Is it true that Boys don’t cry?

.

Is it true that Boys don’t cry?

While Men still don’t weep over a destroyed heart?

By Ross E F Lombardi

.

Us writers must research a lot of strange stuff

My strangest google search (so far) was

“What is the average weight of a 15-year-old boy's severed arm” for a murder mystery I was creating.

.

Upon doing research as a male writer,

I was happening to be googling,

“Is there life after divorce?”

.

Almost all "Survival after divorce" articles are aimed at women.

.

This bothered me…

A LOT!

.

I do fully understand and accept that quite wrongly that it is "a man's world" and that fact both should and must change, for all our sakes.

BUT

Two wrongs do not make a right,

(…and never have)

.

The tone of some of these articles always seems to be almost assuming the "the poor abandoned woman" scenario.

.

And even those that are more level-headed mention things like "Divorce Coaches"

- as if your normal everyday person, at a time of great financial cost, can afford such indulgent shit!

.

Don't get me wrong, if you have the money to burn then by all means hire one - if it helps.

.

However, most of us do not live that "ladies who lunch" lifestyle.

.

The point is - that according to the larger world - from a quick internet search, lower working-class men, who get divorced either...

.

A )

Do not exist

.

B )

Do Exist but screw 'em.

They should never have been so horrible to their poor put upon, now ex, wives.

.

D )

Do exist,

But they are so strong and manly that they do not need any emotional support or advice....

.

But here is the ironic rub…

It is exactly such assumptions and unrealistic expectations of society that create a type of broken man, who can never cry at a funeral and who must get drunk before getting into a fight to express that sorrow and loss, instead!

(Because that is a socially acceptable and so-called manly way to self-harm…)

(At the end of the day… that is all it really is… Nothing more or less than Self harm… dressed in a delusional yet more attractive, man macho aspirational fib, packaged by years of a stupid pulp media tradition.)

And I am saying this as someone who knows for a FACT that because of this sort of indoctrination,

I, myself, will struggle to cry, even in private, when either of my now elderly parents dies!

I say this as a man who has had the tears beaten out of them at a boarding school.

(Working-class background child who got a type of full Scholarship.)

(The background is, actually, far more complex. but that is the short version.)

A child learned, that if you do not cry when you are hit.

Then they eventually give up hitting you.

I had this first lesson at 10 and graduated as a “successful” non-Cyrier by the age of 13.

Crying was bad.

But going into a rage, hitting, and harming another human being was ok.

Even if they were only 10, homesick and trying not to cry…

.

(And “NO”, I have NOT forgiven that 13-year-old, who I used to be!)

(I doubt I will even forgive him/myself.)

.

If you do not want a world that has “alpha male douche bags” and all the same twisted sick shit that goes with that gross invented heavy burdensome garbage…

.

If we do not want or need the sort of men who become a form of sinister advisory to women.

.

Then you need to treat us, men, as fellow human beings,

Instead of just portable hairy nut sacks.

.

If we do not want or need the sort of men who become a form of sinister advisory to the whole world at large…

.

Then you need to start treating us men and normal biological beings with real emotions, minds, fears, and doubts.

Not as 80’s stereotype, oiled action hero, macho robots whose only allowable emotions are rage and lust.

.

If we want a better world for everyone…

Then there is a sick sinister underlying systemic sexism against the male gender…

… That then becomes a major problem for the fight for woman’s rights and the female gender population…

… That MUST be ALSO dealt with!

.

Just as major advisory to Women.

Are other Women oppressing their own gender with types of self-defeating anti-female liberation sexism,

(Yes, misogynistic men do oppress women, but they have a butt load of female allies!)

Men are the worst and most guilty of oppressing their own gender with types of self-defeating anti-Male liberation sexism,

(Yes, Misandry Women do oppress Men, but they have a butt load of Male allies!)

At the end of the day… as always… it comes down to profits and money.

Pushing certain gender images and aspirations to push certain products and the advertising space to sell those same types of products.

.

We are going to crash!

Crash and burn!

This thing is on a hill of broken twisted roads, no breaks, gaining speed and the wheel alignment is totally fucked, for more than half a dozen different reasons!

Pulling all our collective weight and inertia towards only one side of the fugitive vehicle will NOT set a straight and true social course!

If we pull only to the one side… …That of only tackling misogynistic style sexism against only women.

We all end up in a metaphorical ditch full of high smelling bullshit, with the airbag of inequity blown out and breaking our collective bloody noses!

I would like to assume that no one sane or sensible wants that!

.

Trapped in the twisted metal of our deeds.

<Sniff!>

Beyond that initial ripe smell of bullshit…

<Sniff! Sniff!>

Is that the smell of flame and petrol that I smell!

Will I now burn!?

?

Will we All, Now, burn?!

!