I Still Remember

I never thought that I could be so emotionally attached to a building. A building that’s old, a building that’s falling apart, but here I am standing in front of the old barn on the back side of my property; tears rolling down my cheek, waiting for the contractors to come and tear it down, along with all the memories it holds.

I can’t help but think of everything that has happened in that barn. I have lived on this property for all 89 years of my life. A lifetime of memories. Good memories and bad.

70 years ago, and I still remember my wedding day like it was just yesterday. My first dance with my beautiful wife with our family gathered around us in the barn.

68 years ago, and I still remember the day I was wiping down the machinery and my wife went into labour for the first time right there in that barn.

60 years ago, I still remember the candles glowing at dusk as we renewed our vows with our beautiful family in the barn.

Time goes by fast when you’re living a life, a life full of love, a life full of happiness, a life that was worth living.

50 years ago, and I still remember the day we got all new farm equipment, all brand new, all-electric.

40 years ago, and I still remember when we did renovations on the barn, new insulation, new flooring, and a fresh coat of paint, it looked brand new.

35 years ago, and I still remember the day my first grandchild was unexpectedly born right here in this barn.

I never thought that I could be so emotionally attached to a building. A building that’s old, a building that’s falling apart, but here I am standing in front of the old barn on the back side of my property; tears rolling down my cheek, waiting for the contractors to come and tear down the barn, along with all the memories it holds.

20 years ago, and I still remember the first time we got animals in the barn, cute little piglets, a few chickens and a horse.

10 years ago, I renewed my vows with my wife for the last time. Surrounded by our children and grandchildren in that barn.

9 years ago, 9 years ago is when my life really changed. 9 years ago, and I still remember how my wife died in that barn.

I never thought that I could be so emotionally attached to a building. A building that’s old, a building that’s falling apart, but here I am standing in front of the old barn on the back side of my property; tears rolling down my cheek, waiting for the contractors to come and tear down the barn, along with all the memories it holds.

8 years ago, and I still remember the day my granddaughter got married surrounded our whole family in that barn. The lights glistening in dark, the cupcake tree against the back wall, the same wall my wedding cake was against 62 years prior in that barn.

7 years ago, and I still remember the day I got rid of the animals, I was too old, too weak to take care of them anymore.

6 years ago, and is still remember selling all of the farm equipment. It hadn’t been used in years it was just collecting dust.

5 years ago, and I still remember the day I put my property up for sale. It never sold.

Now today here I am standing in front of the old barn on the back side of my property. Tears roll down my face as I hear the contractors pulling into the dirt laneway headed towards the barn; my barn.

Tears roll down my face as I see my daughter pull in behind the contractors coming to take me to the nursing home as I near the end of my life, I always thought I would be scared to die but today as I stand here looking at this old barn and all the memories I have here, the good, the bad, and everything in between, I realize how greatful I am to have this barn be the last thing I see on the outside.

Soon… soon I will be with my beautiful wife.