gathered to show their costumes and support each other.

Your school teachers had prepared for a possible strike and therefore you knew how to connect with your class in case it happened.

You knew you couldn't control what was happening or when it happened.

You knew you couldn't control how you felt about it but you could control how you responded to your feelings.

You asked me to give you school work that day and I thought how strange that you did not want the day off but realized that it is how you were coping.

We played a fun math game together and then made plans to meet up with your school friends for a walk in the forest.

We could choose how to spend the day together. We chose nature.

On the weekend, social media posts changed from arguments and opinions about Covid, to arguments and opinions about the strike

I felt the frustration build up in me as I had been so focused on making sure you were okay, that I had not made time to feel what I was feeling.

It was a reminder that the things you had taught me in the past were very important right now.

Talking about feelings and expressing them as an adult isn't that much different than a child.

Choose someone you trust and can hold space for you and talk about it. I was reminded how important it was to have amazing support in my life, no matter the size of that support.

Some people can be supportive, others can not.

I am so happy that you will never have to question which one of these we are.

I had a panic attack. Lesson learned. Never ignore feelings.

I was able to find support in my partner once I was through the worst of it. I'll tell you what I learned.

Social media is not a recommended place of support.

Social media is great for picking sides and supporting those who think or feel the same, but not great for holding space, connecting, or calming down.

While scrolling online I saw a post from a trusted friend that said their family would not be participating in online learning.

I jumped on that bandwagon so fast and felt I was part of the solution. The more people refuse something, the quicker this ends.

Reminder, force never ends well.

I texted my greatest teacher, my mother, and declared my position.

She lovingly responded I was the parent and highlighted her wishes for the kids.

I announced that our house would not be participating in online learning, and you student teachers, responded with a low volume "okay."

I was not supporting anyone at that moment because I was reacting to the stress of suppressed emotions and worries.

Choosing sides that no one asked me to choose and I had no business being involved with.

My business is our family's well being. Without that, how can we support others?

I tucked you into bed and we talked about the next day plans.

That's when I realized that you were brave, and trusting enough to express yourself.

"Mommy, we are okay if you don't want us to log in, but we want to have the online school experience, at least just for the first day. But if you don't want us to, then that's okay."

You, my best teachers, stopped me in my tracks.

I let out a deep breath that I did not realize I was holding in so tightly.

The choice I was making seemed like mine to make. I wondered as parents aren't we meant to guide our children, not boss them around?

In our family, we respect everyone's input and discuss things even if in the end we parents make the final decision.

I thanked you for expressing your wants and needs. I thanked you for trusting my decision even if you didn't understand it.

I thanked you for questioning what you were told.

I thanked you for teaching me to keep what's truly important in the forefront.

You thanked me for listening to you.

I thanked you for teaching us even when we thought we were the ones teaching you. Again.

Children learn from the adults in their life.

We won't always get it right and some of our best learning comes from finding ways that didn't work.

We can, however, be more conscious in our decision-making.

Thank you student teachers for helping us understand about adjusting, focusing on helpful solutions, and appreciating the things that truly matter.

We thank and send loving vibes to those being called to action on this matter. To all of humanity experiencing this change in individual and collective ways.

Whether we decided to log in online, stand at the picket lines, or create our own home learning experience, we have learned that peace begins within.

We ended up doing a little bit of everything.

We logged on in the mornings and you connected with your classmates and teachers.

It was the best thing for you! You were glowing while growing through this.

We had suggestions of what to do with our day and we let you lead the way.

We experienced the picket line, honking in support and we learned how to bake cookies, grocery shop, and care for the animals in our home better.

You spent 2 hours online creating a game board with a classmate.

Dear student teachers, you proved that there isn't a one size fits all solution but that we could positively impact the whole by choosing what is right for each of us.

Thank you student teachers for continuing to lead the way and being so patient with the adults trying to figure out how to best serve at this moment in time.

Sincerely,

Your teacher students