Judge Not...But You Are So Judgeable

Even though I pride myself on being a liberal progressive and emapthic human being, every now and then I get a thunk upside my head.

That last thunk was when I realized that I had broken my own rule and wrote a scathing post on Facebook about our Montana senator who was siding with President Trump in the "Steal the Vote" campaign.

I got just what I should have been smart enough to expect, a lot of unfriends and quite a few bitebacks on my stand. It always surprises me when those I consider friends get so angry about politics, but then here I was, one of them.

I was angry about the seige on Washington, but more than angry, I was just so sad. Sad enough to weep most of the day. I was brokenhearted that my fellow Americans would and could be so selfish that they would dare to storm our Capitol.

But as Forrest Gump would tell you, "Selfish is as selfish does." Or, he would have said that had he thought of it.

Narrasistic Males I Have Known

Google describes a narcissitic or NPD as:

"A disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance.

A narcissistic personality disorder is found more commonly in men. The cause is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.

The disorder needs to be diagnosed by a professional."

Or in my case, a sister, namely me. Or, I would have, had I thought about it and wanted to. Oh yeah, I do want to!

My older brother had those above-mentioned symptoms and those of us around him were often left in wonderment at the lengths he would go to get a "rush."

He had a charismatic personality that could win over almost everyone he met. He was able to impress those who were above him in social ranking and make those who were below him, love him and do his bidding.

Leaving a Trail of Messes To Be Cleaned Up By Others

His smile, his influence, his gifts and glad- handing would make you think you were the most important person in the world to him. Until you weren't.

I watched my family and friends want to join him in his investment schemes and dreams he painted for them. He would often get people to invest again and again. Almost like when you keep hitting your head with a hammer because it feels so good when you finally stop.

He loved to make grand gestures that others would see and use as evidence of his amazing giving and sharing nature. His business partner (at the time) commented on how he had witnessed Joe (not his real name) drop a hundred dollar bill as a tip for the waitress.

His loyal buddies would often share, over Crown Royal whiskey, how he paid for the groceries of the person behind him in line. Oh, he was an expert at the grand gestures and big moments.

Not so good at sending a monthly check to cover a relative's medical bills, however. When I confronted him on that issue, he was furious. Didn't I realize how much it cost for his lifestyle? Wasn't I aware that He "important" things to do and places to be.

Then I was no longer in the "inner circle'. Hmm, does that sound familar to those who dared to voice a concern over Trump's actions?

Sad and Glad To See Him Go

I refused to lie for my brother when my mother asked about him. The most I would do is not hurt her, so I would just change the subject or say "Hmmmm". She wanted to see him as a knight in shining armour and so I let her believe that he was indeed just so generous and kind to everyone, including her.

At his funeral, I was sad. Sad that we had not been able to have an eaqul relationship. He was applauded by those who had received his approval and unhonered by those of us who had not.

It was a large funeral, by any standards. He would have been so happy to hear the various waitresses and business friends talk about how much fun it was to be in his orbit. They laughed about how he once stole a flower arrangement from a bank and gave it to a hotel clerk. One friend told how they had been high and on the golf coourse and comandeered the golf cart to drive to the sandwich shop.

It is all fun and games, until it isn't. Trump has been acting as if he and his cronies were in middle school and bullying the little kids on the playground.

Just like in middle school, we all have to grow up someday and assume a mature relationship with life. At some point , the piper must be paid and the consequences endured.

I am a big believer in the "here after" whether that means heaven or just the place where Trump will go when he is out of the White House and no longer the top dog in the junk yard.

May he rest in peace.