In the Time of Night

The only time I haven’t seen a scary day in the time of night was the last time my mother was home. She wasn’t a very strong woman, emotionally, she was weak. She was weakly uninhibited without a reason not to be. I wonder if being a mother played a role on her becoming herself. If we kids somehow made her into the weaker woman that she was. I decided the last time she disappeared that I would not look for her and yet in every face I pass on the broken cobble streets I see her. I see her in the broken windows and busted frames. I see her in the rain drops as they fall on my face. I see her in the moon at night while I rock myself to sleep. I sing sad songs to her and wonder if she’ll ever come home?

As the night goes on we wonder if our mothers will ever come home? We wonder if they will ever see us again? The mothers are gone but not forgotten as the children push onward. As soon as a girl turns the age of 18 and has her first child she disappears and never to be seen again. And I, I am 17. I am the new age of consent but I have hidden my age from others, I am smaller than other girls my age and underdeveloped. I hide from as many as I can as I have no one. My father went insane looking for mother. There are fathers here still but they work and work and toil in hopes that their wives will be brought back, but the chancellor refuses our cries. We don’t know what happened to the mothers. The sisters hide their ages until they can no longer.

I am Wispa and I am hidden. I’m a whisper in the night song. I am a thought so quickly forgotten. A ghost of a family that was. The night has come and will not relinquish its grip upon our world. The Chancellor has seen to that. His regime has plunged us from a society into a darkness. There had been much confusion when the mothers started to go missing. First, the old ones had disappeared, my neighbor Freddie, his grandparents had gone missing and no one could find them. As time went on we gave up, no matter how many times they dredged the lake or scoured the city streets we couldn’t find the old ones. Slowly but surely our society died.

Even as a little girl I knew something bad was happening. Mother would hide me in her skirts when the police patrol would walk by our house. We kids weren’t allowed outside to play or to pick flowers. I had to hide, within our house, the ground floor basement had inner rooms where we had to stay. Away from the windows and the eyes of the Chancellor’s men. But then one day, she was gone. I woke up from a nap and rubbed my eyes at the sleepiness, reaching for my mother who should have been at my side but she wasn’t there. I rolled myself into the warmth of where she had been, it was still warm. I remember starting to cry and sitting upright on the bed and looking around at the nothingness. Only a small light came from the crack of the door being ajar slightly. I carefully climbed off of the bed and padded to the door. I peeked outside and saw empty space. The light from the window was growing dimmer and I could see the pink shadows the light cast indicating that the sun would be down soon and it would be night. Dark, scary night. I remember starting to cry and cry and cry for mama. No one came. I sat down in the corner and quietly sobbed for mama. When I could cry no more and the sun had gone and left me in darkness I tentatively peeked out the window, I couldn’t see a single thing, darkness from here to there and side to side and up and down.

Not a glimmer of candlelight or life anywhere. I could here soft foot steps above me. My father I thought, and I quietly walked back to the inner rooms and hid behind the bed. A pillow fell off the bed onto me as I ducked behind it. The soft yellow pillow still smelled like mama. I closed my eyes tight and held my cry in. Father came into the room and called so softly I almost missed it, “Wispa?” I stood up and began to cry. I remember father scooping me up and patting me softly, “There, there Wispa... where is mama?”

From then on it was me and father. He never let me leave the house after that. I had to stay in the inner rooms from that moment on. I could only sneak glances of sunlight and see glimmers of people when he would leave to work or to search for mama. I never saw other children. I decided to write stories within my head to keep my mind busy. The days were so long until they weren’t. The days became night and the night stayed.

A tall gangly boy poked his head into the dark room, “Wispa?” Chawl called for her softly. So softly you might have missed it. Wispa sat up, “Chawl?” Wispa sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Wispa, it’s me we got to go.” Wispa padded to where his voice came from, “why? What’s going on?” Chawl felt for her arms, “The Chancellor has announced there’s still a girl unaccounted for! That girl is you, Wispa, we have to get you away from here, my father has a wagon ready to smuggle you out into the next district.” Wispa whimpered, “Chawl?” Chawl smiled back, “Don’t worry, I’m coming with you.” He held her hand in the dark and they continued onward in the night. As they moved silently in the dark, Chawl leading the way, he slowly opened the basement door and they stepped out into the night. A wagon came around the corner and without stopping Chawl and Wispa hopped into the straw in the back of the wagon, burrowing their way underneath and as far down as they could until Chawl found the open part where they had created a space for them to hide underneath the wagon. Chawl pushed Wispa down into it, “Stay down until I come get you, just try to sleep.” Wispa blinked and squeezed his hand, hard.

Chawl crawled away and up through the straw and climbed up into the seat beside his father, Tobias. For a moment, Wispa saw the night sky and the moon and starts winked at her.

She lay still and closed her eyes and wished for her life. The cold of the night was startling, she had never expected the cold. She woke up so suddenly she banged her head on the ledge of where she had been hiding in the wagon. She sucked in her breath. The wagon was still rolling onward but this time there was sun sparkling through the hay at her. As well as frosty and cold air. The cracks of the planks of wood of the wagon allowed for lots of air to escape and chill her. She lay her head down and listened to the soft snorts of the horses. A voice called out, “stop! Stop in the name of the chancellor.” “Whoaaaa boys,” said Tobias. Wispa could hear the horses pawing at the ground and snuffling. “You! Who are you, what is your business in district 7?” The voice was closer now. Tobias spoke, “we bring hay, to a friend, a friend who has recently lost his wife and needs extra for their goats, too feed the goats who make milk for their newborn.” The voices clomped to the other side of the wagon and she could hear rustling. “Oy, be sure to register with the goods man.” Wispa could hear Tobias respond, “yes sir, walk on!” She could hear him give the horses a gentle touch with the reins and they were off. The jerky wagon bumping against the road. It felt like they had rolled on for a lifetime until the night fell and they stopped. It was dark and cold here. Not even the crickets dared to make their music. Wispa lay still and listened. She heard Tobias and Chawl descend from the wagon and softly thud on the ground and walk away. Distantly a door opened and closed.

From within Chawl watched the wagon as his father, Tobias, talked with the man, “she’s hidden within the wagon, we passed one patrol but they let us go on, I told them we were bringing hay to a friend who had lost their wife and needed help to feed their goats for milk for their newborn.” The large man smiled big, “well done Tobias, we have saved one small girl from their evil work.” Tobias nodded, where will you keep her? The large man smiled, “with my daughters, under the barn, we have carved out a small shelter underneath where my wife and daughters live until this business is gone from our world.” Tobias nodded, “let me put away the wagon in your barn for you this night.”

Wispa could hear the door open and shut, she shivered and turned towards the noise of it. She saw a small gleam of lantern light through the hay. Tobias’ voice came softly sliding through the threads of hay, “I will put this wagon away for the night, come dear horse, you need rest too.” The wagon began to roll forward and Wispa closed her eyes tight as she began to shiver in the cold, she should have brought more to wear but she wanted to be light as a feather. To be undetected.

She could hear Chawl’s fleet footsteps as he took hold of the horse’s bridle and led the horse into the barn. The creak of the barn doors on squeaky hinges vibrated through her soul. The musty scent of animals and barn enveloped them. She sighed softly. It was warmer in here, the warmth seeping through the cracks and crevices of the hay bale. She knew this was where Tobias’ farm hands slept and so they kept a fire in the small hearth to warm themselves and the animals. Wispa lay still and listened until she could hear the reigns and bridle clinking and being unlatched. Chawl spoke softly to the horse, “come now sweet horse, let’s get you put away for a nights rest.” Tobias stood quietly listening for a moment and when he decided it was safe he parted the hay bale and looked upon the tiny young woman hidden in his wagon’s bed. His heart ached for this young woman and her family, his heart ached for his own wife and daughter who had been taken away. To where? They couldn’t know, they couldn’t find them, many men had left in search but never came home. Tobias exhaled, “come on Wispa, it is time to make you disappear.” He extended his hand to her.

Wispa knew Chawl because mama used to take care of him in the time before. They were allowed to play together in the hidden rooms of her home. They would often hide notes for each other in their mama’s aprons. She took a deep breath and took Tobias’ hand. His warm hand roughened by callus and work. He hauled her up and swiftly lifted her light frame down from the wagon bed. He threw his warm blanket over her shoulders and placed her in Chawl’s keeping. Chawl put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. His brown hair around his face and his big blue eyes looked teary. He held her close as they made their way across the barn to a stall door, he opened the stall and placed her gently in a corner. He smiled at her and fumbled in the dark, he seemed to be searching the dark corner of the dusty stall. He found what he was looking for and pulled, a dark wood door formed in the darkness, there was no light, only cold air spilled forth from the passage. Tobias held a lantern out to Chawl over the stall door. “Her son, you know where to go, swiftly, before we’re missed.” Chawl nodded and took Wispa under his arm again. Wispa looked into Tobias’ eyes, he only nodded to her. Wispa held onto Chawl and they went forth into the dark. Once they were inside Chawl turned around and handed Wispa the lantern, he pulled the door behind them shut. Wispa looked around, it was a dark tunnel, much like a what you might imagine a rabbit’s tunnel to look like. She felt a frisson of fear run down her back, “Chawl…” Chawl turned to her, “It is okay Wispa, we are under a porter’s home, he is a good man, his name doesn’t need to be known, it is better if you don’t know Wispa but there are others… his daughters and wife live down here, it will be safe… until we can find a solution to this terrible life.” Chawl held her hands and implored her with his eyes, “Wispa… you’re my best friend, I love you so…” Wispa smiled and wiped a smudge from his cheek, “Oh, Chawl, I love you too. It will all be alright.” Chawl pulled her close and held her for a moment. Wispa closed her eyes and imagined a bright beautiful field of flowers and they lay in the center of it, basking in the warm, bright sun.” Chawl pulled away and began down the corridor, he held her hand, keeping him close to her side. As they traveled the tunnel seemed to slope down and then up again. The lantern held out in front of them provided enough light to allow for them not to stumble. After some time they came out into a small room with another door. Chawl knocked softly. A little girl opened the door and looked up, she was small and wore a kerchief over her hair. She smiled, her blueberry eyes shining. “You are Wispa?” she whispered. Wispa nodded. The little girl held out her hand. Chawl placed Wispa’s hand in the little girls, “This is where we part Wispa but I will be back for you, one day.” Wispa smiled a tear leaking down her cheek. She followed the little girl into the room. The little girl turned and shut the door on Chawl. He looked so forlorn in the dark tunnel, alone.

Once the door was shut and the lock in place the little girl smiled, “I am Lily, my mother and sisters are within… follow me.” Wispa followed Lily through another long hall and door, until they opened up into a large cavern type room. There was a hearth and stools and brightly colored tapestries on the walls. A small woman stood at the hearth, stirring a put. Rows of beds along the walls held sleeping forms of other young women. The woman turned and brought Lily close to her, “Oh, well done Lily dear.” Her lovely lilting voice filled the alcove of the room. Wispa smiled softly at the homey picture. The woman walked towards Wispa, “Wispa, my dear, thank goodness they found you in time, I am Louisa.” Louisa took Wispa’s hands and kissed the top of each of her hands. ”You will be a part of us now, all we ask is that you contribute and keep our secret.” Wispa nodded, “Of course, I would never…” Louisa nodded and lead her softly to a corner of the room. A bed stood waiting for her, a brightly embroidered tapestry hung upon the wall by her bed. “Here dear, this will be your bed, I am certain you are tired.” Wispa felt her body sag and all she could do was nod. Louisa smiled sympathetically, “my daughter’s all sleep too, aside from Lily, she and I are night birds, please rest, we can talk more tomorrow my darling.” Wispa fell into bed and folded herself beneath the heavy covers to discover a warm rag wrapped stone at her feet. She closed her eyes and inhaled the warm smell of fire and home. Louisa leaned down and tucked the blankets around her, “you are safe little one, all is well, may the mother watch over us.” Wispa closed her eyes and fell into peaceful oblivion.

The soft chirp of a little bird woke Wispa the next day, her eyes fluttered open to at least a dozen pairs of eyes watching her. Wispa blinked, “Oh… um.. Hi?” The little girls giggled. A tall girl with strawberry colored braids shooed the girls away, “shoo the lot of you, for heavens sake, can’t you see the girl’s only just woke?” The strawberry hair girl shrugged, “sorry, we never see anyone new, so you’re a treat.” Wispa sat up, “Hi, I’m Wispa.” The girl smiled, “Hi Wispa, I’m Marta, let me show you how things go around here.” Wispa stood up slowly, stretching out, Marta helped her make her bed and shake out her pillow. Then, she showed Wispa the washing basin and small closet for nature’s calls, “The other side of this is a long long long long way down, you have to keep an eye on closing this door,” she showed Wispa the lock on the closet door, “it’s high up so the little ones don’t fall in.” Marta smiled and brought Wispa back into the living area, “Our Pa and older brothers manage the family wine business. They keep us safe and hidden. Jean..” Marta pointed to a young woman ,” she was the first born daughter she is 21 summers.” Marta smiled, “I’m 17 springs, how old are you?” Wispa smiled at Jean who waved at her. “I’m 17 winters.” Marta beamed, “well then, we’re like sisters aren’t we?” Wispa smiled. Louisa sat in the corner nursing a baby and smiled, “Marta, darling, take Wispa to get some breakfast.” Marta smiled, “oh right, sorry mama.” Wispa followed Marta to the long table, three little girls say eating porridge. Marta and Wispa sat down together, Jean handed them bowls of porridge and berries. Wispa sighed, oh this is heaven. Marta winced, “you’ve no family then?” Wispa sighed, “unfortunately my mama disappeared when I was young and my dad’s mind disappeared soon after that but I’ve no brothers or sisters.” Marta nodded understandingly, “I see, I’m so sorry about that, but you do have us now. I’m glad for it.” Wisap nodded, “yes, please understand I am ever so grateful it’s just so different than the before times.” Jean stopped before Wispa and leaned down, “don’t worry Wispa, it won’t be forever, the men are working to save us all.” Marta grinned, “you say that because Tom wants to marry you and have babies.” Marta sing songed at her sister. Jean flushed bright pink, “Marta! I am 21 summers, do I not deserve a family of my own? And you as well when you’re older?” Marta smiled, “of course dearest sister.” Louisa stood behind Marta and swayed with a baby in her arms, “Marta, darling don’t harass your sister, Jean, my love, one day soon you will have a family of your own, Pa is working towards that goal.” Jean nodded and went back to her mending. Wispa smiled at the baby. Louisa leaned forward, “have you ever seen a babe Wispa?” Wispa shook her head, “No ma’am.” Louisa smiled and lowered the baby over Wispa’s head and plopped the baby in her arms. Wispa’s eyes nearly popped from her head. The baby was swaddled in pink and had rosy cheeks and a button nose just like the stories mama had told her of her own babyhood. The baby slept peacefully and Wispa sat still, so as not to disturb the sleeping angel. Marta leaned over, “wait til Margarite wakes up, she’ll scream the roof down.” Jean rolled her eyes and stabbed her mending. The little girls had a doll house set up in the corner and were busy with their play. Louisa went back to stand on a tall stool and climbed up, she carefully took a rope in her hands and pulled on the string. Marta softly whispered, “she does that at breakfast and dinner, so Pa and the brothers know we’re ok… once we’re okay, twice we need something and thrice we are in danger.”

The baby started to stir so Louisa took the baby back and sung her a soft lullaby and rocked her in the chair. “What do you do with your days Marta?” Marta looked balefully towards a corner of the room with a desk, “studies.” Marta took their dishes to the wash basin and rinsed them clean. They stacked the dishes neatly and set down at the desk. Marta pulled a book out, Wispa handled it carefully, “oh my goodness.” Louisa came over to them, “Wispa, do you read?” Wispa shook her head, “No ma’am. My mama was gone before she could teach me but she read to me all the time in the before times.” Louisa nodded, “Well Marta, looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you! You will help Wispa to learn to read.” Marta gaped at her mother but none the less nodded, “Yes ma’am”. A knock sounded at the door, the girls went silent and stared at their mother. Louisa walked calmly to the door and listened. Someone on the other side coughed. Louisa smiled and the girls let out an audible sigh. Louisa opened the door and a large man entered the room. He had a belly and red beard. He swept Louisa up in his arms and kissed her soundly. The girls all sighed wistfully at their parents, the little girls hopped up and ran to their Pa. His big arms seemed to encompass them all and he swept all three little girls in his arms. “Now then, how are my sweeties this day?” The little girls giggled and kicked. He placed them down and gave each a lollipop. Louisa showed him the baby girl and he caressed her cheek. He walked to Jean and smiled down at her and presented her with a fresh novel. “Oh, thank you Pa!” Jean whispered. “Inside is a note from her Tom” Pa said. Wispa blushed.